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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 400413" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>His best friend's Dad doesn't want him to see his son? That would have to be cleared before any "playdates" would be arranged. Would this dad be a good role model for him? Can you talk with the dad and see if he would partner with you to set boundaries for visitations of the boys? Would he be willing to supervise some of the times?</p><p> </p><p>If he is willing to give it a try, I would set up short visiting times. If everyone knows the end time ahead of time it will be easier to stop the activities. Don't be lulled into the "It is going so well, I will let him stay longer" feeling. Let the times end on the good notes.</p><p> </p><p>The boys are old enough to spell out some rules everytime they get together. "O.K., You both have 2 hours before friend has to leave. The rules are 1. No fighting 2. Be respectful of each other 3. Take turns ect., ect., ect. You know the areas they will struggle with most and set the boundaries up to control those things. Then, they must be supervised with lots of visual updates (go SEE what they are doing) and listening for any trouble.</p><p> </p><p>If the best friend's dad will not agree to let his son get together with this boy, check around to see if there is someone else you can set up structured times with. Who likes legos? Who likes tossing the ball around? </p><p> </p><p>Then, talk with this boy afterwards about how the time went. What did he like? Did it feel good to have a friend who shared and cooperated? Always point out the positive. He did a good job when he let his friend go first or wasn't that nice of your friend to let you choose first?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 400413, member: 5096"] His best friend's Dad doesn't want him to see his son? That would have to be cleared before any "playdates" would be arranged. Would this dad be a good role model for him? Can you talk with the dad and see if he would partner with you to set boundaries for visitations of the boys? Would he be willing to supervise some of the times? If he is willing to give it a try, I would set up short visiting times. If everyone knows the end time ahead of time it will be easier to stop the activities. Don't be lulled into the "It is going so well, I will let him stay longer" feeling. Let the times end on the good notes. The boys are old enough to spell out some rules everytime they get together. "O.K., You both have 2 hours before friend has to leave. The rules are 1. No fighting 2. Be respectful of each other 3. Take turns ect., ect., ect. You know the areas they will struggle with most and set the boundaries up to control those things. Then, they must be supervised with lots of visual updates (go SEE what they are doing) and listening for any trouble. If the best friend's dad will not agree to let his son get together with this boy, check around to see if there is someone else you can set up structured times with. Who likes legos? Who likes tossing the ball around? Then, talk with this boy afterwards about how the time went. What did he like? Did it feel good to have a friend who shared and cooperated? Always point out the positive. He did a good job when he let his friend go first or wasn't that nice of your friend to let you choose first? [/QUOTE]
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