The drama never stops: Got a letter from easy child's boyfriend's stepmother (got that?)

[DDD]

Personally I wouldn't encourage Jumper in ways to see him at work. It's a hairy situation but he is the one who truly "knows" his own family dynamic. Some families travel a very very delicate set of rule in order to coexist and in my humble opinion he is the one who has to make any choices or decisions that might effect his daily living. No matter how bizarre it may be..he's paved a path to success for himself so far and I expect he will in the future too. I can't tell you how wonderful it is that Jumper is into sports and her friends. If she were leading an isolated life her focus would be all on him and not healthy. You've done a great job and are continuing to do so. Hugs. DDD

 

[BusynMember]

Hi and thank you. I didn't push her, she loves sports and people and did it herself.

I would never let her visit J. at work. If I t yped that, it was a typo. I meant to his school football games. She was planning on going there. Her close friend is dating his close friend and he does not go to her school. At this point, I don't think she should go there without either me or hub...and I'm not sure she wants to go at all anymore. I wouldn't let her go unless one of us were with her, and I don't think she needs to see all of his games.

 

[HaoZi]

That was me that mentioned his work, if it's something where they could say hi for a few minutes without it causing problems with his job, because unless he works for his parents I doubt they're hovering over him there. It was just an idea to toss out there, one most teens think of themselves anyway.

 

[BusynMember]

Oh, ok

No, he works hard and she says he can't have visitors at work. Plus he doesn't live close enough to just drop in on.

One thing interesting that I found out was that his father, who graduated from the same school as he now attends, was also a very shy, sweet young boy. He didn't stay that way, did he? I don't know what he was like before he married SM, but he's downright mean to J. now...hateful at times. I wonder if J. will turn out to be like his father one day. It was enough of a thought for me to be glad that Jumper is too young to meet the man she will eventually marry (although in our small community it DOES happen, but he'll be in college next year).

He internalizes a lot and I sure hope I have the chance to get to know him better and give him some second hand mothering, but you never know how somebody will turn out when they he is verbally abused so much and carries so much anger and depression inside of him. I feel so bad for him...

 

[DDD]

You're doing a great job! One time you posted that you were not a "people person" (or were a bit of a loner?) if I recall correctly. Whatever the phrase was it sure isn't reflected by your reactions and choices now. You are showing great compassion and choosing a healthy social couse. I think that's terrific. DDD

 

[BusynMember]

Thanks.
I'm very shy. I'm far better in a crisis situation and far more comfortable with young people than adults. However, I'm good in emergencies, if that makes sense