The inmate...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Aug 15, 2007.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Shall we take bets on what todays phone call say?

    He has court today on multiple traffic violations ranging from speeding to not wearing a seatbelt. And everything in between. He doesnt have a license so of course the car isnt insured or tagged if he was driving his car. It could have been someone elses car which would be a good thing for him...would be just driving while revoked, seatbelt and speeding...sigh. Then he had a criminal court case for larceny of gas too. Busy boy!

    I cant wait to find out what they do to him for all this. Im expecting time served for the driving charges...thats what they seem to only do around here. But the gas station is really pushing hard on the larceny charges. They have him dead to rights and it is the second time they got him. He was already on probation for one charge of this from back last summer and it went to court in the winter I think. Or something like that. So they arent playing. They have him on camera. I believe it happened right around the same time as the first charge but this is the second drive off so they are prosecuting for the second one too. Im not sure really and dont really care...lol. He has a lawyer for this one so it should be interesting to see what happens.

    Im expecting a phone call tonite with more pleading and more harassing. Last nights call was all about how I shouldnt be trying to teach him a lesson and its not fair and how we should get him out and blah blah blah. I told him I didnt have the money and he stole my money. LOL. He doesnt want to listen to that. I told him point blank that if all he was in for was the previous charges we might talk but that because he STOLE FROM ME that I wasnt going to do a darn thing for him. He needed to take this time to figure out what he needed to do to change his life. He didnt want to hear that and started getting belligerent with me which I found incredibly funny and I laughed at him and asked him if he thought yelling at me from lock up was gonna make me come running to his aid...at which point he hung up on me...lmao.

    Oh well...maybe he will get the message that he cant jerk me around anymore. Ya think?
     
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    One would think so, but with these difficult child's we never know?????

    If he continues to treat you this way you should put an end to his phone calls. You don't deserve to be treated this way by someone who has treated you so badly.
     
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I remember those types of phone calls from Rob, Janet. They exhausted me and filled me with rage and righteous indignation.

    At some point I decided I'd had enough and changed my tactic. Then, when he would call filled with excuses and mayhem, I'd tell him to call back when he was calm, I would say good bye and hang up. Nicely. It took the repetition of making the statement and hanging up several times for Rob to finally get it- that I wasn't going to engage further. It made a big difference for both of us in the long run.

    Suz
     
  4. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Oh, Janet!

    Like you haven't been through enough, already.

    I agree with Kfld that you should put some distance between your life and Cory's ~ well, that isn't exactly what she said, but you know what I mean.

    Whatever is coming next for Cory, there just isn't much you can do about it. Allowing him to commit verbal abuse over the phone on your dime has to stop.

    You need time to recover from the trauma of the past few weeks. Listening to Cory bemoan his fate when you told him a thousand times not to do what he went ahead and did anyway is not going to help Cory, and will make your own healing process more difficult.

    How ARE you handling all this, Janet?

    Where in the world are you able to find time to nurture yourself? Your husband must be adding his own two cents worth of stress to the situation, too (mine always does!).

    How are your other sons taking everything? (I checked out the photos on Watercooler? Now, that Jamie is one nice looking young man!)

    Holding you and yours in my thoughts and prayers, Janet.

    Barbara

    :smile:
     
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am actually finding the whole trading of information process rather hysterical to be honest.

    Maybe I am warped or maybe I watch too many episodes of CSI and Law and Order but I almost wait by the phone (ok..carry the phone!) and cant wait to hear his latest bit of baloney that he spews! Its like a bit of high drama in my life right now. My own little sitcom.

    It doesnt bother me a bit when he starts ranting at me. I start laughing at him which really irks him. Im waiting for him to try changing tactics on me soon to see if that works any better. It wont because I am ready for it too. I have him all figured out by now. He fooled me one time...ok more than once...but he isnt doing it again.
     
  6. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    Janet, You are handling it all so remarkedly... :) With humor to boot. Sad that he is there but hey I don't guess he has ever figured out that he is not very good at breaking the law. Geeze you would seriously think that one would get that eventually considering they always get caught but they don't. maybe when he does call to do his lil whine fest you should remind him that you are now financially strapped due to his misdeed and that you just might consider putting a block on collect calls because hes becoming tooooo expensive.
     
  7. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Janet you are doing good but you are still giving him attention even when he whines. I suggest you put distance and put even more limits on the phone calls. It used to upset me so much to talk to my son while he was in jail. It wound up ruining my whole night. We got cell phones and stopped our normal phone service. then we started writing letters and visiting after a while. Letters can be good in a way - they think long enough to write down their feelings but they can still lie. You just cant here them and they cant verbally abuse you. See what you think.
     
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Last nights call was all about how I shouldnt be trying to teach him a lesson and its not fair and how we should get him out and blah blah blah. </div></div>

    Honestly, Janet, I would tell him that you are not trying to teach him a lesson, you're just done! It's not like you can do anything about it anyway, you're not the one pressing charges, you're just a witness to the bank's case against him. And you're not going to lie under oath.

    Does he not get it that the phone conversations are recorded? He's tampering with and/or intimidating a witness. He should just be glad that you don't report him.
     
  9. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Well, like they say, laughter is the best medicine, so just keep laughing. You are doing great.
     
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He didnt want to hear that and started getting belligerent with me which I found incredibly funny and I laughed at him and asked him if he thought yelling at me from lock up was gonna make me come running to his aid...at which point he hung up on me...lmao. </div></div>

    This is so Nichole. You'd think it might occur to them that if you're gonna treat someone like crap they probably aren't gonna want to help you. :slap: The family is still trying to get this simple fact thru to Nichole.

    Ought to be interesting to say the least. I hope this time around is his wake up call.

    Glad you can laugh.

    (((hugs)))
     
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    I'd say he's teaching himself a lesson...and failing miserably.

    I remember YEARS ago a therapist told us to say this when J ranted or blamed. "I understand your frustration. I hope you find a way to deal with it."

    When we would say that to him, he would rage because we wouldn't engage.

    I haven't followed your story too much lately (everyone has *something* going on), but from my too frequent prison/jail experiences, I would NOT take collect calls from him. They must have a small way of earning a dollar here or there. It's just whether he'll choose it to spend it on you.

    J was making about $1.25/day. Is that a lot? Heck no. But, if it was his intent to make us feel guilty, pay for his mistakes, and still be a jerk - I'm not playing anymore. We just blocked all collect calls. This inferiated him. It actually made him start to...(drumroll) write letters. :surprise: He'd spend that meager amount of money on cigarettes. Please...

    I'll be interested in seeing what transpired.

    Abbey
     
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