The Jeff Gordon Shirt

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by On_Call, Apr 20, 2007.

  1. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    About a month ago you may remember that I posted about difficult child being bullied at school and staff telling him "not to tattle". One of the bullying sessions included two boys sort of ganging up on difficult child and telling him that Jeff Gordon "stinks" and that if difficult child wanted to play with them, he'd have to remove his t-shirt, which poor difficult child did, as he was attempting to not rock the boat. (Poor kind wants so much to be liked.) Apparently, he spent most of the day in his white undershirt and cried to me about it that night.

    This was just before the medication toxicity day, etc.

    difficult child said he was never going to wear the shirt to school again and I told him he should wear it if he wanted to and that if the boys gave him any trouble to tell therapist, who he sees every day. He hasn't worn it since, but this morning as I was blow drying my hair, I caught a glimpse of him going down the stairs to get breakfast and I saw Jeff Gordon smiling at me from difficult child's back. I have to admit, I grinned right back at Mr. Gordon. :wink:

    Before difficult child got on the bus, he and I talked about it and he said he didn't care what they said at school. He said if they tease him, he will spend his free time doing something else today and ignore it.

    Could this be progress? We'll see, but I have to admit that I am still grinning about it.
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    How very cool! It's always so nice to see our difficult children develop a sense of self with the confidence that goes along with it. kt wears "creative" outfits & at times, gets teased. She's learned to stand up for herself. Her teachers/counselors at day treatment frequently smile & comment on kt's very colorful wardrobe. They love that she stands up for herself.

    I hope that your difficult child has a good day.
  3. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    Just curious - did you mean to say that the staff intentionally asked your son to not tell you about being bullied at school? If so, what were your thoughts (and actions) about that?

    I ask because I have personal experience - both with my sons and myself - with such a situation, i.e. being bullied and then being told by staff not to discuss it at home.

  4. nlg319

    nlg319 New Member

    Way to go! Good for him...made me smile!
  5. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Linda and nlg319,

    So far, so good - no calls from school, so if there have been "moments" today, apparently difficult child is keeping it under control. I was so glad to know that he won't necessarily be stifled by comments from others.

    Our easy child is the one who actually comes up with more creative outfits. She wants to be on the edge of fashion. lol. I think when she hits the teen years we will really be in trouble. EEK!


    The "no tattling" thing was more along the line that the staff didn't want to deal with matters between the students. They weren't directing him not to tell us something - only that they didn't want the kids running to staff each time they had an issue with another student. Still ticked me off, though. difficult child made commments that he would "just deal with it" and that he "deserved it". GRRR.

    Thanks all!
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Fingers crossed, go Jeff Gordon!!!
  7. Just keep swimming

    Just keep swimming New Member

    Way To Go difficult child!!!! by the way he has awesome taste in Nascar drivers!! LOL!!

  8. oceans

    oceans New Member

    That is so great that he wore it anyway. Good for him!!!
  9. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Good for him!!!! Way To Go!
  10. tracy551

    tracy551 New Member

    Two thumbs up for difficult child and Jeff Gordon!!!! I bet those kids like Gordon too they just were looking for an excuse.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good for difficult child!!
  12. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Well, the day went without incident!

    difficult child admitted last night that he was worried, but said therapist had told him not to let the others "win". That was his motivation for wearing Jeff Gordon!

    I have to admit, I held my breath for a phone call yesterday until I knew difficult child was on the bus home.

    Thanks everyone!
  13. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

  14. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    From the parent of one child (easy child) who has always marched to her own drummer in terms of style :bravo: for your difficult child!!!!!

    In terms of "winning" - it's what I tell difficult child all the time. I tell difficult child that if he gets angry or frustrated because of something someone does, or something he doesn't want to do - he has lost. Keep your eye on the prize and don't allow others to dictate your life or your consequences. Tough lesson.

    Glad your difficult child believes in who is is!

  15. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Thanks, ladies. Yes, difficult child decided (with therapist's help and my encouragement) that he should not let others dictate his clothing choices. And, this time it had good results.

    He said the other boys didn't even mention his shirt this time. I suspect it had much more to do with the fact that the boys knew they could get his goat by going the J. Gordon route that particular day than it had to do with his choice of clothing anyway, but for difficult child, it would have been so easy for him to associate the negativity with that darn shirt. So, for him, it was a definite step that he wore it successfully.

    Still makes me smile! :smile: