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Substance Abuse
The continuing Rollercoaster of pain and despair
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<blockquote data-quote="Lost in sadness" data-source="post: 707099" data-attributes="member: 21056"><p>I manage a few weeks at best, then I am back needing that warm comfort of you lovely people. Someone please please tell me this will end. I managed 10 days with no contact and then gradually it creeps back as if nothing has happened. I want to believe it will be different but it never is and deep down I always know that will be the outcome. He was sleeping on a sofa and i finally managed to get him to make contact with a friend I knew that had a job opportunity.(friend knows the situation) Pick him up and take him to the interview, he gets the job!!! Apparently the interview was open and honest, friend lays down the law, son agrees. One chance. Its a great job, well paid, great prospects. A career!</p><p>With all this, we agree he can come home the following week once he starts his job. We wrote house rules including drug testing, he agrees. Pick him up first day job and take him to job. He loves it!! He even returned to running that night at the local athletics track. Girlfriend comes over (she has issues). Time comes for her to go, 10.30pm and he refuses. We had heard them arguing earlier in evening. We enforce our rules and he becomes abusive verbally. Goes off in a taxi blaming us. Next day, i pray he got up and went to work and I receive a text at the end of the day to say he never went. I am devastated. i call him, no answer, I text and he says he is not good and had tried to kill himself the previous night. He cuts me off. Next morning I make contact and beg him to go to work and keep the job as friend had agreed he could go bak in for a chat. he agrees, I pick him up and drive him to work. He wants me to go to shop and get him papers for cigarettes, I tell him I don't have time and he absolutely loses it! Fists clenched, screaming at me, punching the dashboard, throwing stuff, reducing me to tears. He goads me when I do this. Then he starts crying and wants a hug. I want to leave, I ask him to get out and go into work. He gets out and walks out of the gate on the phone. I drive off and tell him it is 9am and he should be in work. He agrees. I go home and go to bed. I'm ill. He sends an apology email from his work account so I see he went. I don't reply. I stay in bed. My husband messages him and tells him I will pick him up and end of day but he is never to behave like that again and if he so much as raises his voice at me he is out. He says we will be going over the house rules that evening. I pick him up and he is in good spirits, loves his job! I'm on edge. He starts helping himself to beers out of the fridge. Seems manic! Rings his grandma to tell her the good news about his job - really strange as he has not had any contact with her for a number of months. Husband comes home and we sit to talk. He only says a few words and my son starts. He shouts, swears, awful behavior and my husband tells me he cannot live with us. He tells me son calmly to pack some things and he will drive him back to where he was staying previously. He has 30mins to get sorted. It doesn't happen so my husband says he will need to call the police if he doesn't hurry up. Son goes mad, gets on phone to police, Is verbally abusive telling the operator he needs to f*****g hurry up and get the police here or he will need an ambulance too. It felt unreal, like I was watching a nightmare. Who was this person, out of control. He calls my lovely lovely daughter a f*****g c**t and she cries, heartbroken. Police arrive and he behaves like an animal telling them to arrest him as he has no where to go. I can't breathe. One officer has been to us before and was not very patient telling my son he was behaving like a 12 year old! Eventually my son is removed.</p><p>I pray he will keep his job and I text girlfriend next day and she says he went to work. Phew.</p><p>Following week, he went to work (this week). Tuesday evening I see friend and ask how son is getting on, he can't look at me - says he is an "interesting character" with a "lot going on" and that they were going out for coffee the next day to "iron some things out". I know there is something wrong. Next morning, Wednesday I get a text from friend asking if I'm free to talk. I agree. He has had to "let my son go". No surprises there really, BUT for STEALING!!!!! WHAT!!??? I am hurt beyond belief that he would do such a thing, not only to a friend of mine but to someone that offered him a lifeline, a chance to change his life. My friend did not call the police but instead drove him home (not ours). I have tried to communicate with my son about why but he is angry...as me...for what? what did I do? He blames me for throwing him out again. Usual, I'm a rubbish mum blah blah. I feel numb and dead inside. He threw away the best opportunity to save himself and now has nothing. He has since blocked me. So, i do what?</p><p>I am sorry for my long post but I don't post often, just when desperate.....xx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lost in sadness, post: 707099, member: 21056"] I manage a few weeks at best, then I am back needing that warm comfort of you lovely people. Someone please please tell me this will end. I managed 10 days with no contact and then gradually it creeps back as if nothing has happened. I want to believe it will be different but it never is and deep down I always know that will be the outcome. He was sleeping on a sofa and i finally managed to get him to make contact with a friend I knew that had a job opportunity.(friend knows the situation) Pick him up and take him to the interview, he gets the job!!! Apparently the interview was open and honest, friend lays down the law, son agrees. One chance. Its a great job, well paid, great prospects. A career! With all this, we agree he can come home the following week once he starts his job. We wrote house rules including drug testing, he agrees. Pick him up first day job and take him to job. He loves it!! He even returned to running that night at the local athletics track. Girlfriend comes over (she has issues). Time comes for her to go, 10.30pm and he refuses. We had heard them arguing earlier in evening. We enforce our rules and he becomes abusive verbally. Goes off in a taxi blaming us. Next day, i pray he got up and went to work and I receive a text at the end of the day to say he never went. I am devastated. i call him, no answer, I text and he says he is not good and had tried to kill himself the previous night. He cuts me off. Next morning I make contact and beg him to go to work and keep the job as friend had agreed he could go bak in for a chat. he agrees, I pick him up and drive him to work. He wants me to go to shop and get him papers for cigarettes, I tell him I don't have time and he absolutely loses it! Fists clenched, screaming at me, punching the dashboard, throwing stuff, reducing me to tears. He goads me when I do this. Then he starts crying and wants a hug. I want to leave, I ask him to get out and go into work. He gets out and walks out of the gate on the phone. I drive off and tell him it is 9am and he should be in work. He agrees. I go home and go to bed. I'm ill. He sends an apology email from his work account so I see he went. I don't reply. I stay in bed. My husband messages him and tells him I will pick him up and end of day but he is never to behave like that again and if he so much as raises his voice at me he is out. He says we will be going over the house rules that evening. I pick him up and he is in good spirits, loves his job! I'm on edge. He starts helping himself to beers out of the fridge. Seems manic! Rings his grandma to tell her the good news about his job - really strange as he has not had any contact with her for a number of months. Husband comes home and we sit to talk. He only says a few words and my son starts. He shouts, swears, awful behavior and my husband tells me he cannot live with us. He tells me son calmly to pack some things and he will drive him back to where he was staying previously. He has 30mins to get sorted. It doesn't happen so my husband says he will need to call the police if he doesn't hurry up. Son goes mad, gets on phone to police, Is verbally abusive telling the operator he needs to f*****g hurry up and get the police here or he will need an ambulance too. It felt unreal, like I was watching a nightmare. Who was this person, out of control. He calls my lovely lovely daughter a f*****g c**t and she cries, heartbroken. Police arrive and he behaves like an animal telling them to arrest him as he has no where to go. I can't breathe. One officer has been to us before and was not very patient telling my son he was behaving like a 12 year old! Eventually my son is removed. I pray he will keep his job and I text girlfriend next day and she says he went to work. Phew. Following week, he went to work (this week). Tuesday evening I see friend and ask how son is getting on, he can't look at me - says he is an "interesting character" with a "lot going on" and that they were going out for coffee the next day to "iron some things out". I know there is something wrong. Next morning, Wednesday I get a text from friend asking if I'm free to talk. I agree. He has had to "let my son go". No surprises there really, BUT for STEALING!!!!! WHAT!!??? I am hurt beyond belief that he would do such a thing, not only to a friend of mine but to someone that offered him a lifeline, a chance to change his life. My friend did not call the police but instead drove him home (not ours). I have tried to communicate with my son about why but he is angry...as me...for what? what did I do? He blames me for throwing him out again. Usual, I'm a rubbish mum blah blah. I feel numb and dead inside. He threw away the best opportunity to save himself and now has nothing. He has since blocked me. So, i do what? I am sorry for my long post but I don't post often, just when desperate.....xx [/QUOTE]
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