The 2 duffle bags

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Feb 18, 2012.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The two large duffle bags difficult child came out of Department of Juvenile Justice with are full of brand new clothes. No one knows where they came from- the coordinator at the detention center didn't know what was in there and said difficult child arrived from the Department of Juvenile Justice facillity with them but difficult child told them he had no idea what was in there either. The duffle bags don't have tags on them but appear brand new too. I don't think this is something Department of Juvenile Justice has started doing for the kids so the only thing I can figure is that this came from reentry because they thought difficult child was going to a GH. They must do this in those cases because most of those boys have no family or anyone to buy them street clothes. So what should I do with them? I really don't want to call reentry lady and ask her. Should I call the GH?
     
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    K--

    Say nothing... Set them aside and if anybody comes looking for them you can hand them over. Otherwise, I think you are just stirring up more problems for folks who clearly don't seem to be able to keep track of things as it is...
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I agree in a way but I feel bad that some other boy needs them worse than difficult child and won't be getting them.
     
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Maybe--but that's not your issue right now...

    You need to focus on yourself and your OWN son right now. You need to look cooperative and conciliatory. Pointing out yet another screw-up doesn't sound wise...
     
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh- LOL! I never looked at it like that but I see your point. I guess it could be taken that way. I'll just stick them aside.

    I didn't look thru everything- I just opened a corner enough to see what sort of stuff was in there- maybe I should open them both all the way and see if there's something indicating where they came from before I make the assumption that they came from reentry. It would be nice if Department of Juvenile Justice started doing this, meaning he could keep them b//c they were really meant for him under any circumstances.
     
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Are they difficult child's size? It could be they were meant for him. I think sticking them aside is probably the best answer but if they are his size I'd probably ask the coordinator "should I assume these are difficult children and use them or just keeping them aside in case they belong to someone else?" Then, of course, I would enter the time, and date of that converation in my trusty records.

    My guess is (if they are the right size) that they were/are intended for difficult child and if suitable it could save you quite a few bucks. DDD
     
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I haven't even pulled the duffle bags out of the car yet because it's been raining and cold since I picked them up Thurs night and they are heavy, but I'll get them out today and then hold a pair of jeans up and see if they look like they could fit difficult child. They were meant for him because they have a paper with his name on it taped to the outside of each bag. They couldn't have come from someone outside the "system" because no one is allowed to send things to Department of Juvenile Justice for a kid like that. When a kid goes into Department of Juvenile Justice, they even send the clothes they wore in back to the parent. I just don't know if they were meant for him only because they thought he was going to GH. That's what I'd feel guilty about- that someone spent time and money for a boy thinking he had no family to do for him and that could be taking them from another boy who needs them more and has nothing else to look forward or make him smile upon release from Department of Juvenile Justice. (Like angel tree Christmas gifts for a child- I wouldn't feel right taking/keeping it when I can do for my child and another child is going without.) But yes, it would save me at least a couple hundred dollars.
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I totally agree to look through them, then set them aside until someone asks you about them or difficult child is home. DON"T go ask "where did all these clothes come from? I can buy clothes, some other kid needs these." Just let them be teh Basket C or D or Z item until/unless someone asks.

    I DO think you should go through them to make SURE there is NO contraband of ANY type. IF they do ask for them back, and you haven't gone through them, they can claim taht there was a knife or drugs or whatever in there. I am paranoid about that, but I also know a guy who was a PO and he and his buddies did that all the time if they thought someone needed to be in prison and they couldn't prove something or they just didn't like someone. Not give them a bag of clothes, but set them up to be caught with contraband.

    I would take photos of everything that is in the bags, and then put them back in for now. Just pull the clothes out, spread them out around the room and take photos with your phone or whatever. Jsut so you can PROVE that you gave it all back if needed, and to show that you found no contraband so if any is found, well, you are CYA.

    BYW, I do know that not all PO's do that. I just knew a guy who admitted to doing it. Of course he also cheated on his wife, refused accommodations for his autistic son, and was a general not very trustworthy individual.
     
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I do understand the sentiments BUT :groan:I absolutely would not have any contact with GH or the personnel involved. No way. No how. That painful chapter is past and by jove that's where it needs to stay.

    Besides this is part of government. The Requisition was processed, the Purchase Order was authorized and by now the check has been processed with all required documentation. Can you imagine what it would entail to "undo" all the procedures? Yikes!

    with-o exaggeration and with my hand in a sworn position I'm telling you that it took six weeks to get a twenty cent error cleared up with the Dept. of Corrections. I undercharged them 20 cents when they paid with a credit card. They literally could not process the difference between the PO and the Invoice.
    I said "no problem..ha ha..you got a deal" NOPE I said "How about I write you a twenty cent credit on a supplemental invoice using the PO so it matches?" NOPE It took hours of my time and the whole sale was under $50.

    DDD
     
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    DDD, you know I'm giggling here! That's EXACTLY what I spent the last 24 years doing - contending with all that mess in a Dept. of Correction business office! The State's purchasing systems, bill paying systems and inventory systems are so cumbersome and so complicated, you sometimes get things done in spite of them and not because of them! It's a miracle we got anything done! And I can easily see how a 20 cent discrepancy could turn in to a six-week long nightmare!

    And about the duffle bags full of clothes ... we also worked with the warehouse system that issued everything to the institution including clothing items. And believe me, once you were issued something - it's YOURS! No way are you giving it back! We didn't care what they did with it but they're keeping it! If something isn't right, we'll issue you another one and then you will have two of them, but NO WAY is that thing coming back in to the system! It's a paperwork nightmare just to buy the items, receive the items, and then enter the items into the inventory system. Once the item is issued to someone, I don't think there even was a procedure in place to return it, and just to try would be a paperwork explosion of monumental proportions! So just KEEP the duffle bags of clothing! I seriously doubt if they will ever ask for them back. Just put them in a closet and leave them on the off-chance that they were given to him in error and were meant for someone else. They probably do this for every kid in the same circumstances and if his name was on the bags there's not much chance that it was a mistake. And even if it was a mistake, it's not your responsibility to straighten it out for them. If they were meant for someone else (not likely), you have no way of knowing that. No one will go without clothing. They will just get two more duffle bags full of clothing and give it to them!
     
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    well, I think you all have talked me into just hanging on to them and not saying anything now. I have a major pet peeve about taking things meant for those in need if a person really isn't struggling for needs and I have a big guilt issue but I'll just keep my mouth shut for now. I won't tell difficult child what was in there, unless he asks, and that way it won't be any problem with himor anyone should someone bring it up and asked for them back. I will gladly return them if they were only meant for him if he was going to the GH. I had saved money for his clothes, as well as a bed, in the event he was coming home. I didn't go ahead and buy clothes because I wasn't sure of the size. He still has clothes from when he was home before and I got those cleaned and ready but he would have needed more jeans because I'm sure he's grown taller.

    ETA: I looked thru the stuff and the clothes are difficult child's sizes but there are also sheets and towels in there so clearly it was meant for a kid growing to a GH. I find this ironic because the GH's website asks for charity for this stuff and then the parental agreement requires parents to provide clothing so who knows what source this came from. If no one comes back for these things, I'll just donate the stuff that difficult child doesn't need or can't use to another boys' charity. That should releive some of my guilt over it. LOL!
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2012
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    :bravo: DDD
     
  13. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Well, when he gets out, if doesn't need the clothes or he can't wear them, you could always donate them to the Good Will or the Salvation Army or a homeless shelter. That way they won't go to waste and will go to someone who needs them.
     
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    If nothing else, freecycle them when you figure out what he can/can't use. Don't feel guilty - a couple of dufffel bags of clothes are not NEARLY what them keeping him these extra days/weeks/months is worth. Not even if it was just the 2 day delay while PO tried to figure out how NOT to pull his head out of the place he stuck it.
     
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