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The dagger of grief
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 413042" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well Steely, </p><p> </p><p>This is as Janet said - tough. I'm not sure what else you can do at this point, but the best you can in the moment. My thoughts are with you and your family for continued strength. Dude is my only natural born son - Kari came into my life when Dude was around 4 and passed away when Dude was 8. Kari passed away at 18 shortly after being married, as a result of a bull riding accident after 3 days in ICU. </p><p> </p><p> Steven and Dude were sworn enemies in 7th grade - nearly killed each other in school and that following weekend Steven followed him home on his bike and basically never left. He was 18 also, and he was driving, burned alive behind the wheel of his car on Friday the 13th - 2 February's ago, along with 2 other young men. That was sudden, tragic - and quite a shock. </p><p> </p><p>We didn't get to say goodbye to either boy - in a way I'm glad because with Kari - there was all the drama of the life-support, and ICU. It was too much. Not only did we have to deal with turning off life support, but then his bio-Mom was there and she had a heart attack. With Steven? It was decided for us - but we never even got a chance to see him period. I'm not sure if there is a worse - both were crippling in their own way, but like I said - the part of death that you have a choice in is when you realize that you can't do anything about it, if you could? You wouldn't want them to suffer because you love them, and whether they believe or not - as long as you believe? You will see them again. When I tell you my boys are in a better place? My body and mind believe it - my heart has a time with it sometimes - because I'm human and I'm selfish - but my I know what I believe and it's true. </p><p> </p><p>Take things - one minute at a time. Don't forget to breathe. Deal with what you can as you can. When you can't? - Repeat.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 413042, member: 4964"] Well Steely, This is as Janet said - tough. I'm not sure what else you can do at this point, but the best you can in the moment. My thoughts are with you and your family for continued strength. Dude is my only natural born son - Kari came into my life when Dude was around 4 and passed away when Dude was 8. Kari passed away at 18 shortly after being married, as a result of a bull riding accident after 3 days in ICU. Steven and Dude were sworn enemies in 7th grade - nearly killed each other in school and that following weekend Steven followed him home on his bike and basically never left. He was 18 also, and he was driving, burned alive behind the wheel of his car on Friday the 13th - 2 February's ago, along with 2 other young men. That was sudden, tragic - and quite a shock. We didn't get to say goodbye to either boy - in a way I'm glad because with Kari - there was all the drama of the life-support, and ICU. It was too much. Not only did we have to deal with turning off life support, but then his bio-Mom was there and she had a heart attack. With Steven? It was decided for us - but we never even got a chance to see him period. I'm not sure if there is a worse - both were crippling in their own way, but like I said - the part of death that you have a choice in is when you realize that you can't do anything about it, if you could? You wouldn't want them to suffer because you love them, and whether they believe or not - as long as you believe? You will see them again. When I tell you my boys are in a better place? My body and mind believe it - my heart has a time with it sometimes - because I'm human and I'm selfish - but my I know what I believe and it's true. Take things - one minute at a time. Don't forget to breathe. Deal with what you can as you can. When you can't? - Repeat. [/QUOTE]
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