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Parent Emeritus
The blue in his eyes are no longer
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 744487" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My daughter was doing drugs and sneaking out as we slept, thinking she was safe. She jimmied her window and ran around with druggies at night. She was NOT safe in our home. She was high in our home and out in the streets when we thought she was sleeping.</p><p></p><p>At age 19, after she batted her eyes and convinced us she was now clean (we thougjt all she did was pot anyway), we took a two day vacation with our littles to a swim hotel and proved our trust in her by letting her stay home to care for our dogs.</p><p></p><p>The littles got bored so we ended up coming home early. Guess what we found? Our 19 year old beautiful, smart daughter was having a pill party in our home with many scary looking teens lying around with red eyes.</p><p></p><p>We called the cops and told Daughter she had to leave. The littles were scared and crying and enough was enough. She was very lucky that her grumpy brother agreed to drive to Wisconsin, take her to his house in Illinois, and give her his basement. But she had to work, pay rent, cook and clean for him and his roommates. He is a straight arrow. One cigarette, he told her, in his house and she would be homeless. And she was not into being homeless. She listened.</p><p></p><p>By 20 she was the manager of a Subway where she worked and had a boyfriend who helped her kick meth and coke and she is still with him. I don't like everything about him but for that I will always be greatful.</p><p></p><p>My daughter and I are very close in spite of being told to leave. She grew up and never lived with us again and they support themselves.</p><p></p><p>This method doesnt work for all but it did for us. And we had NO idea how unsafe our daughter was in OUR home. She told all after she quit. My jaw hit the floor. We thought she had a warm bed and she was actually out with druggies getting high on the streets at night. Real safe.</p><p></p><p>You may think your son is safe when home and maybe he is. All I know is my daughter was not and neither were we because her scary "friends" could have done who knows what to us all.</p><p></p><p>We cant save our adult kids, even at 19. Only they can. If they want to do dangerous stuff they will, whether they live with us or not. And put US in danger too and our other family members.</p><p></p><p>I understand the worry. I worried about my daughter all the time. I cried buckets. But I was in therapy and Al Anon and knew I couldnt save her. She saved herself. She is one of my heroes. I have brave kids.</p><p></p><p>Well, thats just my story. Maybe you gained some perspective. If you found it unhelpful, thats fine too.</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 744487, member: 1550"] My daughter was doing drugs and sneaking out as we slept, thinking she was safe. She jimmied her window and ran around with druggies at night. She was NOT safe in our home. She was high in our home and out in the streets when we thought she was sleeping. At age 19, after she batted her eyes and convinced us she was now clean (we thougjt all she did was pot anyway), we took a two day vacation with our littles to a swim hotel and proved our trust in her by letting her stay home to care for our dogs. The littles got bored so we ended up coming home early. Guess what we found? Our 19 year old beautiful, smart daughter was having a pill party in our home with many scary looking teens lying around with red eyes. We called the cops and told Daughter she had to leave. The littles were scared and crying and enough was enough. She was very lucky that her grumpy brother agreed to drive to Wisconsin, take her to his house in Illinois, and give her his basement. But she had to work, pay rent, cook and clean for him and his roommates. He is a straight arrow. One cigarette, he told her, in his house and she would be homeless. And she was not into being homeless. She listened. By 20 she was the manager of a Subway where she worked and had a boyfriend who helped her kick meth and coke and she is still with him. I don't like everything about him but for that I will always be greatful. My daughter and I are very close in spite of being told to leave. She grew up and never lived with us again and they support themselves. This method doesnt work for all but it did for us. And we had NO idea how unsafe our daughter was in OUR home. She told all after she quit. My jaw hit the floor. We thought she had a warm bed and she was actually out with druggies getting high on the streets at night. Real safe. You may think your son is safe when home and maybe he is. All I know is my daughter was not and neither were we because her scary "friends" could have done who knows what to us all. We cant save our adult kids, even at 19. Only they can. If they want to do dangerous stuff they will, whether they live with us or not. And put US in danger too and our other family members. I understand the worry. I worried about my daughter all the time. I cried buckets. But I was in therapy and Al Anon and knew I couldnt save her. She saved herself. She is one of my heroes. I have brave kids. Well, thats just my story. Maybe you gained some perspective. If you found it unhelpful, thats fine too. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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