How the educating of children towards sex, bodies, love and families is done seems pretty family specific. I'm pretty direct and I'm not embarrassed by body parts. Teaching difficult child and easy child was unique to them. They learned and processed differently.
In the younger years I took my cues from the boys. I did tell easy child that if he asked questions that I would tell him the truth.
I asked difficult child in 3rd or 4th grade if we needed the s*x talk? He said "it's like breeding, right?" I loved it. Very factual but that's what he needed at the moment. The science of sex is the same for all living creatures.
As they got closer to puberty the books helped answer questions they were too uncomfortable to ask. It was a great resource. I would see them reading them at different times in their lives because as the issues popped up they could go back and re educate themselves. Gave them a sense of mastery?
At some time during puberty, it was time for mom to be a resource and not too involved in their body's progression.
I think the key is to not make it just "the talk" but a lifelong dialogue. Before difficult child went away to school post high school, I had a conversation about STD's and protection. If he had caught something, I wanted to make sure it wasn't because of my discomfort. I even showed difficult child where to buy protection. That conversation was done in the car and driving on the highway, so they couldn't escape. : ) husband considered abstinence after that conversation.
These talks about the physical aspects of sexuality is always part of the overall talk about respect for one's own body and for those they hold dear and the "no means no". Love is sprinkled in there and the creation of families and what happens if they create a life. There are consequences.
In the younger years they seem to process the mechanics of sex. When they are older the emotional part is better processed even if it seems that boys still are always interested in the mechanics.
Try to keep it light and don't squirm. You want to keep sex and sexuality in a positive light and not dirty.
I never got a talk from parents and was very appreciative of the movie about girl's bodies that was shown in school. Eventually, I learned to find the info about sexuality in books. It was less biased in the end anyhow.
Good luck.
Fran - I believe you and I have very similar opinions on how to handle the 'birds & the bee's'.
What books did you give them?
I'd like to get something for ds13, but no clue which one, as there is so many out there. I want the facts, truths, and realities for him. I've given him just about as much open talks as can be at this age, and until he becomes sexually active, I think we are on a stand still. I know some talks he's gotten a little pink in the cheeks (embarrassment?) but we kept chugging along on the topic.
I could ask his Dad to have a talk (we are divorced, but ds13 and dd10 see dad regularly) with him also, but I really don't know how that will fly, and also if we are on the same page as for what type of info to share (in my opinion, no question will go unanswered for ds13 from me) and I don't feel like quizzing ds to see if Dad answered all his questions or gave him real answers, so I'd rather do it myself or with factual books (or informative).
by the way, on this topic, I can share here: ds13 took home the Interactive Baby a month or two ago, and took the entire class. At the end of the class, he brought home an Abstinence Vow
, he carefully handed it for me to sign after he signed it, telling me the teacher said it was optional, but after having that baby one night, he DOES NOT want to even think about having sex! (Can't that attitude last until he's married!?!? lol) I was/am proud of him, but also know, teenage boys have hormones, and that can change on a whim.
