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Substance Abuse
The difficulties of detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 525058" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>TL reading your post brings tears to me eyes. I can feel your fear when you see he is not answering texts or your call. The thought of him roaming the streets is unbearable, and yet you must. At least I know my difficult child has a roof over her head, no electricity or food but it is a roof. Remember when our kids were little and someone would be mean to them? We felt like they were being mean to us, becuse what happened to our children happened to us, we felt it, we worried about how they felt, we wanted to make it better, we wanted to protect them from that. And as they got older they learned how to protect themselves....at least our easy child's did. Our difficult child's got stuck and so we still feel everything they feel as if it is happening to us, and we have to clsoe our minds to those feelings, push them out, so that we can go on living and not completely fall apart.</p><p></p><p>You are so right about our easy child's. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to watch my easy child blossom into the wonderful young lady that she has become. I believe every parent wants to know their children will be OK, that they will be able to take care of themselves and be happy in life. I don't think most parents can rest until they feel that. I know I would hate to die feeling like I do about my difficult child's future.</p><p></p><p>I have been watching a pair of eagles raise their eaglets and the one thing I learned from them is that from very early on they try to teach their young to survive. If one of their eaglets does not fight for his/her share of the food or become assertive to fend off their siblings attacks, they are left to die, the parents stop feeding them. Even the eagles understand that their young needs to be self sufficient to survive and if they aren't they know that their life will be short. Sometimes I wish I could detach like the eagles and let nature take it's course but that's what makes humans different.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that you are hurting so much, that all of us are hurting so much.</p><p></p><p>How was the college visits? Did you have any first impressions?</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 525058, member: 59"] TL reading your post brings tears to me eyes. I can feel your fear when you see he is not answering texts or your call. The thought of him roaming the streets is unbearable, and yet you must. At least I know my difficult child has a roof over her head, no electricity or food but it is a roof. Remember when our kids were little and someone would be mean to them? We felt like they were being mean to us, becuse what happened to our children happened to us, we felt it, we worried about how they felt, we wanted to make it better, we wanted to protect them from that. And as they got older they learned how to protect themselves....at least our easy child's did. Our difficult child's got stuck and so we still feel everything they feel as if it is happening to us, and we have to clsoe our minds to those feelings, push them out, so that we can go on living and not completely fall apart. You are so right about our easy child's. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to watch my easy child blossom into the wonderful young lady that she has become. I believe every parent wants to know their children will be OK, that they will be able to take care of themselves and be happy in life. I don't think most parents can rest until they feel that. I know I would hate to die feeling like I do about my difficult child's future. I have been watching a pair of eagles raise their eaglets and the one thing I learned from them is that from very early on they try to teach their young to survive. If one of their eaglets does not fight for his/her share of the food or become assertive to fend off their siblings attacks, they are left to die, the parents stop feeding them. Even the eagles understand that their young needs to be self sufficient to survive and if they aren't they know that their life will be short. Sometimes I wish I could detach like the eagles and let nature take it's course but that's what makes humans different. I am sorry that you are hurting so much, that all of us are hurting so much. How was the college visits? Did you have any first impressions? Nancy [/QUOTE]
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