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The coming Thanksgiving crisis--home from college
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 391916" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I think you need to assess the situation when he gets home. Can you find out what his current grades are? My daughter lasted one semester at college before her alcohol/drug use got her kicked out. We found later that she attended classes only the first week and ended up with all F's. If his grades are good and his behavior at home is respectful and drug free then perhaps you should give him another semester to see what happens. </p><p></p><p>But I suspect you will find out that his substance abuse is serious and your decision will be easier. It's true that you can't force him into treatment but you can do what most treatment facilities tell you to do and that's draw the line in the sand. Tell him that either he goes to a treatment facility or he can no longer live in your home. The money you planned to spend on his education may have to go to save his life. If he doesn't get treatment he will never finish his education anyway.</p><p></p><p>It's a terribly difficult decision. We had to make that this past summer when our daughter finally agreed to go into treatment or leave our home. She spent 60 days inpatient and is currently in outpatient, having relapsed after almost 100 days of sobriety. It's not an easy road but it's one that will be worth it in the end. I know what it feels like to have peace in your home with your difficult child away at school. We had that for two months and I just won't go back to the chaos we had before. We may end up having to kick her out if she doesn't stay in the program. These are tough choices we have to make.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 391916, member: 59"] I think you need to assess the situation when he gets home. Can you find out what his current grades are? My daughter lasted one semester at college before her alcohol/drug use got her kicked out. We found later that she attended classes only the first week and ended up with all F's. If his grades are good and his behavior at home is respectful and drug free then perhaps you should give him another semester to see what happens. But I suspect you will find out that his substance abuse is serious and your decision will be easier. It's true that you can't force him into treatment but you can do what most treatment facilities tell you to do and that's draw the line in the sand. Tell him that either he goes to a treatment facility or he can no longer live in your home. The money you planned to spend on his education may have to go to save his life. If he doesn't get treatment he will never finish his education anyway. It's a terribly difficult decision. We had to make that this past summer when our daughter finally agreed to go into treatment or leave our home. She spent 60 days inpatient and is currently in outpatient, having relapsed after almost 100 days of sobriety. It's not an easy road but it's one that will be worth it in the end. I know what it feels like to have peace in your home with your difficult child away at school. We had that for two months and I just won't go back to the chaos we had before. We may end up having to kick her out if she doesn't stay in the program. These are tough choices we have to make. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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The coming Thanksgiving crisis--home from college
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