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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 451297" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Just because you LIVED with somone......doesn't mean you really love them anymore either. Love is at the least complicated and at best - enjoyable for TWO people who WORK TOGETHER at something that is one of the hardest things in the world. Relationships aren't easy - they just don't HAPPEN and are HAPPY - it's work. Making sure the love stays strong IN a relationship is often taken for granted so much to the point with one partner that little by little, piece by piece, bit by bit and sometimes without you even realizing it (because it's pounded into our heads for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickeness and health) that the other person didn't really try and we've fallen not only out of love, but also out of LIKE with that person and eventually instead of having a LIFE with that person????? We have an EXISTANCE with that person, and our relationship starts to swing the other way and we begin little by little, bit by bit, piece by piece - to loathe them and before you know it? You are living with someone you can't stand and don't want to be with. </p><p></p><p>That's what I wrote about my X in my journal on how I felt at the end of my relationship five years after I left. One year after I left? I wrote something to the effect of - I'd still give him a chance to be a family and a part of me loved him and wanted to be a family because the problem was his addictions.... if he'd quit the drugs, stop seeing other women (he had three or four women when I left and countless others in our marriage that I was unaware of), stop drinking, and stop beating me unconscious over 10 or 20 dollars for crack, and love his son....and how I'd really love to give up one of my three jobs where I didn't have to go in with makeup on my bruises, and broken bones, stop screaming at me, stop screaming at our son, the thing he did about trading our son for drugs - we could work through it. Even though we seemed to be more calm - I was glad to be away but figured a few months in counseling would fix it all. It took 15 years - twice a week. </p><p></p><p>YOUR PERSPECTIVES CHANGE.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 451297, member: 4964"] Just because you LIVED with somone......doesn't mean you really love them anymore either. Love is at the least complicated and at best - enjoyable for TWO people who WORK TOGETHER at something that is one of the hardest things in the world. Relationships aren't easy - they just don't HAPPEN and are HAPPY - it's work. Making sure the love stays strong IN a relationship is often taken for granted so much to the point with one partner that little by little, piece by piece, bit by bit and sometimes without you even realizing it (because it's pounded into our heads for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickeness and health) that the other person didn't really try and we've fallen not only out of love, but also out of LIKE with that person and eventually instead of having a LIFE with that person????? We have an EXISTANCE with that person, and our relationship starts to swing the other way and we begin little by little, bit by bit, piece by piece - to loathe them and before you know it? You are living with someone you can't stand and don't want to be with. That's what I wrote about my X in my journal on how I felt at the end of my relationship five years after I left. One year after I left? I wrote something to the effect of - I'd still give him a chance to be a family and a part of me loved him and wanted to be a family because the problem was his addictions.... if he'd quit the drugs, stop seeing other women (he had three or four women when I left and countless others in our marriage that I was unaware of), stop drinking, and stop beating me unconscious over 10 or 20 dollars for crack, and love his son....and how I'd really love to give up one of my three jobs where I didn't have to go in with makeup on my bruises, and broken bones, stop screaming at me, stop screaming at our son, the thing he did about trading our son for drugs - we could work through it. Even though we seemed to be more calm - I was glad to be away but figured a few months in counseling would fix it all. It took 15 years - twice a week. YOUR PERSPECTIVES CHANGE. [/QUOTE]
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