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Parent Emeritus
The Elephant in the Room
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 583961" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>i am so very sorry Jane, that is a heartbreaking tale. I can't imagine how horrible this has been for all of you. I understand your dilemma and why you would be questioning yourself. Regret is a terrible emotion to feel, however, in your case, I think you might smooth that out with the knowledge that you did the very best you could. Your son's illness does not remove him from the human race where compassion, honor, empathy and kindness are choices he could make........instead he is choosing cruelty, selfishness, manipulation and entitlement. His could use the time he has to make the world a better place, however, he chooses to bring more darkness and pain to others. </p><p></p><p>I too have had the thought that my difficult child could die by the choices she makes, she lives a shaky life style at best, but in reality, what can I do? What more could you do? At some point we have to accept what is and recognize there simply is no more we can do, we just do not have that power. What brings me solace on any level is that I know I've done all I can do, and it certainly sounds to me that you have done all you can do. Now it's about accepting that. I believe the acceptance will (hopefully) eliminate any regrets down the road. I also believe that by expressing your fears now and untangling them, you will be in a better place now and in the future, then if you were not aware of your own fears. I believe your fears and feelings are very appropriate to your circumstance, not easy by a long shot, but certainly normal. It's a tough road you're on, no easy answers, but it sounds to me as if you are doing a great job being honest with yourself and making sound decisions. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this. (((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 583961, member: 13542"] i am so very sorry Jane, that is a heartbreaking tale. I can't imagine how horrible this has been for all of you. I understand your dilemma and why you would be questioning yourself. Regret is a terrible emotion to feel, however, in your case, I think you might smooth that out with the knowledge that you did the very best you could. Your son's illness does not remove him from the human race where compassion, honor, empathy and kindness are choices he could make........instead he is choosing cruelty, selfishness, manipulation and entitlement. His could use the time he has to make the world a better place, however, he chooses to bring more darkness and pain to others. I too have had the thought that my difficult child could die by the choices she makes, she lives a shaky life style at best, but in reality, what can I do? What more could you do? At some point we have to accept what is and recognize there simply is no more we can do, we just do not have that power. What brings me solace on any level is that I know I've done all I can do, and it certainly sounds to me that you have done all you can do. Now it's about accepting that. I believe the acceptance will (hopefully) eliminate any regrets down the road. I also believe that by expressing your fears now and untangling them, you will be in a better place now and in the future, then if you were not aware of your own fears. I believe your fears and feelings are very appropriate to your circumstance, not easy by a long shot, but certainly normal. It's a tough road you're on, no easy answers, but it sounds to me as if you are doing a great job being honest with yourself and making sound decisions. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this. (((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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