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The Anti-Christmas
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 319090" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I think that once our kids are grown and have their own families, we have every right to determine how to spend our holidays. And if that is home doing what we'd do any other day, that's our business, our right, we've earned it.</p><p>Christmas can be so stressful. I don't think I'd even stress if people were upset. If you express to them it is NOT personal to kids, grandkids, extended family etc, and that rather it is personal to YOU (your choice, your needs etc) then you've done all you can do.</p><p>I have to say I love Christmas. But I love it because I enjoy making it special for my kids. As they are getting older, now that Santa is done, I have started to enjoy different things than I used to. I enjoy the delicious food and I enjoy cooking it myself. But I don't really enjoy cooking for extended family, just those here at home. I stopped gift giving in my family and S/O's family years ago. I was honest with others, that for me its more money than I can afford, it is stressful shopping, it is tiring getting them delivered, and it is not the point to me of the holidays so why am I stressing it? I think the first year I wasn't quite believed, and noses were out of joint. Over time everyone seems to have followed my lead and they seem to enjoy their holiday more. </p><p></p><p>I do love decorations but I do less each year. When the kids are grown and gone, I plan to maintain putting up a small decorated tree (I love the lights sparkling) and a poinsetta on my table. </p><p></p><p>S/O and I only exchanged 2 small gifts last year. It was enough. We will maintain that. We always exchange pj's and we will buy one special thing for each other (a book, a DVD, something small that we can enjoy on Christmas day). The kids are getting used to scaling back on gifts. We focus on time together, the 4 of us. Movie outtings, favorite foods, spending time together. When the kids are grown I intend to have a tradition of one nice gift per child. </p><p></p><p>I think you should be enjoying your life and when something isn't pleasurable to you, you should change it to what makes you happy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 319090, member: 4264"] I think that once our kids are grown and have their own families, we have every right to determine how to spend our holidays. And if that is home doing what we'd do any other day, that's our business, our right, we've earned it. Christmas can be so stressful. I don't think I'd even stress if people were upset. If you express to them it is NOT personal to kids, grandkids, extended family etc, and that rather it is personal to YOU (your choice, your needs etc) then you've done all you can do. I have to say I love Christmas. But I love it because I enjoy making it special for my kids. As they are getting older, now that Santa is done, I have started to enjoy different things than I used to. I enjoy the delicious food and I enjoy cooking it myself. But I don't really enjoy cooking for extended family, just those here at home. I stopped gift giving in my family and S/O's family years ago. I was honest with others, that for me its more money than I can afford, it is stressful shopping, it is tiring getting them delivered, and it is not the point to me of the holidays so why am I stressing it? I think the first year I wasn't quite believed, and noses were out of joint. Over time everyone seems to have followed my lead and they seem to enjoy their holiday more. I do love decorations but I do less each year. When the kids are grown and gone, I plan to maintain putting up a small decorated tree (I love the lights sparkling) and a poinsetta on my table. S/O and I only exchanged 2 small gifts last year. It was enough. We will maintain that. We always exchange pj's and we will buy one special thing for each other (a book, a DVD, something small that we can enjoy on Christmas day). The kids are getting used to scaling back on gifts. We focus on time together, the 4 of us. Movie outtings, favorite foods, spending time together. When the kids are grown I intend to have a tradition of one nice gift per child. I think you should be enjoying your life and when something isn't pleasurable to you, you should change it to what makes you happy. [/QUOTE]
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