My son is 20 and has been battling addiction for 7 years. He has been in a few treatment facilities. The last where, he celebrated 3 birthdays; 18, 19 & 20. This time showed so much hope. I was finally breathing a sigh of relief. Life still held lots of ups and downs but there was light at the end of the tunnel. He received intense individual and group therapy, graduated high school and finally graduated the rehabilitation program. I thought this time would be different. I thought he'd have a new respect for himself. I thought he valued family over drugs and that he'd learned enough through this past extensive residential treatment center that he'd be okay. I was wrong. He graduated from the treatment facility and quickly returned to substance abuse. He is now in custody awaiting a hearing for a B&E which he claims is because he 'got into some bad drugs' and they made him do things he wouldn't normally do. I have heard this story so many times. Blame, blame, blame, anyone but himself. He lies to get whatever he wants and has no qualms about doing so. However, he's my son and I love him to pieces. I love him. I loathe his choices and behaviors. I really thought 2+ years of extensive therapy would change his thought patterns. I and other family spent his early teen years bailing him out of jail, finding suitable treatment, paying exorbitant fees for his treatment. It was made very clear to him that we were done helping him unless he helped himself. I am feeling so lost now. I feel like a death has occurred but there is no body to bury. The grief is so heavy I cannot sleep, I cannot eat and I'm terrified for my son and what he has brought to himself. I know I did not cause this, I cannot change it nor can I cure him. I just wish he could gather the courage and strength to change.