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The Watercooler
The dumbest question on earth, but I really don't know the answer.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 444291" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok, this is such a dumb question, but I need feedback.</p><p></p><p>Jumper is my fifth child, however my other four kids were not as social as early. My two sons didn't date in high school. My oldest daughter (cough), well, she dated and used drugs, but the kids she associated with usually didn't come to the house or we probably would have thrown them out. Sonic has autism and doesn't date.</p><p></p><p>Jumper has a very nice boyfriend. He's a farmer's kid, two jobs (plus works on the farm), a strong christian, and she is only his second girlfriend. He is very shy and quiet. Tomorrow he is going to spend all day here because he lives an hour away and has to buy his own gas (strict parents...they have money, but he has to work for it). What do I, as a parent, do to make the day long visit enjoyable? I want to try to talk to him a bit, but, like I said, he is shy and quiet and I only want to ask appropriate questions. Any suggestions? What else should I do? This is a small house and there is no way the kids will be off in one room where we barely see one another. This is actually my first experience with having a high schooler's boyfriend coming over. Jumper describes him as a "total geek who loves to read and spends most of his time studying." He also loves sports and is being recruited for football next year (he is going to be a senior this year). </p><p></p><p>We do have a very large back yard with a fire pit and big trampoline. I was thinking of buying a volleyball/badmitten combination because Jumper has been told that she has to bring ALL of her friends over to our house more often. She tends to prefer going elsewhere because she says our house is "boring" but we put our foot down that every third time she is with a friend she has to bring that friend here.</p><p></p><p>I realize I'm making a big deal out of this, but I'm incredibly shy and often find myself speechless and self-conscious with people I don't know. It is hard for me to break the ice, although I do fine once I'm comfortable. It is harder when the other person is also shy. Sometimes I think I may have Aspergers, but I've seen several NeuroPsychs because I have a lot of soft neurological symptoms and not one of them thinks there is any chance of that. Maybe it's because I have a great imagination, but...at any rate...sometimes I am as socially hampered as an Aspie.</p><p></p><p>So...like an Aspie may ask, I am going to ask...how does one behave around a young girl's first boyfriend? I wish I just knew how to act around people I don't know...grrrrrrrrrrrr! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 444291, member: 1550"] Ok, this is such a dumb question, but I need feedback. Jumper is my fifth child, however my other four kids were not as social as early. My two sons didn't date in high school. My oldest daughter (cough), well, she dated and used drugs, but the kids she associated with usually didn't come to the house or we probably would have thrown them out. Sonic has autism and doesn't date. Jumper has a very nice boyfriend. He's a farmer's kid, two jobs (plus works on the farm), a strong christian, and she is only his second girlfriend. He is very shy and quiet. Tomorrow he is going to spend all day here because he lives an hour away and has to buy his own gas (strict parents...they have money, but he has to work for it). What do I, as a parent, do to make the day long visit enjoyable? I want to try to talk to him a bit, but, like I said, he is shy and quiet and I only want to ask appropriate questions. Any suggestions? What else should I do? This is a small house and there is no way the kids will be off in one room where we barely see one another. This is actually my first experience with having a high schooler's boyfriend coming over. Jumper describes him as a "total geek who loves to read and spends most of his time studying." He also loves sports and is being recruited for football next year (he is going to be a senior this year). We do have a very large back yard with a fire pit and big trampoline. I was thinking of buying a volleyball/badmitten combination because Jumper has been told that she has to bring ALL of her friends over to our house more often. She tends to prefer going elsewhere because she says our house is "boring" but we put our foot down that every third time she is with a friend she has to bring that friend here. I realize I'm making a big deal out of this, but I'm incredibly shy and often find myself speechless and self-conscious with people I don't know. It is hard for me to break the ice, although I do fine once I'm comfortable. It is harder when the other person is also shy. Sometimes I think I may have Aspergers, but I've seen several NeuroPsychs because I have a lot of soft neurological symptoms and not one of them thinks there is any chance of that. Maybe it's because I have a great imagination, but...at any rate...sometimes I am as socially hampered as an Aspie. So...like an Aspie may ask, I am going to ask...how does one behave around a young girl's first boyfriend? I wish I just knew how to act around people I don't know...grrrrrrrrrrrr! :) [/QUOTE]
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The dumbest question on earth, but I really don't know the answer.
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