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The adult child who left is back...sort of...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 615450" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I had one last thought to add and it's rather sad.</p><p></p><p>I know a lot of people who have adopted older children as well as infants, both locally and overseas. I have been in an adoptive parent group for at least twenty years so I am kind of a veteran there. </p><p></p><p>There are VERY FEW parents who have good relationships with their older adopted children. It just is very rare. Adopted as babies, yes. Adopted as older kids, some have difficult child-type relationships where the kids get into trouble and want Dad and Mom to bail them out. Some have abusive relationships. Some have seen their kids walk, like S. did, but since most of those children are not able to support themselves either emotionally or monetarily, like S. can, and since so many are substance abusers, my situation is a little odd because S. is so successful on the surface. Still, it seems, by all I've seen, for unusual for older children adoptions to really have loving, uncomplicated relationships with their parents. In that way, S. is not unusual. For that reason, I am sorry I put my heart out there and loved this child as much as I did and still do. And I try to warn other potential adoptees to consider adopting a baby. The attachment is broken in children who are adopted at older ages.</p><p></p><p>I am aware that there are some happy endings. It just seems that most of the time that is not the case.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 615450, member: 1550"] I had one last thought to add and it's rather sad. I know a lot of people who have adopted older children as well as infants, both locally and overseas. I have been in an adoptive parent group for at least twenty years so I am kind of a veteran there. There are VERY FEW parents who have good relationships with their older adopted children. It just is very rare. Adopted as babies, yes. Adopted as older kids, some have difficult child-type relationships where the kids get into trouble and want Dad and Mom to bail them out. Some have abusive relationships. Some have seen their kids walk, like S. did, but since most of those children are not able to support themselves either emotionally or monetarily, like S. can, and since so many are substance abusers, my situation is a little odd because S. is so successful on the surface. Still, it seems, by all I've seen, for unusual for older children adoptions to really have loving, uncomplicated relationships with their parents. In that way, S. is not unusual. For that reason, I am sorry I put my heart out there and loved this child as much as I did and still do. And I try to warn other potential adoptees to consider adopting a baby. The attachment is broken in children who are adopted at older ages. I am aware that there are some happy endings. It just seems that most of the time that is not the case. [/QUOTE]
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