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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753814" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I have been watching the impeachment hearings. I looked up Fiona Hill, and found this quote attributed to her about diplomacy and foreign relations.</p><p></p><p><em>I can't figure out how to kill them without committing suicide, so now I have to find a way to live with them.</em> </p><p></p><p>Can you believe that I thought it pertained to my relationship with my son? I don't want to kill him, but I don't know how to live with him, and can't live without him either. </p><p></p><p>What brings all of us here is that our children either have become our enemies or we are trying to defeat something in them or about their lives that we find to be incompatible or that is incompatible with the world as we know it.</p><p></p><p>But the thing neither New Leaf nor any one of us can do, is to kill off the part of ourselves that keeps attached, either from attachment or responsibility or love.</p><p>Yes.This is a child. All he knows is what he's lived. Children don't have any other choice but to build their own humanity based upon what they experience, what they see, modeled by the adults upon whom they depend. His own personhood he has not yet discovered. He is aping his father, his uncles, his grandfathers. </p><p></p><p>What you've given him New Leaf for the first time in his life, is a choice point, to become himself. What he is displaying now is behaviors, not essence. It's no more than monkey see, monkey do. But he needs to know deeply and surely that it's not acceptable. He did not pay attention in your house. Because he's internalized a system of values of brute power and violence. And it's this value system that has betrayed him. He now has the opportunity to begin to learn another value system, and the behavior that goes with it.</p><p></p><p>I hope there is the possibility of some kind of family therapy with you and him together.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753814, member: 18958"] I have been watching the impeachment hearings. I looked up Fiona Hill, and found this quote attributed to her about diplomacy and foreign relations. [I]I can't figure out how to kill them without committing suicide, so now I have to find a way to live with them.[/I] Can you believe that I thought it pertained to my relationship with my son? I don't want to kill him, but I don't know how to live with him, and can't live without him either. What brings all of us here is that our children either have become our enemies or we are trying to defeat something in them or about their lives that we find to be incompatible or that is incompatible with the world as we know it. But the thing neither New Leaf nor any one of us can do, is to kill off the part of ourselves that keeps attached, either from attachment or responsibility or love. Yes.This is a child. All he knows is what he's lived. Children don't have any other choice but to build their own humanity based upon what they experience, what they see, modeled by the adults upon whom they depend. His own personhood he has not yet discovered. He is aping his father, his uncles, his grandfathers. What you've given him New Leaf for the first time in his life, is a choice point, to become himself. What he is displaying now is behaviors, not essence. It's no more than monkey see, monkey do. But he needs to know deeply and surely that it's not acceptable. He did not pay attention in your house. Because he's internalized a system of values of brute power and violence. And it's this value system that has betrayed him. He now has the opportunity to begin to learn another value system, and the behavior that goes with it. I hope there is the possibility of some kind of family therapy with you and him together. [/QUOTE]
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