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General Parenting
The blame game
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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 534418"><p>This sounds like difficult child 1. He was insanely jealous of difficult child 2. Whispering really nasty things to him, trying to hurt him, blaming him for everything. Its been a long road with lots of therapists for difficult child 1 and for difficult child 2. No one thing worked it was the combined 'try-everything-we-can' approach that after years of working on this issue we've made progress. One thing we did was to stop whispering. If difficult child 1 was talking and I couldn't hear what he was saying I called him into the room with me. If one of the other kids started crying and we couldn't figure out why difficult child 1 had to be right by me. It was a guilty until proven innocent approach that went against all my thoughts of what fair is. We also challenged every time he would blame his siblings for something. He still blames them, but know he can verbalize (when challenged) that his siblings didn't do it. It might have been.... He blames them much less now too. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if your difficult child does this but with difficult child 1 the blaming was directly linked to the amount of aggression. We couldn't just let difficult child 1 continue in the false beliefs or the aggression increased.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 534418"] This sounds like difficult child 1. He was insanely jealous of difficult child 2. Whispering really nasty things to him, trying to hurt him, blaming him for everything. Its been a long road with lots of therapists for difficult child 1 and for difficult child 2. No one thing worked it was the combined 'try-everything-we-can' approach that after years of working on this issue we've made progress. One thing we did was to stop whispering. If difficult child 1 was talking and I couldn't hear what he was saying I called him into the room with me. If one of the other kids started crying and we couldn't figure out why difficult child 1 had to be right by me. It was a guilty until proven innocent approach that went against all my thoughts of what fair is. We also challenged every time he would blame his siblings for something. He still blames them, but know he can verbalize (when challenged) that his siblings didn't do it. It might have been.... He blames them much less now too. I don't know if your difficult child does this but with difficult child 1 the blaming was directly linked to the amount of aggression. We couldn't just let difficult child 1 continue in the false beliefs or the aggression increased. [/QUOTE]
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The blame game
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