S
Signorina
Guest
Remember how husband h and I took a 4 hour drive(8hrs R/T!) to see difficult child to set the "standards of living in our home" per the advice of the psychiatrist?
Remember how I fretted, and prayed about and worked on the list and polished it for weeks before? Went over it in minute detail w H? Memorized the terms per the psychiatrists instructions? Drew strength from it and the control it face back to us?
Apparently, husband remembers none of that because difficult child was home less than a day before he handed him the car keys (no driving period until a month of clean drug tests?) and ok'd him going out until 1:00 am (midnight or sleep elsewhere?) and never even bothered to tell me that difficult child went out until I went to kiss difficult child goodnight at 12:30 & found his bed empty! husband was sleeping too and I did not wake him up in a warm & fuzzy, loving way!!!
I am so furious and HURT. This was important to me and I thought it was important to him. It should've been important to him just by virtue of its importance to me. And when I asked him "why" he threw our "standards" out the window, the answer was I don't know. Really?
I'm mad but I am mostly full of heartache. It just hurts. There is no way he didn't know how much this meant to me. That alone should've been enough to have it register in his mind. And it's triggered a whole bunch of the "stumbling block emotions" that bring up past hurts in our marriage and I am really feeling awful. He has a history of giving lip service to me when I SPELL OUT what I need from him, and I am re-feeling each and everyone of those moments again today. We're supposed to be on the same page & I don't think we're even in the same book!
Ugh
Remember how I fretted, and prayed about and worked on the list and polished it for weeks before? Went over it in minute detail w H? Memorized the terms per the psychiatrists instructions? Drew strength from it and the control it face back to us?
Apparently, husband remembers none of that because difficult child was home less than a day before he handed him the car keys (no driving period until a month of clean drug tests?) and ok'd him going out until 1:00 am (midnight or sleep elsewhere?) and never even bothered to tell me that difficult child went out until I went to kiss difficult child goodnight at 12:30 & found his bed empty! husband was sleeping too and I did not wake him up in a warm & fuzzy, loving way!!!
I am so furious and HURT. This was important to me and I thought it was important to him. It should've been important to him just by virtue of its importance to me. And when I asked him "why" he threw our "standards" out the window, the answer was I don't know. Really?
I'm mad but I am mostly full of heartache. It just hurts. There is no way he didn't know how much this meant to me. That alone should've been enough to have it register in his mind. And it's triggered a whole bunch of the "stumbling block emotions" that bring up past hurts in our marriage and I am really feeling awful. He has a history of giving lip service to me when I SPELL OUT what I need from him, and I am re-feeling each and everyone of those moments again today. We're supposed to be on the same page & I don't think we're even in the same book!
Ugh