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That sick feeling in my stomach
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 464656" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am glad you are so well versed with the laws and intricacies of special education. You most certainly are NOT a pest, you are a Warrior Mom!!! </p><p></p><p>While the principal may be ABLE to do this over-ride of the team, it is certainly NOT in his, the schools, or your son's best interest. I wonder what a civil rights atty would say about his actions? I know that sometimes principals are just too in love with power and they exercise it in ways guaranteed to cause problems, often just because they can or are PMSing (not just for women - my mother says it also stands for Permanent Man Syndrome, lol but not totally joking with this type of power play behavior) or it gives them some thrill or other.</p><p></p><p>I know that MWM got the civil rights section of her state board of ed involved and got some great results. It might be worth a phone call or three to find out what the state board of ed and/or state and district superintendent of education and school boards think of a principal who goes in, days later, and imposes punishment on a disabled child who cannot help his actions because he has a serious brain injury? At the very least they will be aware of the way this would look in the media if you were able to get attention called to it. Given your experience in sp ed, it seems you likely have some impressive community contacts. Not just other educators, former students and their families also are useful connections when something like this happens.</p><p></p><p>Being the child of educators, I have seen the best and worst of many who work in schools. Some feel that if they are not flexing their power they are not doing their job. In your son's case, it sounds like everything was handled appropriately and then this man tromped all over everything.</p><p></p><p>What you have to look forward to if you don't stop this is juvie. He will begin to call the police on your child and will press charges. It is happening more and more and more and in my opinion is just wrong in most cases. First of all, go to the state school board and ask how to handle this. Ask how this is handled because your child is protected by an IEP and is NOT supposed to be punished for behaviors that are a manifestation of his illness and that is EXACTLY what the principal is doing. You have provided MORE than enough proof of his disabilities. Also contact NAMI and various groups who advocate for the disabled. If you let this go on with-o challenging it, it will just get worse. Even if you can't stop this one suspension, you can make the man see that it is unwise to rile the Warrior Momma Bear by violating her child's rights. Heck, for the fun of it, call the school district's attorney and ask if he would support this action of the principal. YOU won't have to pay the man - the school will, probably out of the principal's budget depending on the arrangement, and as this IS a violation of your son's protection under IDEA, well, if he is halfway decent the atty will try to at least tone the principal down so that the school doesn't have its' fanny hanging out there begging for swift kick.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes it isn't just knowing the rules, it is figuring out who to approach to make the difficult person see how very expensive this action might be - financially, politically and career-wise. people who get lawyers upset and various advocacy groups involved in a negative way often do not get the good promotions and assignments. So often we are used to using one system to handle an issue, in your case the special education system through the school, that we forget that there are other systems that can also be helpful.</p><p></p><p>If the suspension stands, how can you make it a really good day for your son, NOT a day of punishment? As the behavior is as much under difficult child's control as coughing or getting the flu is, there is not reason for him to have a day of punishment. What did he want to do over the summer but you couldn't because it would be too crowded or hot or whatever? What does he like to do? Plan to spend at least part of the day doing that - not to overstimulate him or get him thrown too far out of his routine, but to let him know that htis is NOT his fault and that in no way do you or the IEP team blame him. If nothing else, what sensory activities are calming but maybe you haven't done in a while? If you want ideas and/or haven't read it, The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Kranowitz is amazing (ALL my kids and my husband and I love the activities in it, and I have done a lot of them with my kids' classes at parties, etc... because they just are fun for all, not just a child with challenges, Know what I mean??)</p><p></p><p>I do think it is important to invite this principal to the IEP meetings if he will come. If not, maybe a letter from your son's neurologist or other specialist would carry some weight? We had one principal who ignored everything written up by a psychologist, sp ed teacher/expert, etc... but a letter or call from a doctor who specialized in "hard science", meaning not psychiatry or psychology, carried a lot of weight. Just another avenue that might get through to him.</p><p></p><p>I hope the principal backs down and that if he doesn't, you can manage to have a good day with your difficult child and not let this put him into a tailspin. Your difficult child has had way more than his share of hard knocks and does NOT deserve this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 464656, member: 1233"] I am glad you are so well versed with the laws and intricacies of special education. You most certainly are NOT a pest, you are a Warrior Mom!!! While the principal may be ABLE to do this over-ride of the team, it is certainly NOT in his, the schools, or your son's best interest. I wonder what a civil rights atty would say about his actions? I know that sometimes principals are just too in love with power and they exercise it in ways guaranteed to cause problems, often just because they can or are PMSing (not just for women - my mother says it also stands for Permanent Man Syndrome, lol but not totally joking with this type of power play behavior) or it gives them some thrill or other. I know that MWM got the civil rights section of her state board of ed involved and got some great results. It might be worth a phone call or three to find out what the state board of ed and/or state and district superintendent of education and school boards think of a principal who goes in, days later, and imposes punishment on a disabled child who cannot help his actions because he has a serious brain injury? At the very least they will be aware of the way this would look in the media if you were able to get attention called to it. Given your experience in sp ed, it seems you likely have some impressive community contacts. Not just other educators, former students and their families also are useful connections when something like this happens. Being the child of educators, I have seen the best and worst of many who work in schools. Some feel that if they are not flexing their power they are not doing their job. In your son's case, it sounds like everything was handled appropriately and then this man tromped all over everything. What you have to look forward to if you don't stop this is juvie. He will begin to call the police on your child and will press charges. It is happening more and more and more and in my opinion is just wrong in most cases. First of all, go to the state school board and ask how to handle this. Ask how this is handled because your child is protected by an IEP and is NOT supposed to be punished for behaviors that are a manifestation of his illness and that is EXACTLY what the principal is doing. You have provided MORE than enough proof of his disabilities. Also contact NAMI and various groups who advocate for the disabled. If you let this go on with-o challenging it, it will just get worse. Even if you can't stop this one suspension, you can make the man see that it is unwise to rile the Warrior Momma Bear by violating her child's rights. Heck, for the fun of it, call the school district's attorney and ask if he would support this action of the principal. YOU won't have to pay the man - the school will, probably out of the principal's budget depending on the arrangement, and as this IS a violation of your son's protection under IDEA, well, if he is halfway decent the atty will try to at least tone the principal down so that the school doesn't have its' fanny hanging out there begging for swift kick. Sometimes it isn't just knowing the rules, it is figuring out who to approach to make the difficult person see how very expensive this action might be - financially, politically and career-wise. people who get lawyers upset and various advocacy groups involved in a negative way often do not get the good promotions and assignments. So often we are used to using one system to handle an issue, in your case the special education system through the school, that we forget that there are other systems that can also be helpful. If the suspension stands, how can you make it a really good day for your son, NOT a day of punishment? As the behavior is as much under difficult child's control as coughing or getting the flu is, there is not reason for him to have a day of punishment. What did he want to do over the summer but you couldn't because it would be too crowded or hot or whatever? What does he like to do? Plan to spend at least part of the day doing that - not to overstimulate him or get him thrown too far out of his routine, but to let him know that htis is NOT his fault and that in no way do you or the IEP team blame him. If nothing else, what sensory activities are calming but maybe you haven't done in a while? If you want ideas and/or haven't read it, The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Kranowitz is amazing (ALL my kids and my husband and I love the activities in it, and I have done a lot of them with my kids' classes at parties, etc... because they just are fun for all, not just a child with challenges, Know what I mean??) I do think it is important to invite this principal to the IEP meetings if he will come. If not, maybe a letter from your son's neurologist or other specialist would carry some weight? We had one principal who ignored everything written up by a psychologist, sp ed teacher/expert, etc... but a letter or call from a doctor who specialized in "hard science", meaning not psychiatry or psychology, carried a lot of weight. Just another avenue that might get through to him. I hope the principal backs down and that if he doesn't, you can manage to have a good day with your difficult child and not let this put him into a tailspin. Your difficult child has had way more than his share of hard knocks and does NOT deserve this. [/QUOTE]
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