Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
The difficulties of detachment
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 523689"><p>Janet - I know I appreciate your caring and support so no need to shut up... and your questions are always good food for thought and discussion. So I have been thinking about this morning... does it matter why they steal or do awful things? I am not sure it matters but I do think substance abuse adds another layer of complication on many levels.</p><p></p><p>Many of us here have kids who were definite difficult children before they started using substances (I think myself, Nancy, Kathy and Patriots girl and others are in this situation). Some of us had kids who were basically PCs before drugs entered the picutre (Signorina, Vligirl and some others too). Yet once substance abuse enters there is a lot in common between the kids. </p><p></p><p>I think if my difficult child had never started using substances some of his issues would have continued (such as stealing) but I think he also did at times have good sense and I think as he matured some of those behaviors may have gotten better. The drug use just complicated and made everything worse. For one thing it stunts your emotional growth so even though my son is 20, emotionally he is closer to 14. The drug use becomes a problem in and of itself, so he still has his original difficult child issues but now also has substance abuse as well. And you really can't deal with the underlying difficult child issues while you are still using which complicates things.</p><p></p><p>And I think as a parent the drug use adds a whole other level of fear. Drugs kill people... they are dangerous in and of themselves. I think all of us with kids with serious drug problems are facing the fact that our kids may overdose from doing those drugs... and so there is this compelling wish to save them from death. The people they meet in the drug world are scary untrustworthy people....They just put themselves at so much more risk. And their difficult child behaviors are worse if they are using drugs... at least that is my experience.</p><p></p><p>So I think being a parent of a drug addict is a rather unique awful experience. And letting go is so scary because you know that not saving them might mean death..... however the reality is once they are adults you can't save them they can only save themselves.</p><p></p><p>I find it really interesting and supportive that so many of us are getting to the same letting go place. It is nice to know that I am not going through this process alone.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 523689"] Janet - I know I appreciate your caring and support so no need to shut up... and your questions are always good food for thought and discussion. So I have been thinking about this morning... does it matter why they steal or do awful things? I am not sure it matters but I do think substance abuse adds another layer of complication on many levels. Many of us here have kids who were definite difficult children before they started using substances (I think myself, Nancy, Kathy and Patriots girl and others are in this situation). Some of us had kids who were basically PCs before drugs entered the picutre (Signorina, Vligirl and some others too). Yet once substance abuse enters there is a lot in common between the kids. I think if my difficult child had never started using substances some of his issues would have continued (such as stealing) but I think he also did at times have good sense and I think as he matured some of those behaviors may have gotten better. The drug use just complicated and made everything worse. For one thing it stunts your emotional growth so even though my son is 20, emotionally he is closer to 14. The drug use becomes a problem in and of itself, so he still has his original difficult child issues but now also has substance abuse as well. And you really can't deal with the underlying difficult child issues while you are still using which complicates things. And I think as a parent the drug use adds a whole other level of fear. Drugs kill people... they are dangerous in and of themselves. I think all of us with kids with serious drug problems are facing the fact that our kids may overdose from doing those drugs... and so there is this compelling wish to save them from death. The people they meet in the drug world are scary untrustworthy people....They just put themselves at so much more risk. And their difficult child behaviors are worse if they are using drugs... at least that is my experience. So I think being a parent of a drug addict is a rather unique awful experience. And letting go is so scary because you know that not saving them might mean death..... however the reality is once they are adults you can't save them they can only save themselves. I find it really interesting and supportive that so many of us are getting to the same letting go place. It is nice to know that I am not going through this process alone. TL [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
The difficulties of detachment
Top