The Day From Hades

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Mar 18, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Travis woke me up at about 9:20 am. To give the boy credit......he did it very carefully and very meekly. And asked me very politely if I would please drive him to work.

    So, since he had to be there by 10am, I hop out of bed, throw on some clothes, and drive him to work........without a cup of coffee first. (talk about road rage. )

    I walk back in the door and easy child is calling. She knew I was going over to take mother in law her monthly bills and checkbook to pay, along with bringing her clean laundry back. She was offering to come and help. So we'd made plans.

    Then I hear a crash. I tell easy child I have to go now. Molly has decided Nichole's guinea pigs are "puppies" and can't stand them being in the cage, so tries to break them free to herd them. I go running into Nichole's room to find the cage upside down with 2 very terrified pigs and Molly in puppy play stance waiting for them to come out and play. I scold Molly, get the cage back into order and lock Molly out of the room.:faint:

    I finally got that first cup of coffee and called sister in law in virginia. mother in law is so confused by her medications, and doctor keeps changing the orders, that mother in law wanted me to talk to him. She also wanted me to talk to him about the hip surgery. Well, only thing is everytime I try to talk with him, he won't call me back. So I called sister in law. As luck would have it, she was already planning to call him. So we got what details needed to be covered out of the way........

    And I get a knock on the front door. The dogs go crazy. I recognize the blue jumper thru the blinds. It's the guy from the power company. So I'm trying to hurry sister in law up so I can get to the door. A minute or two later I hear my back door open.....and the lights are gone, which also means my phone is gone.

    So I headed out to meet the guy in the blue jumper to explain that I was headed to the door, would he just give me a chance to run to the bank..........No Ma'am. It's off now and it's staying off. So I blasted him for coming into MY house to shut it off. And he just kept repeating that it was off and staying off.:mad:

    It was all I could do at that moment NOT to kill him. I have a vicious dangerous temper. I work hard to keep it under control. But when it's triggered, I see red........And it's not pretty by a long shot. And that's where I was standing there glaring at him contemplating the means by which to end his life.......and also struggling to keep hold of reason. He was just doing his job. Although illegally by entering my house without permission.

    So I went inside and grabbed my purse. I was in such a fury my furbabies ran from me. I put the dogs into the yard and headed down the alley to easy child's house. I'm certain there was steam coming out of my ears by this point. If husband had been within the city limits, he'd been dead. I can do nothing without power.....not even make a phone call. And I had a dozen things to do, just for his mother alone.

    And I didn't even know if we had the money to pay the bill.

    I walked in and easy child handed me the phone, bless her heart. She didn't have a clue what had happened, but knew her Dad well enough to guess he was at the bottom of it. I called his cell phone to reach him at work. I ripped husband a new one. He told me he had the money in his pocket and would come right home to pay it. I told him that would get him fired. (he's taken too many days off work since Jan) He said probably. So I let him have it again telling him that getting his arse fired was soooo going to help the situation. ARGH! I told him to stay at work. He normally gets home before the deadline to pay the bill and get the power turned back on. easy child and I would find a way to manage what I had to do.

    easy child and I went and gathered up mother in law's bills. Then Nichole called easy child's cell and reminded me we needed to go pick up our books for next quarter. Plus we're going to a different campus and needed to figure out how to find the place. So after explaining to easy child, we agreed to meet up again as soon as Nichole and I were finished with the school business.

    The south campus is a half hour south of us, turns out. We get our books and make the drive back.

    It's 3pm. husband is home and has paid the bill and is waiting for the power guy. I told him you don't wait, you call the co back and tell them you paid the bill to make certain they turn the darn thing back on. So he picked up the phone. easy child and the grands and I head over to mother in law's to do the bills. Only to discover she's in PT and won't be done for more than an hour.

    So easy child and I took the kids to the park. It was a lovely warm day. Then back to her house for a picnic. Then I had to take Aubrey back to my house (we now had power again) to wait for her Dad to pick her up after class. She's exhausted. And we waited, and waited. Just as I'm getting mad again I hear a car pull up. I've got Aubrey lying on my lap so have Travis get the door. It's not Nichole's's his DAD. OMG My house is beyond cluttered or even's filthy. So now add humilliation onto the day as I'm handing Aubrey over to him. Didn't seem to bother boyfriend's Dad, unless he's the world's greatest actor. But it DID bother the h*ll out of me.

    By now it's 7pm and I still haven't gotten mother in law's bills to her. So I load Travis into the car. Kroger had milk at 88 cents per half gallon yesterday and he wanted to buy it at that price to replace the gallons he'd drunk on his latest milk binge. I told him he had to visit mother in law as I wasn't making 2 trips.

    I get there and there is the medication mix up again.:faint: Not the nurses fault. Not mother in law's fault. The way the doctor has the orders written is confusing by itself. But he did increase her pain medication again........this time to oxycotin (sp) 4 times a day. Nursing home doesn't get new medications delivered until midnight. mother in law had already taken her last percacet at 5pm......and was still at a really high level of pain. I got it straight with the nurse, she was going to page fam doctor and get mother in law a vicodin at 9pm to hold her until the new pain medication arrived at midnight. Great. Explained it to mother in law.

    Next we dive into her bills. No problem except that it just takes forever. Then we discussed the cell phone. She asked to see Travis'. A Jitterbug is about 140 dollars. But she had no trouble seeing the numbers, hearing the ringer, or hearing on his cheap trac phone. So, we're skipping Jitterbug for the moment and going the cheap way. Wonderful.

    We discuss the surgery again. I gave her all the risks I could think of, and for her age there are plenty. She knows I'm not making it up, I used to work orthopedics back before husband and I were married. She is finally accepting she can't go home. But she still needs to make the final decision on the hip thing. So sister in law and I were to talk last night.

    Then I go out to the parking lot, start up the car and the fuel gauge says Empty. I wanted to pound my head on the steering wheel. Travis volunteers to buy me a few gallons of gas. I told him we didnt really have time, I wanted to call sister in law at a decent hour and it was already 8:30 pm. At times my gas guage thing sticks. So I told Travis he had his cell and we were going to take the risk that I had gas. Because I remembered I had half a tank when I took him to work in the morning.

    Get home right at 9pm. Call sister in law. doctor told her he discussed surgery with mother in law cause he sees it as a viable option for her. Yeah, right. Neither sister in law or I bought that. It's a power play pure and simple. Sister in law got the medication issue fixed. He's trying to manage her pain level, but the oxycotin is as high as he can go outside the hospital. Understandable. We discussed the assisted living place here. The SW at hospital was wrong yet again. (of course) It doesn't cost 6000.00 a month, it's 2800 something with the level mother in law would enter at. BUT they now can care for her until she dies even at total patient care. Bad news is that I found out from mother in law her monthly income is only around 2000.00. So of course the house has to go asap.

    Our goal is to get mother in law as comfortable as humanly possible in the nursing home while running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to find ways to get her into the assisted living. I'm to find out how much medicare covers after her 20 days is up and if we can get her a private room. And I'm to get mother in law to make a firm decision about surgery today.

    My topper to the day was..........drumroll please..........I'm on the phone late talking to a good friend..........the lights go OUT. (this happens occasionally) It didn't cut off the phone because I'd dug up the old wall phone earlier to talk on the phone without power. It shuts my computer down. So I go to turn it back on. It doesn't turn on. At this point I'm losing it. Friend suggests unplugging and plugging it back in. I did. Nothing. Travis comes down.....decides to try unplugging the power supply and plugging back in. In the meantime I'm so done. Ready to walk off a short peer and not look back. Sounds trivial, but after the past months, and the day in particular, I had had it. To have the brand new computer I bought only a couple of days ago get firied.............My main means of coping with all of this.......No. I was done. Travis' trick worked. Which is why I'm still here. lol

    These are my days right now. To give sister in law credit, she's doing most of the calling and info gathering as she can do that from a distance. I'm doing the heavy work. Any time I have to run to the nursing turns into a 4-5 hr marathon because mother in law always has a list of things for me to do, plus her laundry. This is on top of my normal every day stuff which is bad all by itself.

    My house is beyond cluttered, beyond dirty, and well past filthy. I was so looking forward to cleaning every nook and cranny over spring break. So far, I've managed to wash the dishes.:faint: And as far as "break" goes......please, I have trouble finding time to sit down until after 10pm at night.

    As for husband.........He gets up at 2am to go to work. He gets home at 2:30-3pm. By 5:30pm he's in bed for the night. I have all I can do to get him to stop by mother in law's house and pick up her mail. easy child is helping me with the cell phone today because I've not got a clue. She does try to help.......but with the new baby feeding every 3 hrs, there isn't a whole lot she can do. And she's right smack in the middle of moving into a bigger house. Nichole is still dealing with final exams.

    So, it's me. There is no one else. It is almost comical if I were on the outside looking in. All of this is falling on someone who had a heart attack last winter, who has terminal kidney disease, Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), a disabled son to keep an eye on and manage, and who is a full time student. Yet none of the abled bodied family members are available.

    Before I left mother in law last night she hugged me close and apologized. She is so sorry all of this fell onto me. She'd never meant for it to be that way. I told her unless she'd planned the fall......she wasn't to blame either. Just the way things happened.:(

    If I don't find reasons to laugh.......I'd never stop crying.
  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Maybe you ought to get a hobby? Just kidding...... some days you just never want to repeat in your lifetime......this was yours....... things can only get better, right? Take your pulse and think of the alternative.... you have dealt with it all... you are some kinda' woman!
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O Lisa--

    I got exhausted just reading all of this!! I can't imagine having to live it!!

    I know you don't need another expense right now, but if your electricity system is iffy in that it cuts off and on and levels fluctuate--get yourself a UPS (Uninterruptibale Power Supply) unit to plug your computer into. It will keep your computer running through minor power fluctuations AND prevent it from getting fried in the event of a surge. One less thing to worry about....


  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member


    I have had days like that, but if EVERY day were like that, I would lose it.

    My little sister's life is a bit like yours. She's the main caregiver for our dad. Despite the fact he's in a retirement home, where we pay extra for a nurse, she still checks on him every day because he's got Alzheimer's and is not yet bad enough for lockdown. So, he wanders ... usually to the bar and restaurant next door.

    I am flying up at the end of the month to help out.

    Do you have any other family members who can help?

    Once your mother in law is settled in with-her pain medications and/or surgery, things will lighten up. That's the hard part.

    Then you can deal with-your husband, his schedule and his finances. There should be no power outages!!!!! That should be something HE stays on top of. He's not a 2-yr-old.

    Many hugs and extra margaritas. (Sorry, couldn't find a margarita lady so you'll have to do spiked coffee.)

  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Can't they use fentanyl patches to help your mother in law? The pain from this is not going to go away for a long time. I know there are risks with the patch, but at least through surgery and recovery/rehab, fentanyl patches would give her some consistent relief. Just a suggestion to have sister in law ask the doctor about.

    Anyway, I hope things settle down soon.

    gentle hugs,

  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    You know, Lisa, sometimes there are in life when you just need to put the brakes on and laugh even though life stinks. I watched The Big Labouski (have no idea how to spell that) this morning. I laughed so hard. I should have been out looking for a job, but made the executive decision to watch the movie.

    Laughter is probably the best OTC drug you can get. You get that little pump to keep going on. I look forward to my daily talks with my daughter. She will have you hurting from laughing so hard. Then there is that certain board member...uhhh, hummm...who puts me in stitches.

    Go rent a couple good comedies and sit down and enjoy. If 'others' try to violate your space, just do the hand thing. GO AWAY.

  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Get this woman a quadruple dose of Calgon, quick!
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member


    I have nothing else to say.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well guys.........At least after the day from hades..........

    Things are beginning to look up.

    Although I did spend most of today running for mother in law......I had husband and Travis go with me for the phone. Honestly I can fill what little I know about them on the head of a needle. So we picked the best they had for mother in law.

    Then I had husband go with me to the nursing home. We spoke to the business office, it will not be cheap if she goes past her 20 days......but we'll know more about that later. mother in law nixed the private room....good thing as it's 60 bucks a day over what medicare is already paying.

    mother in law's pain is almost non existant now. She is back to herself......OMG it is such a relief to see!!! :D I hadn't really been planning on it, but I grabbed the opportunity and asked her straight out, without pain clouding her judgement, did she want the hip surgery. I told her we had to have a definate answer so we could get going on gettting her out of the nursing home.

    mother in law said no to surgery. (there is a God) She fully understands she will never be able to return home and is ok with it. So I told her we needed the ok for husband's brother to sell the house. She gave us the go ahead!! :D

    Now that we have mother in law's permission.........We will no longer be spinning our wheels. We still may be crazy for a while, but now we're just trying to pull the plan together. And once mother in law is in assisted work load will go down about 90 percent.

    Keep your fingers crossed that house sells quickly on this market.

    Now, the rest of the night.........I'm just sitting. Sitting and doing pretty much nothing but petting my poor neglected furbabies and resting. *long sigh of relief*

    One hurdle over.

    Oh, and Abbey......My grands pull me thru this sort of junk. I can be at my lowest low.....and enevitably they'll do or say something and I'll bust up laughing. Which is, of course, why easy child detered me to the park yesterday while we were without power. :D

    Hugs to all of you. Thank you so much for the support. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.