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Substance Abuse
The difficulties of detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 523000" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>It is easier for me if I don't hear from mine. Even though he is older he is just like Nancy described. It amazes me that he doesn't learn from the many past mistakes, but now he tries to hide it from me until everything has completely unraveled. He so desperately wants a romantic relationship but he is attracted to other difficult children, when I think about it, what easy child would put up with the **** they pull? I dread each time he tells me he has met someone, they always want to drag me into the drama, and I refuse to get involved.</p><p></p><p>Trying to help my son has not worked, so I have completely backed off. It still stings that he would spend an entire year apologizing for being such a rotten kid (his words) and then BAM he does it again and she is in on it.</p><p></p><p>I thought he was doing much better even after he lost his job several times and had a hard time finding one, but I found out exactly how much they had been partying on my money. He had conned me for 4 to 5 months and I was stupid enough to think he had changed forever.</p><p></p><p>I wake up with the dread and I once again jump when the phone rings. But after I say my prayers and get active I am OK. The only way I can help my son is to stunt his growth by supporting him just like I see some of my family memebers doing. I refuse to enable any more. As hard as it is, this is his life.</p><p></p><p>Like has been mentioned on this forum before, I love my son, but I do not like the person he has become. He simply refuses to grow up and I think he is petrified of responsibility, just like his father was. Often I have thought how much life would be easier if I had not had him, as selfish as that may be to some, they have not lived in my shoes.</p><p></p><p>I hope that all of the young difficult children grab the chances to turn their lives around. Mine has had so many chances he has completely ignored, so I guess he must like his life the way it is. I don't so I will stay away.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 523000, member: 13558"] It is easier for me if I don't hear from mine. Even though he is older he is just like Nancy described. It amazes me that he doesn't learn from the many past mistakes, but now he tries to hide it from me until everything has completely unraveled. He so desperately wants a romantic relationship but he is attracted to other difficult children, when I think about it, what easy child would put up with the **** they pull? I dread each time he tells me he has met someone, they always want to drag me into the drama, and I refuse to get involved. Trying to help my son has not worked, so I have completely backed off. It still stings that he would spend an entire year apologizing for being such a rotten kid (his words) and then BAM he does it again and she is in on it. I thought he was doing much better even after he lost his job several times and had a hard time finding one, but I found out exactly how much they had been partying on my money. He had conned me for 4 to 5 months and I was stupid enough to think he had changed forever. I wake up with the dread and I once again jump when the phone rings. But after I say my prayers and get active I am OK. The only way I can help my son is to stunt his growth by supporting him just like I see some of my family memebers doing. I refuse to enable any more. As hard as it is, this is his life. Like has been mentioned on this forum before, I love my son, but I do not like the person he has become. He simply refuses to grow up and I think he is petrified of responsibility, just like his father was. Often I have thought how much life would be easier if I had not had him, as selfish as that may be to some, they have not lived in my shoes. I hope that all of the young difficult children grab the chances to turn their lives around. Mine has had so many chances he has completely ignored, so I guess he must like his life the way it is. I don't so I will stay away. [/QUOTE]
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