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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 764759" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi all,</p><p>First of all, I was brought to tears with your kind responses. Thank you so much. Being in this position is a leap of faith and feels a bit like putting my neck on the proverbial chopping block. </p><p></p><p>Thank you LMS, that has been my intention, not to enable, but to help within reason.</p><p></p><p></p><p>She is and I am proud of her progress so far. She has been consistent these few days in following through with her classes and meeting with her PO. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I am praying for this as well. Thank you LMS for reaching out, I know your plate is extremely full and it means a lot to me.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Nandina. Glad you are back here! I have to be cautious not to relapse myself, into enabling that is. Fortunately, there is much help for Tornado to achieve goals towards sobriety and she is learning to avail herself of that, instead of trying to depend on my resources. </p><p></p><p></p><p>This is my feeling as well, that if my daughters are actively seeking help to be sober, I will be here for them. I told my well kids that if their sister is proving with her actions that she is making effort to be sober, how can I ignore that? I cannot.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad for you and your husband that you were able to see the changes your son made. It is definitely a blessing to get a glimpse of the light that shines within our adult children after so many years of knowing what they are capable of, if they make good choices.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I’m so sorry Nandina. Life can be so difficult. </p><p></p><p></p><p>One day, one step at a time. I will help her get ready for her move to the sober house this afternoon. There, she will continue to have classes and curfew and be with other folks on this journey. Hopefully she will stick to the program. I am grateful the she has these resources available to her. I wish the same could have been for your son. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you so much.</p><p></p><p>So true, Copa. I have not seen this side of Tornado for a long time.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You are correct. Minute by minute. Copa, you are a poet. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you Copa for your kind and powerful words. I truly appreciate your wisdom. My two well daughters have shut down, it is a “no” for them. I understand their reservations and concerns on engaging with their sister at this point. They want more “proof”, more time to test whether or not Tornado will stick to the program. They fear she will slip back and act out as before. Relapse is a possibility, of course. But, Tornado has for the first time, been taking the necessary steps to get back on track. She has not begged to live with me, she knows she has to go to the sober house. Only time will tell what the outcome will be, but, I am thinking about Viktor Frankl and his view of raising the bar for people, to see them as how they could be. To see their light and potential. </p><p></p><p>Thank you Newstart. Prayers are powerful.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Crayola, I think there is always hope. The hard part is knowing it, but dealing with the consequences of bad choices. Knowing when to step back, let go and let God, when to step in and learning to guard our hearts at the same time. Where there is life, there is hope. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you so much Deni. It is different from the past and the past is not that far behind. I am hoping that she does make it through, but relapse will always be looming. So, I have to be prepared either way. I have to continue to work on my own recovery from years of dealing with my two’s addiction. I try to be clear headed, but have my moments.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Fairy, thank you for sharing this viewpoint. I have often mentioned my home having a revolving door when my two would come and go bringing drama and chaos with them, as we struggled to “help” them. My resolve to close that door coincided in 2015 with my joining CD. Hubs and I had gone through years of rearranging our home for Tornado and our grands, as well as Rain, but things only spiraled downward, for all of us.</p><p>There were many times when Tornado would beg to come home, but I had promised myself and my son, that that would not happen. It was not easy, but at the time, it was the right thing. She was not ready to change her life, just wanted a place to stay to continue as is. Not acceptable.</p><p>This time, I see that difference. The door opens for a short time while she works at what is required of her. I am hoping as you put it, that door will be a new room for change. </p><p>We go this evening to the sober home, that means that Tornado will have to keep resolve to remain sober. She will have to follow the rules and make curfew. She will have more freedom than rehab, which in the past has been her downfall. I am hoping her new circle of friends will help her in times of temptation, that she will continue to see that she is capable of having a good life. That she continues to put her faith and trust in God and remains prayerful.</p><p>Only time will tell.</p><p> I will try to remain in the present and be grateful for the gift and beauty of it.</p><p>Thank you dear friends for your love, kindness and prayers.</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 764759, member: 19522"] Hi all, First of all, I was brought to tears with your kind responses. Thank you so much. Being in this position is a leap of faith and feels a bit like putting my neck on the proverbial chopping block. Thank you LMS, that has been my intention, not to enable, but to help within reason. She is and I am proud of her progress so far. She has been consistent these few days in following through with her classes and meeting with her PO. I am praying for this as well. Thank you LMS for reaching out, I know your plate is extremely full and it means a lot to me. Thank you Nandina. Glad you are back here! I have to be cautious not to relapse myself, into enabling that is. Fortunately, there is much help for Tornado to achieve goals towards sobriety and she is learning to avail herself of that, instead of trying to depend on my resources. This is my feeling as well, that if my daughters are actively seeking help to be sober, I will be here for them. I told my well kids that if their sister is proving with her actions that she is making effort to be sober, how can I ignore that? I cannot. I am so glad for you and your husband that you were able to see the changes your son made. It is definitely a blessing to get a glimpse of the light that shines within our adult children after so many years of knowing what they are capable of, if they make good choices. I’m so sorry Nandina. Life can be so difficult. One day, one step at a time. I will help her get ready for her move to the sober house this afternoon. There, she will continue to have classes and curfew and be with other folks on this journey. Hopefully she will stick to the program. I am grateful the she has these resources available to her. I wish the same could have been for your son. Thank you so much. So true, Copa. I have not seen this side of Tornado for a long time. You are correct. Minute by minute. Copa, you are a poet. Thank you Copa for your kind and powerful words. I truly appreciate your wisdom. My two well daughters have shut down, it is a “no” for them. I understand their reservations and concerns on engaging with their sister at this point. They want more “proof”, more time to test whether or not Tornado will stick to the program. They fear she will slip back and act out as before. Relapse is a possibility, of course. But, Tornado has for the first time, been taking the necessary steps to get back on track. She has not begged to live with me, she knows she has to go to the sober house. Only time will tell what the outcome will be, but, I am thinking about Viktor Frankl and his view of raising the bar for people, to see them as how they could be. To see their light and potential. Thank you Newstart. Prayers are powerful. Crayola, I think there is always hope. The hard part is knowing it, but dealing with the consequences of bad choices. Knowing when to step back, let go and let God, when to step in and learning to guard our hearts at the same time. Where there is life, there is hope. Thank you so much Deni. It is different from the past and the past is not that far behind. I am hoping that she does make it through, but relapse will always be looming. So, I have to be prepared either way. I have to continue to work on my own recovery from years of dealing with my two’s addiction. I try to be clear headed, but have my moments. Fairy, thank you for sharing this viewpoint. I have often mentioned my home having a revolving door when my two would come and go bringing drama and chaos with them, as we struggled to “help” them. My resolve to close that door coincided in 2015 with my joining CD. Hubs and I had gone through years of rearranging our home for Tornado and our grands, as well as Rain, but things only spiraled downward, for all of us. There were many times when Tornado would beg to come home, but I had promised myself and my son, that that would not happen. It was not easy, but at the time, it was the right thing. She was not ready to change her life, just wanted a place to stay to continue as is. Not acceptable. This time, I see that difference. The door opens for a short time while she works at what is required of her. I am hoping as you put it, that door will be a new room for change. We go this evening to the sober home, that means that Tornado will have to keep resolve to remain sober. She will have to follow the rules and make curfew. She will have more freedom than rehab, which in the past has been her downfall. I am hoping her new circle of friends will help her in times of temptation, that she will continue to see that she is capable of having a good life. That she continues to put her faith and trust in God and remains prayerful. Only time will tell. I will try to remain in the present and be grateful for the gift and beauty of it. Thank you dear friends for your love, kindness and prayers. New Leaf [/QUOTE]
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