The clean house thing...

[jbrain]

Yeah, I've been thinking about this. I think I am getting worse about worrying about people coming over. It isn't just the house being clean, it is everything--the clutter, the unmatched furniture, the way my husband hung the pictures on the walls (but we wouldn't have any pics on the walls if he didn't hang them), the way the walls need painting, the shredded curtains that are hanging in the dining room, the weird wallpaper in the kitchen, etc. It doesn't help that difficult child 2/easy child comments on how awful our "decorating" is either. It doesn't help that I watch HGTV and see how much our house needs "updating" on top of everything else.

Part of the problem is money--we don't have the money to spend the thousands we need to spend on new carpet, new furniture, etc.

A big part of the problem though is that I am kind of oblivious to my surroundings and like it that way. But then when I take the blinders off and see how the house would look to someone seeing it for the first time I think, "OMG, I can't have people over!" It isn't a "charming" sort of clutter like other people have, it is a weird sort of clutter! I think I just don't care enough to do all the work that needs to be done. I'd rather read or go out for drinks and dancing, etc.

Any thoughts? I wonder if I am the only one....


Jane

 

[trinityroyal]

Jane, I don't think you're the only one who thinks and worries about this stuff.
However, I do think you're being much harder on yourself than others would be who visit your house.

I have ugly wallpaper, bad paint, wretched tile floors which won't come clean even when I pour straight bleach on them, etc. But I figure we'll get to that stuff eventually. The house is clean-ish, and kinda sorta uncluttered.

I guess the way I see it, if people are critical of the way my house looks, then they're not true friends and are not likely to be invited back.

Maybe you need to take a break from HGTV for a while...

Trinity

 

[flutterby]

Trying to measure your home against HGTV is like trying to measure your body against a supermodel. It's not realistic.

My furniture desperately needs replacing. I have artfully placed throws to cover shredding done by the cats. Furniture is mismatched. Clutter, animals, etc. But, everyone comments on how cozy and/or "homey" my home is. It's the ambiance, not the decor.

Oh - and I have horrid wallpaper in the hall bath and *pink* carpet in my bedroom.

 

[Abbey]

Pink carpet? I'm fainting.

 

[hearts and roses]

For years I worried about what my house looked like through the eyes of my visitors. Then I started to do something I'm not very proud of but it worked for me.

When visiting friends or acquiantances, I began looking at thier homes as if they were my own...what I would change, what I could live with, what's doable, what's not doable, etc. Once I began doing this, I realized that my house isn't so bad and, even better, the people who want to spend time with me, couldn't care less what my house looks like really and vice versa. I have a friend who has 5 kids ranging in age from 23 down to 14. Their house is always full of people and it's not perfect but usually looks very clean to me. She always laughs when I say that - she sees it through the homeowner's eyes. I guess I'm not really looking. lol

I mean, I keep a clean house. It can get cluttered just like everyone's, but for the most part, it's clean. I pass the vacuum twice weekly, mop weekly and sweep in between. We all tidy up intermittently and I keep clorox wipes in the bathroom for quick cleanups. The key for me was to figure out ways to de-clutter and do quick clean ups. I try do plan a 'spring' cleaning every seasonal change, i.e., spring equinox, summer solstice, autumnal equinox, and winter solstice. It works for me.

Bottom line, I don't think people really notice the things we do.

Oh, and I stopped checking out other people's homes...

 

[donna723]

Nah, you're not the only one! I very seldom have much company and it's usually just me here, so I tend to get a little 'casual'. I tend to just 'hole up' here, especially in the winter. My house is just little and not enough room to store everything. I have old-fashioned open-flame gas heaters and they tend to turn everything orange (like the tops of the curtains) and leave a film on everything. I have shelves and shelves of antique glassware and it does me absolutely no good to try to clean anything until I can turn the heat off for good in the spring. But the worst part is my old, horrible sofa with the stuffings hanging out! It's awful, but I plan to replace it, maybe next fall. I was hanging on to it because it's a sleeper sofa, but it's been years since I opened it up! It's just ugly-ugly-ugly!

But what really got me motivated to go on a 3-day cleaning binge was having a friend come over that I hadn't seen since high school! That did it! I even hand washed and dried every last piece of glassware on the shelves. I just threw something over the ugly sofa, and if it gave my friend nightmares, she was nice enough not to mention it!

 

[Abbey]

haha, Donna. Nightmares you could see here with all the birds. I just can't keep up or feel the need to do so. If I can walk around their crud, I'm good. H says just a few moments ago that we're both going to take the weekend off. No job hunting, no job for him so we can clean the bird's room. Yeah...sounds like a fun weekend. That's how bad it is.

Where is Raoul?

Abbey

 

[ShyChelle]

Wow I can some what relate. The biggest thing that is embarrassing is the almost 100 holes in the walls that difficult child provided. To fix them I would have to replace the sheet rock which costs money and experienced labor.

Sometimes we do all we can and let go of what we can't. or at least I try to...

 

[DramaQueenLucy]

No ones house is perfect...mine has clutter and always needs to be picked and I mean always...my boys can be home for less then 5 minutes and they leave trails...ugh

 

[gcvmom]

If it makes you feel any better, I've got weird, and clutter, and weird clutter, too. Like the 15" plastic marlin that husband got when he was a kid visiting Atlantic City in the 70's that's hanging in our diningroom. I have no idea why he feels it needs to be there. Nostalgia, I guess. Probably also why he decided to display all his school sports trophies in our bedroom after finding them in a box one day when we were cleaning out the garage.

The vast majority of our furnishings are mismatched. Initially it was due to financial constraints, but now it's totally about the practicality of life with difficult child's. Why pay big money for something that's going to be used and abused? I consequently have accepted castoffs from moving neighbors, salvaged items from dumpsters, and bought most things at garage sales, consignment or second-hand shops and made them my own. Slipcovers and throws work wonders on tattered upholstery Dings and dents are "character". When people come over, I just tell them I'm going for the "distressed" look in my decor.

I appreciate fine things, but I don't want the aggravation about worrying over how my difficult child's (husband included) will mistreat it. I still have my fantasy houses inspired by HGTV, but my feet are grounded firmly in my real and liveable HOME.

 

[gcvmom]

Sometimes we do all we can and let go of what we can't. or at least I try to...

Very well said!

 

[Hound dog]

Wanna know how bad I used to be about this??

If someone was going to visit and I knew about it beforehand........I cleaned everything, and honey I mean everything.....including washing windows, curtains, blinds, and walls! They could've eaten off my floors without fear.

Now granted, I'm not at all thrilled with the current state of my home....dirty, cluttered, worn out threadbare furniture, walls look horrid and need painting (last owner didn't used washable paint wasn't that sweet?) new carpet thanks to too many homeless animals and a basset giving birth in the middle of my living room.

The dirty and cluttered is due to the fact that Nichole and I are both full time students and tend to run and drop and live with 2 males who wouldn't dream of cleaning anything. The other......I don't worry too much about. My kids friends enjoy my house because no one is gonna have a heart attack if you put a glass of soda on the coffee table or spill something on the carpet. They can relax here because it's a HOME, not a show piece.

One day my home will have decent furniture and be spotless again. But for now, homey has to do, otherwise stay away.

(((hugs)))

 

[muttmeister]

I've always enjoyed having company. Now that my difficult children are grown, I remodeled my house and it looks good and I get compliments on it but when they were little I had holes in the wall, a couch missing two legs so they had catalogs propped under them, worn out carpet, shredded linoleum where the kids had put duct tape to make roads for their cars, and lots of other stuff we can probably all relate to. I still loved to have company, even then. I always told people I'd love to have them over and if they were coming to see me and have a visit we'd have a good time but if they were coming to criticize my house I'd just as soon they'd stay home. Most of them came anyway. Relax and enjoy your friends. If they're worth having over they don't care about all of that stuff.

 

[jbrain]

Thanks, I enjoyed all your replies! Well, looks like something I can "work" on--not being embarrassed by my home! And I am far less critical of others' homes--I really don't judge them. I was glad to read of your less than perfect houses!
Thanks,
Jane