That kid...GRRRRRRR

KTMom91

Well-Known Member
Tomorrow (Sunday) we are celebrating Miss KT's 18th birthday, though her actual birthday is the 17th. She went to the boyfriend's tonight, and asked me to hang out the laundry in the washer. I said I would try, since my knee was bothering me, and I happened to fall asleep. When I got up, I'd forgotten about the laundry.

She just got home, and started yelling at me about the laundry, saying she couldn't count on me. Excuse me? This is the child who still can't remember to feed the cats, a job she's had for the last 13 years. After saying several times in a calm voice for her to stop yelling at me, I yelled back. She stopped. I kept going, pointing out that when she was 100% able to be counted on, we'd talk. And along those lines, who didn't feed and water the cats this morning? She stomped off to her room, saying, "Now I'll have to wash those clothes for the third time, since they'll be dry. But never mind, never mind..." I hate that long-suffering martyr BS. My mother does it all the time.

Right now, I do not want to make a birthday cake for her. I do not want to make pasta salad for the party. I do not want to go to the party. I do not want to do anything for her, and that includes hanging out the laundry at midnight. Which I might have done, saying I was sorry I forgot, had she asked me like a civilized person if I would mind doing it now.

My head hurts from the screaming. I don't do it very often, so it's all the more effective when I do.
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
I'm sorry, Mary. Those kinds of confrontations are so demoralizing.

Big hugs.

Suz
 

Andy

Active Member
I am so sorry. I know what you feel like. Very similar to my feelings on Diva's 16th birthday. She woke up with her all entitling and gloating thought of all rules are now out the door - she was so happy to be 16 and I just lost it. I told her that 16 was a number and she did not get to walk away from the rules of the house because of it.

I know what it is like to not only not be happy with them on their special days but to be frustrated and angry and not wanting to make anything for them.

We had a laundry incident last week. I found her wet laundry in the wash machine - took out the items I didn't think could survive the dryer and put the remainder in the dryer. Apparently not the right thing to do. There were items in there that she said I ruined because of the setting I put it on (our dryer is on its last leg - the highest setting still does a poor job at drying clothes so I doubt the setting I put it on will hurt them). However, instead of thanking me for trying to help out, she throws a diva tantrum about how I just ruined her expensive clothes (then don't be buying expensive clothes - problem solved).
 

DazedandConfused

Well-Known Member
Agh! I had one of those confrontations on Friday with Daughter (who will be turning 18 on the 26th). She went to AZ with my Mom to her SILs 50th birthday party. She's getting older and didn't want to make the drive alone, so she asked Daughter if she wanted to come along since she gets on famously with her sister in law's daughter.

Okay, she knew the about the trip a month in advance. She does have a job and has been working a lot of hours, BUT YOU THINK SHE WOULD HAVE DONE SOME LAUNDRY AT LEAST THE DAY BEFORE.

She gets up 30 minutes (up late texting, didn't set her alarm, and didn't ask me to be sure to wake her)before my mother is to pick her up screaming she has no clean clothes. Then tons of drama and telling my Mom she's not going. The "not going" part was the spark that lit the ignition to my bomb and I exploded. She has pulled this kind of nonsense for years and to then pull it on my mother, I was ready to grab all her stuff and throw it on the street. I'm not kidding.

I had to leave because I had a dr appointment, and then she wanted a hug goodbye. I couldn't do it. Her behavior has consequences and it negatively impacts my ability to show her affection. Especially, after years of it.

(((hugs)))
 

gcvmom

Here we go again!
I'm sorry she's being such a pain Mary. I'd be royally ticked at her, too. My husband used to sabotage himself like that a lot. (Hugs)
 

mstang67chic

Going Green
See, if that were me...I'd set the cake mix, pan and ingredients on the counter, point it out to her and then go to dinner with husband. :devil:
 

KTMom91

Well-Known Member
I did that two years ago, Stang. The cake looked like someone had eaten and regurgitated it. Once she asked me (like a civilized person) if I would make her a cake, I did.

She toned herself down this morning, asked nicely, so I gave it a try. The plan was for a Mad Hatter hat, and a smaller cake on pedestals marked "Eat Me." With a gum paste teacup, sleeping dormouse, Cheshire cat teeth...all things Alice. It was a disaster. The cake was so moist it fell apart when I took it out of the pans. Even though I made sure the cake was cool, the frosting had melted, and held nothing together. The hat was sliding like crazy, and every time I tried putting it back, more crumbs appeared. After about 45 minutes of fighting with it, I said, "#$%&@ this," we were already running late, and bought a cake at the store. That stop, along with the little presents from the animals, made us about 15 minutes late since I'd been fighting with the stupid cake, and not picking up presents. She got Otter Pops from Buddy, pens from the senior cats, peacock feathers from the panthers who ate the ones she had...little things like that.

I guess I'm PMS-ing or something, because I have NOT had a good weekend. At all. Hubby says I'm acting like he's the enemy. The party was all right, Miss KT had a good time after she got over her disappointment at the cake disaster. My knee is hurting, and I'm tired after having to take pain medications at 2 am and not getting to sleep till 3 am. It's been poopy around here, and I'm glad it's over.
 

mstang67chic

Going Green
I HATE trying to make those "specialtiy" cakes. I found a simple sounding recipe/instructions in a magazine once for a pokemon cake. difficult child was turning 10, it was his first birthday with us so I wanted to go all out.

*snort*


I was still working on the cake when the gazillion people I had invited started showing up. When difficult child looked at the final product, he said "It's Pikachu!....But he looks dead." And then a WEEK later, my step-mom called me laughing. She had just found a Pikachu shaped cake pan. :slap:


Maybe you are PMS'ing but still....you just had knee surgery and shouldn't HAVE to be doing all this stuff. At least not without some cooperation and help.

Come hang out here...we'll sit out back with some frozen drinks, put our feet up and watch my difficult child have a fit because I'm making him hang his ginormous laundry loads on the line. *giggle*
 
Top