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Substance Abuse
The difficulties of detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 524891" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Janet for me it is not that non drug using difficult children may be involved in dangerous activities, it was the statement that we are too involved in our difficult children lives. That statement can be made about every member who comes to this board because that is what brought us here. Yes we have the watercooler forum to talk about non difficult child related things but let's face it most of the time we are talking about our difficult children. It does not mean we don't have other lives that don't revolve around our difficult children. It's just that our difficult children substance abuse is what we talk about here. I don't discuss all the non difficult child related activities or thoughts I have every day. </p><p></p><p>When you first came to this board many years ago it was because of your difficult children. Now many years later they have grown and left home and yes you worried about them in the marines or being a cop and that didn't mean you were too involved in their lives. Our difficult children are playing russian roulette every day, they are not just in a dangerous job, they are holding a gun to their heads and firing. We know the only two ways out of addiction are jail or death. Those are two awful options and it takes time for us to accept them. So it's hard to hear that we are too involved in their lives, even when we are struggling every day to detach and we know the outcome is very likely death.</p><p></p><p>The other thing I wanted to mention is that I am sure there are support boards for parents of servicemen and policemen where they talk about the fears they have for their children. That support is what brought them to that board. If they detached from them enough they would not need the board, right? So in essence the fact that we are here means we need the support to help us deal with this, and once we have detached most of us would probably stop posting. I can't imagine wanting to talk about drug use ten years from now when I no longer have contact with my difficult child because of her addiction.</p><p></p><p>Janet I never thought other parents whose children are involved in dangerous jobs did not have to worry. That has never crossed my mind or my lips and I would never tell a parent in that situation to stop worrying.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 524891, member: 59"] Janet for me it is not that non drug using difficult children may be involved in dangerous activities, it was the statement that we are too involved in our difficult children lives. That statement can be made about every member who comes to this board because that is what brought us here. Yes we have the watercooler forum to talk about non difficult child related things but let's face it most of the time we are talking about our difficult children. It does not mean we don't have other lives that don't revolve around our difficult children. It's just that our difficult children substance abuse is what we talk about here. I don't discuss all the non difficult child related activities or thoughts I have every day. When you first came to this board many years ago it was because of your difficult children. Now many years later they have grown and left home and yes you worried about them in the marines or being a cop and that didn't mean you were too involved in their lives. Our difficult children are playing russian roulette every day, they are not just in a dangerous job, they are holding a gun to their heads and firing. We know the only two ways out of addiction are jail or death. Those are two awful options and it takes time for us to accept them. So it's hard to hear that we are too involved in their lives, even when we are struggling every day to detach and we know the outcome is very likely death. The other thing I wanted to mention is that I am sure there are support boards for parents of servicemen and policemen where they talk about the fears they have for their children. That support is what brought them to that board. If they detached from them enough they would not need the board, right? So in essence the fact that we are here means we need the support to help us deal with this, and once we have detached most of us would probably stop posting. I can't imagine wanting to talk about drug use ten years from now when I no longer have contact with my difficult child because of her addiction. Janet I never thought other parents whose children are involved in dangerous jobs did not have to worry. That has never crossed my mind or my lips and I would never tell a parent in that situation to stop worrying. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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