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The calm after the storm...feels kind of blah
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 607918" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Good morning Cedar. Once again, I can identify with what you're saying. For me, months after the war ended and I pretty much cleaned out the emotional debris, I was in that exact place you describe. What do you do with yourself now? It's like soldiers coming back from combat, geez, one day you're in battle, then you have a tiny bit of time to decompress, then you're back in a "normal" reality. I don't think so.</p><p></p><p>You've been in combat for many, many years with both your kids. I've lived in the world of mental illness most of my life. This is not the usual re-entry into real life after our kids grow up...............this is an entirely new existence which requires care and nurturing and time.</p><p></p><p>I looked at it like a practice, a new beginning, a new life which required great care. We haven't tended to focus on ourselves at all, so this is a new concept completely. Without others to care for and think about all the time, there are huge gaps of time and huge amounts of mental and emotional energy that is suddenly OURS.</p><p></p><p>I'm still in this re-entry myself, and how I am dealing with it is to ask myself what I LOVE to do. What do you LOVE? Make plans to do it and do it daily. </p><p></p><p>I am using all the money usually spent on difficult child requirements to do utterly carefree, unnecessary things. I have to say, it hasn't been all that easy. I have been so used to thinking in terms of impending tragedy, I have to sometimes force myself to shift my thoughts.</p><p></p><p>SO and I went away for the weekend and it was probably the best time I've had in a long time. Just the two of us. Not worried about coming home to the latest drama we spent the days <em>having fun</em>. Cedar, it's really retraining ourselves to stay right here in this moment, seize it and make sure we squeeze every bit of life out of it! Two days away and I feel so replenished, relaxed and happy. It's been a long road, but life once again has color and richness and joy.</p><p></p><p>Look into traveling if that makes you happy. I think for me, what really catapulted me out of that "blah" was finding a <em>vision for ME.</em> Which I mentioned to you, traveling to those places and staying for extended periods of time, learning about other places, other people.............SO and I have put together a whole fantasy of what that will be like..............after granddaughter graduates.............having a dream that is just mine has the power to keep me very happy and excited. Can you and your husband find a dream together? Something perhaps you wanted long ago that you put aside for the sake of the kids? Something you have thought about a lot but didn't think it was possible? </p><p></p><p>Give yourself some time to breathe and realize this chapter is over now. You have a whole life awaiting you.............keep resting, it takes awhile to really relax...............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 607918, member: 13542"] Good morning Cedar. Once again, I can identify with what you're saying. For me, months after the war ended and I pretty much cleaned out the emotional debris, I was in that exact place you describe. What do you do with yourself now? It's like soldiers coming back from combat, geez, one day you're in battle, then you have a tiny bit of time to decompress, then you're back in a "normal" reality. I don't think so. You've been in combat for many, many years with both your kids. I've lived in the world of mental illness most of my life. This is not the usual re-entry into real life after our kids grow up...............this is an entirely new existence which requires care and nurturing and time. I looked at it like a practice, a new beginning, a new life which required great care. We haven't tended to focus on ourselves at all, so this is a new concept completely. Without others to care for and think about all the time, there are huge gaps of time and huge amounts of mental and emotional energy that is suddenly OURS. I'm still in this re-entry myself, and how I am dealing with it is to ask myself what I LOVE to do. What do you LOVE? Make plans to do it and do it daily. I am using all the money usually spent on difficult child requirements to do utterly carefree, unnecessary things. I have to say, it hasn't been all that easy. I have been so used to thinking in terms of impending tragedy, I have to sometimes force myself to shift my thoughts. SO and I went away for the weekend and it was probably the best time I've had in a long time. Just the two of us. Not worried about coming home to the latest drama we spent the days [I]having fun[/I]. Cedar, it's really retraining ourselves to stay right here in this moment, seize it and make sure we squeeze every bit of life out of it! Two days away and I feel so replenished, relaxed and happy. It's been a long road, but life once again has color and richness and joy. Look into traveling if that makes you happy. I think for me, what really catapulted me out of that "blah" was finding a [I]vision for ME.[/I] Which I mentioned to you, traveling to those places and staying for extended periods of time, learning about other places, other people.............SO and I have put together a whole fantasy of what that will be like..............after granddaughter graduates.............having a dream that is just mine has the power to keep me very happy and excited. Can you and your husband find a dream together? Something perhaps you wanted long ago that you put aside for the sake of the kids? Something you have thought about a lot but didn't think it was possible? Give yourself some time to breathe and realize this chapter is over now. You have a whole life awaiting you.............keep resting, it takes awhile to really relax............... [/QUOTE]
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The calm after the storm...feels kind of blah
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