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General Parenting
The heart of a difficult child mom
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 253346" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>you have very good questions here. I think it has to be different for each one of us, partly depending on what the beloved difficult child did to us.</p><p></p><p>Being able to recognize the anger and acknowledge it is a major step. Many people will not do that. </p><p></p><p>Part of the forgiveness process is related to whatever makes you forget all the pain of pregnancy and labor and delivery. Whatever mental/emotional mechanism lets you forget the agony of childbirth so that you think doing it again is a good idea surely is at play in the process of forgiving our difficult children for the scars they have caused.</p><p></p><p>I know it took a LOT of soul searching and therapy and just plain hard work for me to forgive Wiz. But I HAVE, and it is an amazingly freeing feeling.</p><p></p><p>You are already partway down the path, and with the inner strength and grace you have shown throughout your ordeals of the last few years you will find your way through the anger to forgiveness.</p><p></p><p>I can honestly say I was a very good part of the way to forgiving my gfgbro for all the things he did to me and then he started in on my children. ALL that anger came rushing back to give me more fuel to protect my babies. I am still struggling back down that path. I honestly think if it were not for my parents I wouldn't bother. There is just not enough external reward for all the pain of having him in our lives. BUT I know that there are INTERNAL rewards I will get for forgiving him and moving on past the rage.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find what you need to help you on this journey.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 253346, member: 1233"] you have very good questions here. I think it has to be different for each one of us, partly depending on what the beloved difficult child did to us. Being able to recognize the anger and acknowledge it is a major step. Many people will not do that. Part of the forgiveness process is related to whatever makes you forget all the pain of pregnancy and labor and delivery. Whatever mental/emotional mechanism lets you forget the agony of childbirth so that you think doing it again is a good idea surely is at play in the process of forgiving our difficult children for the scars they have caused. I know it took a LOT of soul searching and therapy and just plain hard work for me to forgive Wiz. But I HAVE, and it is an amazingly freeing feeling. You are already partway down the path, and with the inner strength and grace you have shown throughout your ordeals of the last few years you will find your way through the anger to forgiveness. I can honestly say I was a very good part of the way to forgiving my gfgbro for all the things he did to me and then he started in on my children. ALL that anger came rushing back to give me more fuel to protect my babies. I am still struggling back down that path. I honestly think if it were not for my parents I wouldn't bother. There is just not enough external reward for all the pain of having him in our lives. BUT I know that there are INTERNAL rewards I will get for forgiving him and moving on past the rage. I hope you can find what you need to help you on this journey. [/QUOTE]
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