I have developed a theory Perhaps I can work this up into a self-help book: The Habit Theory, or how to turn your difficult child around by fostering good habits... I can see it on the shelves now Seriously, though, I realised that I am working to a principle with J that I haven't seen written about anywhere (bound to be - there's nothing new under the sun) even though it is rather obvious. As I have described, J is a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde character (Mr Hyde is the baddie, of course). Depending on how I act with him, he is either sweet, co-operative and quite mature, or he is defiant, choleric, abusive and aggressive. So... since I seem to have the power to change the course of events, I am working to the notion that the more often he is peaceful and friendly in his reactions, the more he is creating this habit - and the more he creates the habit, the stronger it will be, and the weaker the tendency to act in unsocial, destructive ways. What do you think?