The Beginning

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lovingmama, Aug 25, 2010.

  1. lovingmama

    lovingmama Guest

    I have two sons who are three and a half years and four and a half years. My four y/o has had some behavior issues that have been worsening over the past year. I'm now at that overwhelmed "I'm out of ideas" point. My three y/o is starting mimic big brother's behavior. I talked to our family doctor about my concerns which were a page and a half long. He referred me to local facility that will do home family therapy. He feels my difficult child has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (I thought so, too, my 11 y/o niece battles this condition) and anxiety. My husband has always labeled our difficult child as a "bad" kid and has been verbally abusive which has, of course, worsened things. My husband did finally read an article about ODD and now understands that our difficult child is not intentionally defiant, he can't help it. This finally caused my husband to agree to therapy and parent management training. My 4y/o difficult child has Irritable Bowel Syndrome and encopresis also. He has only had a BM on the potty three times this year. I don't punish him. The first psychiatrist we talked to feels the soiling is due to anxiety, so I'm glad I haven't punished him as this probably would have made things even worse. We are now going to meet with someone new because the psychiatrist we were referred to doesn't feel my difficult child needs medication and their psychologist is on maternity leave. Our first appointment at their facility is tomorrow. Hoping for some help very soon. In the meantime, I'm focusing on the positives about my difficult child and trying to reward good behavior instead of focusing on the bad. I just wanted to introduce myself and my situation.
     
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Welcome to the crowd - it's a great group of people here and you'll gain a lot of wisdom from their experience! Make sure to hop around to other forums within the group and see what goes on. The Watercooler is a great place to go so that you can let your hair down with all of us!

    I'm cautious when it comes to ODD and ADHD diagnosis's in little ones. Often times they are symptoms of a different diagnosis. The reason I say this is that both difficult child 1 and 3 were diagnosis'd with both and it turned out that they had Aspergers Syndrome. Now that we know what's going on, we've gotten a better "plan of attack" going on here.

    Check with a really good developmental pediatrician or neuropsychologist for testing. If they don't diagnose, they will at least be able to "rule out" some stuff.

    Gotta go! Gramma just showed up with a boat load of clothes for difficult child 3 and she keeps flashing me (gotta love the try on clothes syndrome! ugh!!!!!).

    Again, welcome to the group!

    Beth
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I'm not a big fan of ODD either. It's unhelpful. I would suggest taking him to a neuropsychologist so that you can get better answers than "he is defiant" which you already know. What you DON'T know is WHY he is defiant. Like the other poster, I'm leery of ADHD/ODD as this combo so often changes as the kids get older...it turns out to be a duo misdiagnosois.
     
  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    in my opinion, ODD is a symptom, NOT a diagnosis. I look at it this way. Let's say I go to see the doctor because my tailbone hurts. He says I have coxxydynia and gives me some pain pills.

    Well, I just got told in medical-ese that my tailbone hurts, and I got some medicine for the pain. BUT, I got no help in managing the symptoms nor in trying to track down WHY my taibone is hurting and what to do about it beyond treating the pain.

    It turns out my tailbone hurts because I fractured it several years ago and damaged my sacrum where it attaches. My chiropractor takes all this into consideration, adjusts my sacrum and tailbone.

    NOW, we are talking! The CAUSE is being treated, not just the symptom.

    ODD is a catchall basket of symptoms, and ADHD is being more and more considered to be part of a spectrum disorder that can include all sorts of symptoms. Kids with plain vanilla ADHD do not as a rule rage. They may get frustrated. They may "pitch a fit", but if they are raging, you are, in my humble opinion, probably looking at more that just ADHD
     
  5. lovingmama

    lovingmama Guest

    Thanks so much for all the info. My family doctor was concerned about ODD. We've been seeing a social worker for a month now and she wants him to have a sensory assessment to check for Sensory Processing Disorder. After doing some research, it sure seems to fit. Especially since some behaviors have been present since he was an infant. It sure helped to know ODD is more of an indication of another condition. I think I would've been overwhelmed to hear son had a possible sensory processing disorder (SPD) if I didn't know that ODD is a symptom. I've been reading some posts by moms who have children with sensory processing disorder (SPD) and it's like they're posting my mothering experiences. Thanks again to all of you!
     
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Don't narrow your search too much! I'd be tempted to look at high functioning autism, Asperger's syndrome and NonVerbal Learning Disorder. There are so many things that cross-over one another that it could be several different things. I love the fact that you're searching - it really will help him AND you!

    I'm glad you stopped by again!

    Beth
     
  7. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    NVTS brings up some very good points. Spectrum kids are more likely to have sensory issues and those can be a marker of sorts. I'm on the spectrum (diagnosis-ed too late to tell for sure if I'm Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/Asperger's/High-Functioning Autism (HFA) at this point I've learned to fake normal pretty well.

    I'm also bipolar, which complicates issues even further.
     
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