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Parent Emeritus
The double and sometimes triple lives of my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 447968"><p>Actually, it "worked" for me because once I laid it down for him--i.e., no apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing or sincere resolve to change = you no longer have a loving, supportive uncle; instead you have an in-house bouncer who will not interact with you except to restrain you or, if necessary, kick your !@# in self-defense if you take me on. He never stole from me, lied to me (because I simply wouldn't engage him in conversation anymore--would literally leave the dinner table when he sat down to it), or tried to mess with me after that, although he certainly kept it up (to the extent that I would tolerate it, which would've been zero without his mother's insistence on indulging him) with his mother and brother. I am certain that if his mother had adopted my policy with him--i.e., zero tolerance and zero willingness to "re-set" without significant and accounatable negotiation--we might've actually made some headway with him, rather than merely restraining him and patiently awaiting his 18th birthday.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 447968"] Actually, it "worked" for me because once I laid it down for him--i.e., no apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing or sincere resolve to change = you no longer have a loving, supportive uncle; instead you have an in-house bouncer who will not interact with you except to restrain you or, if necessary, kick your !@# in self-defense if you take me on. He never stole from me, lied to me (because I simply wouldn't engage him in conversation anymore--would literally leave the dinner table when he sat down to it), or tried to mess with me after that, although he certainly kept it up (to the extent that I would tolerate it, which would've been zero without his mother's insistence on indulging him) with his mother and brother. I am certain that if his mother had adopted my policy with him--i.e., zero tolerance and zero willingness to "re-set" without significant and accounatable negotiation--we might've actually made some headway with him, rather than merely restraining him and patiently awaiting his 18th birthday. [/QUOTE]
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The double and sometimes triple lives of my difficult child
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