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<blockquote data-quote="AmericanGirl" data-source="post: 590189" data-attributes="member: 15812"><p>Hi Nancy,</p><p></p><p>I understand your point and I thank you for your willingness to be totally honest with me. I need that. difficult child needs that.</p><p></p><p>I may be wrong about the phone. Two thoughts:</p><p></p><p>1. I've never taken it before (since all this rehab, sober house, etc. started) and I think he is the type who has to be all alone with nothing before he 'gets' it. This is the same kid who, for some unknown reason, has commented, "I don't need anything. I could be homeless." since he was 15 or so. That's just not normal.</p><p></p><p>2. If, after I took it, I didn't find out that most the texts were about buying/selling/using, then I might have been inclined to return it. He is using it to find pot and to facilitate the sell of pot/adderalls/etc. So, I'm thinking the phone is an enabler.</p><p></p><p>Again, I may be wrong. The final thing is that I won't be tempted to look at what he is or isn't doing. I didn't take it for that reason but it is a help to me. Plus there is zero guarantee he would answer my calls.</p><p></p><p>I realize it will make finding work harder but I don't know what else to do. He told me he had a job but now it appears that may not be the case. If he came to me and asked for a phone, then that might be a different matter. </p><p></p><p>I value your friendship and hope you understand my reply. I wanted to share my thought pattern to see if I missed something.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AmericanGirl, post: 590189, member: 15812"] Hi Nancy, I understand your point and I thank you for your willingness to be totally honest with me. I need that. difficult child needs that. I may be wrong about the phone. Two thoughts: 1. I've never taken it before (since all this rehab, sober house, etc. started) and I think he is the type who has to be all alone with nothing before he 'gets' it. This is the same kid who, for some unknown reason, has commented, "I don't need anything. I could be homeless." since he was 15 or so. That's just not normal. 2. If, after I took it, I didn't find out that most the texts were about buying/selling/using, then I might have been inclined to return it. He is using it to find pot and to facilitate the sell of pot/adderalls/etc. So, I'm thinking the phone is an enabler. Again, I may be wrong. The final thing is that I won't be tempted to look at what he is or isn't doing. I didn't take it for that reason but it is a help to me. Plus there is zero guarantee he would answer my calls. I realize it will make finding work harder but I don't know what else to do. He told me he had a job but now it appears that may not be the case. If he came to me and asked for a phone, then that might be a different matter. I value your friendship and hope you understand my reply. I wanted to share my thought pattern to see if I missed something. [/QUOTE]
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