The Good, Bad and Ugly of this Christmas

[Mom2oddson]

The Good is really great....My parents got us a laptop for Christmas. As soon as I can get the internet hooked up at home, I'll have computer access again. I won't have to wait for a quiet time at work to get on-line!!

The Bad...husband came home from New York with a nasty bug and was sick for most of Christmas. He's doing better now.

And the Ugly... EG and difficult child-S hit new heights in dysfunction. For the last 20 years EG has had a BIG Christmas Eve party. husband met EG for breakfast on Christmas Eve, he figured it would be best to meet before the party since he hadn't seen or talked to her since she took difficult child-S. And to give her a gift and to say he didn't know how long he'd be able to stay for her party. EG tells husband that she isn't having a party that night. She's only doing Christmas Day... the time we spend with my parents. That husband needs to come on Christmas Day and either not see my parents or make it a very short visit. difficult child-S was supposed to come to our house Christmas Day. That morning, she sends a text to difficult child-A to say she won't come to our house. (Another ploy to get husband to come to EGs?).... Oh, turns out that EG DID have her annual Christmas Eve party too.

But, their head-games didn't work. We went to the Christmas Eve party that EG's sisters were having and Christmas Day, we had my parents and our boys over. It was a great time. And we didn't get pulled into their games. difficult child-S's gifts are still sitting under the tree. Told husband, when I put the decorations away, I'll pack up the gifts and put them away until she decided to visit us.

You would think, after all these years, I wouldn't be shocked by the level these people can sink to. Yet, I was shocked. I couldn't believe that someone would try and manipulate that much. Someday I will learn not to be shocked. I was proud of how well husband handled all of this. It was hard for him, but he didn't give in to them. He's had a lot of guilt though.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[ML]

I'm proud of husband for holding firm with his boundaries and that you managed to have some happy moments over the holiday.

 

[Shari]

I guess I shouldn't be shocked either, but I am.

Good job for enjoying your holiday, tho.

 

[witzend]

Oy... it sounds all so familiar! I'm glad that you didn't get suckered into their stuff, and that you were able to have a good time without them.

 

[Suz]

Yep, you all did GREAT!

Suz

 

[Star*]

WOW - that man should get a plate of cookies!!! BRAVO DUDE!

And you should get....a diamond tennis bracelet. Or you could take the gifts back....and get yourself something nice.

 

[rejectedmom]

Good job! Glad you had a nice holiday in spite of all the nonsence. -RM

 

[XerSib]

The good - difficult child was on his best behavior during the "core family" portion of the day.

The bad - difficult child came within a hair's breadth of having a meltdown during the "extended family" and close family friends Christmas dinner.

The ugly - difficult child's (and my) folks made some statements hinting at their current and future life plans indicating: 1) too high of a financial burn rate to ensure well funded special needs trust, 2) stubbornly being dug in to staying in California no matter what (actually probably too late now to contemplate downsize / relo), 3) probably no plan to set up difficult child's housing arrangement prior to their passing, 4) still giving difficult child perq's and extras well beyond basic needs to "make him feel better," 5) giving few if any basic life skills (some things very basic - manners, how to hold a fork and knife, communication skills, human nature, etc).

Sigh ...