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General Parenting
The Explosive Child - Putting "Plan B" into action..
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 249020" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Hi! You're daughter sounds exactly like my difficult child 1.</p><p> </p><p>You know what worked for me? I went word for word out of the book. I said right to him:</p><p> </p><p>"You know what? I'm sick of fighting with you about so many things. What about you - are you sick of it too?"</p><p> </p><p>He said yes.</p><p> </p><p>I said:</p><p> </p><p>"It seems to me that we'd each be happy if we got our own way, right?"</p><p> </p><p>He agreed.</p><p> </p><p>I said:</p><p> </p><p>"Instead of arguing, why don't we sometimes agree to find a way to make us both a little bit happy?" "If I want you to clean up your toys and you want to watch your show, how about if I agree to let you finish that show, turn off the tv and do it AFTER so you don't miss any of the episode that you're watching?"</p><p> </p><p>He really liked the idea.</p><p> </p><p>I like it because it's worked so well that he turned to me on more than one occasion and has said "why don't we try to find a way for us to both be a little bit happy?"</p><p> </p><p>Another thing you might want to try is "prewarn" her before she has to transition to something less desireable to what she's doing (like playing on the computer vs. homework). We start with "10 minute warning!" being announced. Then give a reminder at 5 mins. and then again at 2. I've negated a TON of problems by doing this!</p><p> </p><p>Good luck!</p><p> </p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 249020, member: 3814"] Hi! You're daughter sounds exactly like my difficult child 1. You know what worked for me? I went word for word out of the book. I said right to him: "You know what? I'm sick of fighting with you about so many things. What about you - are you sick of it too?" He said yes. I said: "It seems to me that we'd each be happy if we got our own way, right?" He agreed. I said: "Instead of arguing, why don't we sometimes agree to find a way to make us both a little bit happy?" "If I want you to clean up your toys and you want to watch your show, how about if I agree to let you finish that show, turn off the tv and do it AFTER so you don't miss any of the episode that you're watching?" He really liked the idea. I like it because it's worked so well that he turned to me on more than one occasion and has said "why don't we try to find a way for us to both be a little bit happy?" Another thing you might want to try is "prewarn" her before she has to transition to something less desireable to what she's doing (like playing on the computer vs. homework). We start with "10 minute warning!" being announced. Then give a reminder at 5 mins. and then again at 2. I've negated a TON of problems by doing this! Good luck! Beth [/QUOTE]
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