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Parent Emeritus
The first Christmas without difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 570940" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I think you did the right thing. For yourself and your husband and your grand daughter. It sounds like a wonderful time was had by all and I don't blame you one bit for wanting your day to continue on that peaceful path. </p><p></p><p>I know other relatives are not the same as our own children, but I was very close (sister close) to my difficult child cousin. I busted my hide for years and years at holidays and birthdays etc to host nice family meals and to have everyone together. Some times difficult child cousin would be a wonderful addition. Usually I only realized it after it was all over because I'd be waiting for the shoe to drop so to speak. More times than not, I felt sick ahead of time worrying if it would be ok. I noticed other family vibes to her mood and at times we had entire special days ruined in some way because of it. This year it was only S/O and easy child and myself and I was quiet and utterly different than normal but peaceful and loving and gosh so wonderfully predictable. I knew we would all enjoy ourselves and be happy and laughing and smiling. It was different in all of the best ways. I did feel a twinge or two when thinking of difficult child cousin. But I know she can't be unaware how her moods affect others. She ultimately controls her own destiny and behaviors. While we don't need to tag along for the ride at our own expense. I'm so glad that you went with your gut and ended up having a fantastic day. I bet your grand daughter won't forget it either.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 570940, member: 4264"] I think you did the right thing. For yourself and your husband and your grand daughter. It sounds like a wonderful time was had by all and I don't blame you one bit for wanting your day to continue on that peaceful path. I know other relatives are not the same as our own children, but I was very close (sister close) to my difficult child cousin. I busted my hide for years and years at holidays and birthdays etc to host nice family meals and to have everyone together. Some times difficult child cousin would be a wonderful addition. Usually I only realized it after it was all over because I'd be waiting for the shoe to drop so to speak. More times than not, I felt sick ahead of time worrying if it would be ok. I noticed other family vibes to her mood and at times we had entire special days ruined in some way because of it. This year it was only S/O and easy child and myself and I was quiet and utterly different than normal but peaceful and loving and gosh so wonderfully predictable. I knew we would all enjoy ourselves and be happy and laughing and smiling. It was different in all of the best ways. I did feel a twinge or two when thinking of difficult child cousin. But I know she can't be unaware how her moods affect others. She ultimately controls her own destiny and behaviors. While we don't need to tag along for the ride at our own expense. I'm so glad that you went with your gut and ended up having a fantastic day. I bet your grand daughter won't forget it either. [/QUOTE]
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The first Christmas without difficult child
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