The Final Straw?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Mar 23, 2008.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, lordy I hope so.

    I'm not exactly sure what happened, but Nichole sent the paperwork in for boyfriend to have to pay child support.

    This was at least a week ago and boyfriend is still livid an pouting. He's trying to lay a guilt trip at her feet. He's been acting more the difficult child than she has ever!

    Too bad the girl sent the paperwork into the child support enforcement agency. lol It's paperwork that the program that pays for her child care gave her. So there will be no going back now. boyfriend will be required to pay support for Aubrey. The real kicker is going to be when he is required to pay 2 years of back child support on top of it !

    easy child says that Nichole told her she did it because she and boyfriend have just too rocky a relationship, she's tired of having to beg him for everything the baby needs and then him whining about how expensive it all is, and it doesn't seem like their relationship is going anywhere.

    Could it be? Is it possible? Has some of what the family has been telling her maybe begun to sink in a little bit??

    Mr. Cheapskate is having a royal fit because since Aubrey went on table food at around 12 mos he hasn't really been buying anything for her. About once a month he buys diapers and wipes. Nichole had to get on WIC to keep the baby in milk ect. Oh, and with the diapers and wipes, half the time it's actually his Mom that buys them. Although here this last quarter he did pay 40 dollars a week for the baby's daycare.

    This when the agreement was supposed to be that Mr. Cheapskate was supposed to buy all her food, clothing, and diapers ect in place of child support.

    It made me mad because when he doesn't do it, it of course falls on husband and I to do it. And we're not flowing in the cash dept these days. Then he has the audacity to ask if he can claim her on his taxes! Uh, NO!

    boyfriend did hold it together well for the holiday. I give him credit. But I can't tell you how often they've been going at it here lately over this. And I'm sure when it comes time to pay up it's gonna get worse.

    Funny thing is, neither of them know that Nichole would've been forced to do it anyway. Since the state is paying for her daycare they require the non custodial parent to be paying child support, especially if the Mom is working and not going to school.

    Nichole told me the other day why she hadn't done it sooner. boyfriend had convinced her this paper they had signed in the hospital stating that boyfriend was the Dad gave them BOTH shared custody of Aubrey. Which meant she couldn't ask for child support.

    The look on her face when I explained to her that the paper was so that boyfriend could visit the baby and her any time being the Dad, was priceless. It had, could not possibly have anything to do with custody of the baby. Since she and boyfriend are not married and have never lived together the state considers her as full custodial parent.

    She learned alot in that short conversation.

    But I can't help but laugh at boyfriend. Seems he has convinced himself that he will explain to them (the state) that he lives at home, is a student who has to pay for school, and they won't take much......

    All the state cares about is how much his pay is before taxes. lol Mr. Cheapskate is in for a rude awakening. State isn't gonna give a hoot about his sob story.

    Do I feel sorry for him? NO. I have warned him for 2 yrs that he was being a fool. There was no garantee that he and Nichole were going to stay together. That if they broke up, not only would he be required to pay support, but also back support for all the time he didn't pay. I tried to keep him from getting into a mess with it. But he wouldn't listen.

    So I guess we'll see. I've had the feeling for some time that one of the reasons boyfriend is reluctant to honestly break it off with Nichole is because he'd have to pay support.

    Ought to be interesting to watch his true colors surface.
  2. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    :not_fair: boo hoo hoo


    Wake up and smell the coffee, raising kids, with all of their needs is EXPENSIVE. It angers me to no end when Fathers whine about having to pay support for the children that they make. ​

    I hope she can collect cause I don't think Dad is going to get much sympathy.:money:
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Should we call him a waambulance?
  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    This could also drive him to find jobs "off the books", so his income appears to be much smaller or nil. Could also happen that he will be showing up and claiming he has brought things or given Nichole money......either way, hoping he doesn't take anything out on difficult child and baby. The other negative is he could get in his mind the idea to try to get the baby and have Nichole give him support.........Hope you can find a successful way to get help for both baby and Nichole......she has not made an easy path, but hope she can find help, happiness and peace........
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Daisy -

    If he claims Aubrey on his taxes first - he will get the deduction. I didn't know this until I had a nice sit down with the IRS regarding Dude years ago. Things may have changed in the past years - but I always tried to file ASAP.

    The audit wasn't fun. And it took 3 years for me to clear up the back taxes jerk owed. And still - sometimes it shows up as a lien on one of the credit reporting companies EVEN though I have sent paperwork a half dozen times verifying the paid amounts, and even though it's been settled!

    Also - don't be too sure that she gets back child support. The judge told my sister if she persisted in this he could drag things out a while. Her attorney told her to take what she was getting and be happy. (Also in Ohio)

    Good luck - yes, one can hope something is sinking in.....finally.

  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Way to go, Nichole! I'm glad she's finally starting to see things for how they are.

    As far as back child support, unless they've changed the law there's nothing to be done. He can only be ordered to pay support from the day there is a court order in place to pay it. IOW, if there was no court order for support for the last 2 years, they can't do anything. If she really wants to pursue that she'll probably have to get her own attorney and it would be expensive. CSE is only going to go from the time of the order forward.

    As far as claiming Aubrey on tax return, he would have to have that special IRS form from Nichole. I forget which one it is. I always claim the kids. easy child's dad is supposed to claim him based on our divorce agreement, but he was behind for a while and he didn't believe me when I told him he needed that form. So, he was claiming easy child for a while, too. IRS didn't care what our divorce agreement said, he had to pay all that back. I refused to give him that form allowing him to claim easy child because the amount of child support he pays is so pathetic. Didn't even come close to covering 50% of actual cost to support easy child.

    I agree; it will be interesting to see boyfriend's true colors. But, will you really be surprised? I think he's going to be more upset that Nichole is finally going against him - questioning him - than he is about paying support. I think he likes it that he can tell Nichole what to do. If she starts gaining some independence, he's going to feel threatened. If he's anything like my ex, he'll carry on and make an :censored2: out of himself, but he won't actually pursue anything with Aubrey. He doesn't want the responsibility.
  7. dirobb

    dirobb I am a CD addict

    Here CSE will go back as far as the help they have provided has been in effect regardless of the orders in place. Once we finally had orders in place difficult child was about 8. The OAG wanted back support for the welfare they had given out we got a settlement amount of about 10K. So we had to pay support and arrears and no one knew where mom and difficult child were. The state could not find her and no one collected for awhile. Once payment was being picked up/mailed we asked for help with finding them to exercise visitation. No one could help with that. I was livid. Now the shoe is on the other foot and we have unreimbursed medical expenses. I don't think we will ever see a dime.

    Good for Nicole, I hope she is finally opening her eyes. Maybe she will learn to confirm what he's telling her and not take his word for everything. That in itself can be very enlightening.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad Nichole filed the paperwork, but I agree with Heather, she may not get anything for back child support. Here in California, they count from when the order was approved, not from the time of separation. I learned that one the hard way. Make sure you have all boyfriend's info, like his Social Security number, driver's license number, even a copy of his birth certificate, bank account number if he has one. It may come in handy down the road. Having all that info helped me with Miss KT's useless father when I sent Family Support after him. Not only did Family Support take his tax refunds, they attached an escrow account years later, and I got some of the back support.
  9. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    In some cases, Wynter may be right about the back child support. I know when I divorced, even though there was no question that my son was my ex's child, I couldn't collect one dime in back child support for the time before the court order was signed ordering child support! He paid a little bit, WHEN he felt like it, IF he felt like it, but never paid the full amount until the order was signed and the child support was taken out of his paycheck. He delayed paying the full amount for six months! He hem-hawed and nit-picked and drug his feet about signing the papers and got away with paying almost nothing from January through June of that year! Yep, they can do that! And not that I would have ever done this, but how fair is it that if I had also refused to support our son, I would have gone to jail for child neglect!

    Here the State is pretty useless in helping single working moms collect child support. BUT ... if you receive any kind of State assistance for the child, any kind of welfare or food stamps or day care expenses ... the State will go after the father with a vengence to get reimbursed for what they had to pay out for the child! They will track them down with bloodhounds if necessary! And they don't give a rat's rear if "daddy" has enough left to live on when they get done with him ... they will get theirs! So, hopefully, if she's been receiving State assistance for child care, the State will make him pay back support so they can get that $$$ back. And I would expect that "daddy" will make a half-hearted attempt to get custody and start slinging accusations around because he'll be thinking that he won't have to pay child support if HE has the baby and he'll be dumb enough to think that it would be cheaper that way!

    Does this guy have any idea how much it costs to raise a child these days? Apparently not!
  10. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Yes it will.

    Good for Nichole! :bravo:

  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Donna -

    It was that way in Georgia, too (ex #1). The support order didn't go into effect until both parties signed the papers.

    Not the case in Ohio (ex #2). As soon as somebody starts the process, an order for support is issued.

    Also, in Ohio ALL child support goes through child support enforcement. In Georgia, it only happens when the custodial parent takes it to them because the non-custodial parent is behind. He could be behind for ever and if s/he pays up before child support enforcement takes action (which in Cobb County GA could take 6 months at that time) they drop it. Then you would have to wait for him to get behind again and start over.

    It really burned my ex (#1) when I went through child support enforcement in Ohio. He thought that since he was making payment towards the arrearage (he started doing that 2 months after I contacted CSE), they wouldn't do anything. He was so wrong.

    I love it when I'm right. :devil:

    Dept of Job and Family Services and child support enforcement's computer systems are linked. If Nichole received cash assistance and/or medicaid, she would have to start the child support process. DJFS would contact CSE to start the process. It's in the Ohio Revised Code. I could have told you what section, but can't remember off the top of my head. It's also required if Aubrey receives medicaid, but they don't enforce it as hard. They're not going to deny a child medical coverage. However, they will deny the adult medicaid if s/he refuses to pursue child support enforcement.

    So, as much as I hope Nichole is doing this because she's starting to see the light, I wonder if she's doing it because she's being forced to? (Doesn't she receive medicaid?)

    Either way, it's a good thing.
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Nichole receives medicaid. However the hitch is that Aubrey does not. boyfriend has her covered under his insurance, which is good insurance. According to Nichole's CW the support is not an issue since the baby isn't using the insurance.

    However, that same rule applies to the childcare. It just hasn't caught up with them yet. (boyfriend was having Nichole tell them he has joint custody and he doesn't) And no, Nichole doesn't know unless she actually read thru the paperwork. (doubtful) And she'd have told me if she was doing it to get the childcare paid for.

    I don't care much if boyfriend has to pay back support. While he hasn't done so well at holding up his end of the agreement since she turned a year old, he hasn't left Nichole holding the bag entirely either. I just want Nichole and Aubrey covered for if they should split.

    I don't think boyfriend would ever go for custody, even joint. His interest has wained as Aubrey has aged, and it's all Nichole can do to get him to watch her while she goes to work.
  13. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Lisa -

    I didn't word that well. I wasn't trying to imply that Nichole wasn't telling you. I just wondered if she got a little push from DJFS.

    When I signed up my kids for medicaid in October, they didn't do anything about child support. (I had dropped the child support case against easy child's dad in 2005 or 2006 because the state changed all the interstate case numbers and Georgia couldn't get it right. It was delaying my payment by about 6 weeks and every month it was a dozen phone calls to get it straightened out.) But, when I applied for medicaid, they started it again (there was a gap in the time because I had to get a copy of my birth certificate). The child support interstate caseworker called me because she knew how much of a jerk my ex has been and wanted to give me a heads up. She told me it was because I applied and that while technically anytime there is an application for medicaid and there is a child support issue it's supposed to be handled through them, they don't push it if only the kids are covered because they're not going to deny coverage to children. They would, however, deny my coverage if I didn't send the case back through CSE. I even made her give me the section of the Revised Code because I knew my ex was going to make a stink. Which he did. At least he's predictable.

    Nichole's relationship with her boyfriend reminds me so much of mine with ex #1. I feel a kinship of sorts with Nichole because I just feel like I can call the next move, Know what I mean?? I'm rooting for her all the time and I do believe that she is going to 'outgrow' boyfriend. She's growing up, maturing. He's not. Or so it seems.

    Nichole is starting to see the light much sooner than I did, too. Little steps. But, I believe, eventually those little steps will lead her away from boyfriend. And onto someone that deserves her and Aubrey.