The craziness that is my mother in law...Will I ever learn?

[Shari]

Wee is in cub scouts. Has wanted to be forever.

Part of what lit that fire was finding husband's mess kit a few years back. He loved it. husband would let him play with it, but husband was pretty protective of it, so we ended up getting Wee one of his own.

Recently, two brooms has given husband his neckerchief and tie slide that she had kept. A while back she gave him his pinewood derby car. Wee just thinks this is AWESOME, because husband was a cub scout, too! He wants husband to attend all of his boy scout meetings, etc, since husband "knows about scouts".

So last night was a meeting. Den leader was asking questions. husband had no clue. So I ended up figuring it out.

So when we got home, I took a look at husband's stuff (he has given it to Wee). He doesn't have any badges or pins, so I figure his mom must still have them. The way they both cling to this stuff, I figured he must have been really into it.

I asked. He doesn't have any. So I said "exactly how long were you in boy scouts?"

"Not very". He was in less than 6 months. He has no badges or pins. He happened to join about the time they did the pinewood derby race, beyond that, all he ever did was buy the uniform and supplies... Why in the world would you hang onto that stuff like that and talk about, every time Wee has a meeting, how husband used to be a cub scout?

Sheesh. Will I ever learn to not be suprised by this junk? lol

 

[buddy]

OK, but it is a little bit funny.

Sounds like two brooms (I just love that name, I crack up every time I read your posts) has a hoarding problem along with a rich fantasy life. And is still missing her baby boy, sigh.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Ummm... difficult child won't let toss ANYTHING from stuff he's "done" - even if he was only there for a one-day trial and hated every minute.

But still...

Sometimes we don't know whether to laugh or cry...

 

[Shari]

Oh, I'm laughing hysterically. Really. I think its funny.

Thank Star for the name. Its perfect and frankly, it helps me keep my sanity in the midst of it. And yes, you've nailed her.

And I am pleasantly suprised by husband...as she keeps sending home her "treasures" from his life (I'm not convinced we won't find his used dirty diapers somewhere...), he pilfers through it, may keep an item or two (or may not), and hands me the rest to get rid of.

 

[buddy]

yup, that is Q too...everything is "special" uggg, he even admitted that he is a "hoarder-er-er".... LOL

 

[Shari]

Went digging in the ancient past looking for something else, and found this...
http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f10/i-am-such-glutton-punishment-27951/

Funny thing is, we still have that pony, and just the other day, she announced she wants to ride in its cart.

(She weighs 300 pounds. Pony might weigh 500...maybe. I don't see that happening.

Besides, the evil person that I am? I keep the pony farmed out to little children in the community who actually USE it. Their families happily take care of it in exchange for using it. The best part? She hates my ex-in-laws and despises the fact that they sill love me. Guess who has the pony??? heehee)

I was actually looking for the post where Star gave her the name. Can't find it. Sorry.

 

[DDD]

Is it possible that husband didn't blend well socially and therefore those scant memories are treasured? I know my difficult child talks about the "years" he played soccer but, in fact, he played very little and usually was on the sidelines. If his Mom is half as odd as described maybe that was her only effort and so it has been magnified in importance.

On a lighter note....I'm not a hoarder but there sure seems to be a lot of "junk" stored in boxes. DDD

 

[Shari]

I don't think so, DDD. At least not in husband's mind. Maybe in his mother's, because I don't think he participated in much, if anything, else. And the only thing he is bonded with is that mess kit. But I think it has less to do with having been a scout item and more to do with his intense desire to have "gadgets". That's the sort of "gadget" he's drawn to.

His mama? Who knows. Its entirely possibly with her. She carries on and on about how tight money was and how poor they were and how hard she worked when the kids were little, and how hard it was to buy groceries. She told a big long sob story last winter about having to take treats to work and staying up, sometimes past 10pm, to make the treats, after she'd already fixed a meal for the family, after a long day of work, blah blah blah, then she'd have to get up at 6am to finish them.

And just last week she told me she stayed home with the kids til they were 10.

And she is just now starting to buy off-brand groceries....and even now its few and far between, she almost always buys name-brand. Heck, her recipes from 50 years ago call for ingredients by brand.

So its entirely possible that the one activity she ever had husband in is, in her mind, a glowing experence...course...in her mind, everything about her is a glowing experience. lol

And she? Is a hoarder. Her hubby is too.

 

[DDD]

I "know" this isn't "nice", lol, but maybe the only time he had food was when he had his mess kit since they were so very poor. Geez. DDD

 

[gcvmom]

Sounds SO much like my mother in law.

She has been giving us all kinds of JUNK she's saved from husband's childhood, and I'm supposed to find a place for it. A foot-long plastic marlin bought on a trip to Florida one year. The paint is chipped, but husband insists I hang it on the wall. A plastic cowboy boot cup that he drank out of when he was little. A latch-hook yarn picture of a B.C. comics caveman -- the piece is done on colored burlap and backed with cardboard and measures about 4 FEET by 5 FEET. Another piece of "art" is an acrylic painting he made on cardboard of some geese flying over a half-frozen lake. It's even framed with some 1" moulding I'm sure his dad built, and it's the same dimensions as his groovy caveman yarn art. It's not bad for something a 13yo of mediocre talent might paint. And I'm supposed to store this where? Oh, and thank-you-very-much for all the silverfish that hitchhiked in on these things. And FWIW, easy child has more talent in her right pinky, but husband is constantly telling people she got her artistic side from him.

mother in law saved receipts from his student loans. No idea why since I ended up helping him pay them off after we got married. She even saved the receipt for his high school ring. It was stolen before I even met him, but she so thoughtfully gave it to me a few years ago and told me she thought he'd like a replacement ring. Uh huh. Thanks. I'll get right on that. NOT.

Oh, and we have EVERY single trophy he's ever won -- going all the way back to elementary school. And he insists they be on display in our room. Where I'm sure they'll fall on my head during an earthquake.

It's kinda pathetic that he peaked at about 13 and it's all been downhill since.

 

[DammitJanet]

LOL....lord I am glad we got rid of all that junk of the boys. I sort of missed the boys trophies but I dont think they do. I did lose a ton of pics and personal items in a sewer back up when the boys were very young but I really dont know what I lost. I couldnt go through the boxes to find out. It was too gross. I really thought I was going to find more of my stuff when I went through all my moms things but I didnt. It saddened me.

 

[Shari]

GM, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's too funny! At least my husband is beyond having to keep all this stuff. Thank goodness!

I'm sorry, Janet. :-( Maybe sometimes too much is better than too little? I dunno. I keep things from the kids, but not every thing.

 

[susiestar]

This is why we had a garage. For all that koi to live in and be celebrated in. I can remember going through a box in our basement when I was about 10. Gma had brought it over and my parents had just put it down in the storage section of the basement (our basement had 3 sections - half was mostly storage and for when there was tornadoes, 1/4 was for the laundry and my mom's sewing stuff, and 1/4 was for Dad's shop equipement (tablesaw, tools, etc.). At the time my dad was all over us about grades, and had told stories of what his grades were, how he got into trouble if they were Bs, etc... I found his kdg report card. He flunked. He was out most of the year with chicken pox and strep throat. He also had comments about being "difficult" and some other not so great things.

I got a LOT more slack after I found those. Mostly I wasn't in trouble because I liked school and did well, but now and again I did something considered "antisocial" like telling a kid I would chew his face off if he didn't stop sticking it into my business. He was bullying me and it wasn't a smart thing for a dumb kid to try. He was way too easy to scare and I had few problems carrying through on things if the bullies didn't leave me alone. I was small and cute and sweet and rarely got angry, but if I said I would do something if you didn't stop/leave me alone, I would do it. I didn't threaten. For some reason having the little cute kid snap and punch you like a pro boxer was scarier to people than having the big class bully do it. I still don't get that one, but i have my own aspie traits.

The big reason I got a lot less pressure from my dad was because the threat wasn't that I would tell people, it was that I would tell gfgbro. Then gfgbro would use it to justify his own horrible behavior. I was smart enough to use the threat of revealing it gfgbro to get what i wanted, rather than actually telling gfgbro and watching him use it as a reason to implode and fight with our dad over grades and if they were important or not.