Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
The elephant in the room for all with abusive relatives
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640793" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, first of all, yes, all three of us siblings (and we NEVER see eye to eye) know that Dad is a full blown narcissist. There is no trait listed that he does not possess. Not one. You can not even talk to him about anything but himself or he will space out and not even do the polite "uh-huhs" that most people do. He is only happy when he is the center of attention. He also has an abusive temper. Not only does he say, and has always said, horrible things to us, but he has shoved a poor elderly woman at a dance because HE lost his coat and blamed her. I don't know the specifics, but the group who saw him was horrified. He never took the blame, just ranted as Sis and me about how she made a big deal out of his "little shove." He was abusive to anyone he brought into his life. Nobody was ever spared. Why his girlfriend put up with him for twenty years after my mom left him is a huge mystery to me. </p><p></p><p>My Dad DOES love us though, to the extent that a narcissistic person can love. That means he can only care so deep and no deeper.</p><p></p><p>I would never tell my 90 year old dad I'd never talk to him again due to your stated regrets. In fact, he told ME never to contact him again and then when I tried to call back a few times he would not answer. So I wrote him a short note and dropped it in the mail explaining that I would respect his wishes not to contact him and that he could certain contact me, but that he had to be respectful to me, as I am to him. That may be too much to ask of him, but since I wrote that invitation, I will not feel guilty if he dies and we haven't spoken. It was his decision. I'm done kissing anyone's behind only to be put down and in tears. Not happening. He knows where I live and my phone number and does not have to scream at me.</p><p></p><p>My dad's favorite saying to all of us was, "Not one of your children have given me one moment of pleasure. NOT ONE!"</p><p></p><p>Yet I know he loves us as much as he can.</p><p></p><p>It was my mother who did not love me and, yes, it hurts, but it is not worth how hard I tried to get her to love me and it didn't work in the end. I have learned never to throw myself at anyone again just to get affection. And I don't feel bad about not contacting somebody who asked me not to. My family-of-origin is a sleeping lion and best to let sleeping lions lie.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640793, member: 1550"] Well, first of all, yes, all three of us siblings (and we NEVER see eye to eye) know that Dad is a full blown narcissist. There is no trait listed that he does not possess. Not one. You can not even talk to him about anything but himself or he will space out and not even do the polite "uh-huhs" that most people do. He is only happy when he is the center of attention. He also has an abusive temper. Not only does he say, and has always said, horrible things to us, but he has shoved a poor elderly woman at a dance because HE lost his coat and blamed her. I don't know the specifics, but the group who saw him was horrified. He never took the blame, just ranted as Sis and me about how she made a big deal out of his "little shove." He was abusive to anyone he brought into his life. Nobody was ever spared. Why his girlfriend put up with him for twenty years after my mom left him is a huge mystery to me. My Dad DOES love us though, to the extent that a narcissistic person can love. That means he can only care so deep and no deeper. I would never tell my 90 year old dad I'd never talk to him again due to your stated regrets. In fact, he told ME never to contact him again and then when I tried to call back a few times he would not answer. So I wrote him a short note and dropped it in the mail explaining that I would respect his wishes not to contact him and that he could certain contact me, but that he had to be respectful to me, as I am to him. That may be too much to ask of him, but since I wrote that invitation, I will not feel guilty if he dies and we haven't spoken. It was his decision. I'm done kissing anyone's behind only to be put down and in tears. Not happening. He knows where I live and my phone number and does not have to scream at me. My dad's favorite saying to all of us was, "Not one of your children have given me one moment of pleasure. NOT ONE!" Yet I know he loves us as much as he can. It was my mother who did not love me and, yes, it hurts, but it is not worth how hard I tried to get her to love me and it didn't work in the end. I have learned never to throw myself at anyone again just to get affection. And I don't feel bad about not contacting somebody who asked me not to. My family-of-origin is a sleeping lion and best to let sleeping lions lie. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
The elephant in the room for all with abusive relatives
Top