So here I am back again..thank god you are all still here but wish it wasn't so. Read from time to time over the years and often recommend board to patients for resources will try a quick timeline to get up to date
2007 &2008 difficult child finally quits using drugs when baby daughter is born/gets on track in his "difficult child" fashion albeit without the added issues of substance abuse. Last use night before her birth. husband retires
2009 Me lose 20 year job plant closure.husband relapses to use after 17 years sobriety/difficult child moves home to help
mid 2009 husband goes to rehab. I begin school again for 3rd college degree
late 2009 no improvement I leave home get new home without husband but continue relationship with visits daily conversations etc. cannot seem to move on with life. Co-dependancy disease better but not gone
2010 baby girl turns 2 find out "granddaughter" actually not blood this via text message received while on way to one of my best friends funerals. Still in turmoil J (difficult child) devastated child not his child lives with us shared custody. Family , everyone us, great grandparents, cousins aunts uncles thrown into chaos with update of childs birth line. New (found) father and J physical altercation. Mother knew truth all along, J robbed of daughter bio dad robbed of over two years of childs life. Family confab ties cut outcome as no legal rights. J does not relapse
2010 husband falls further into the abyss. Police find in ditch on road one day, no id. Me on a placement for school get call husband being helicoptered to Detroit for immediate surgery
April 2010 days turn to weeks hospital husband on life support brain tumors back, say last words and then just watch as he is kept artificially alive
May 2010 hospital wants decision "Good Lord" no not again, faced this once before do not feel I have the parts to do again. Overwhelmed difficult child a damn rock takes care of husband street mess, helps in every way. Issues with border crossingdue to record finally allowed as father dieing last wish. We arrive husband passes hours later
May 2010 too many decisions cannot focus or think, difficult child remains a rock writes eulogy and covers every step with me of aftermath
June July passed in a haze of tears and guilt difficult child keeps life running . Mom breaks down
Aug 2010 Mom brings husband to his final resting place our pact our promise to each other. Miles aways sailing from Grenada find the island in the sun he desired. Say our goodbyes
Sept 2010 return to school for final year some how get grades to receive Deans Honor. Still feeling scrambled, join bereavment group.we pull each other through. difficult child remains rock helpful and reliable all the way
Easter 2011 comes, family dinner one of our firsts holidays.devastation. phone rings. difficult child's best friend attacked while serving a prison sentence stabbed 47 times on life support. Being taken off once family arrives.
devastation again, not another loss
Mom goes away for weekend needs to regroup, while gone phone call comes difficult child best friend not going to make it after all. difficult child goes out roaring drunk gets into a physical altercation at a bar.All anger of last two years comes out.
2 weeks later police in driveway, handcuffed with whole neighborhood watching, difficult child taken to jail.
The wait is on court dates come and go remand, remand they want federal time.
Finally released on bail.
2011 mom keeps going focusing on school keeps focus off of chaos surrounding life.Mom meets another widower at a support group agrees to a date. Seriously good to share devastation of loss with another as friends don't want to hear it think should be "over it". It is our first shared activity and how our relationship started.
2011 difficult child remains clean and sober, best friend amazingly pulls through off life support but still incarcerated
Friend hangs on against all odd survives attack and after months of hospitalization is taken back to prison.
2011 Mom graduates, feels like a very hollow victory, Deans award but of no importance everything and everyone in life seems to be gone from me
2011 start new job-counselling addicts- lord knows I have an education in that and it did not just take place in college
2012 discovery, disclosure all done, down to famous final scene. Court. difficult child devastated witnessing his actions caught on film horrified at act. Sentence comes down. Thank god and the lawyer provincial time only. difficult child taken from court in cuffs shakles to prison.
2012 months in prison, Mom never visits after first one. Attend jail difficult child two black eyes so swollen cannot see tells me he slipped. Mom cannot bear another visit , phone calls expensive as they are happen frequently but cannot take losing another loved one.
August 2012 drive with difficult child's other 1/2 and boyfriend to prison hours away. Standing by gate waiting, waiting. difficult child comes out of doors
the nightmare is over.
Sept relative quiet/J reports health issues sent to specialist
Oct J (difficult child) told possible cancer surgery scheduled
Nov take sis (parapalegic) first vacation in 15 years (arranged months before) stressful at first but so worth it in the end. Turn 51 toast life.
arrive home something wrong with difficult child
last two weeks difficult child withdrawn, unavailable ----the truth comes out relapsed 3 weeks now thousands of dollars
there are no words. It is all on the table. Talk all night. difficult child leaves with girlfriend who still stays with him?
Me spinning, mom has no one left who could possibly understand this nightmare or listen without passing judgement . Mom comes home, here. She needs a SOFT PLACE TO LAND...
whew whoever made it through this book, that is the highlights thoughts, suggestions, prayers any and all offerings gratefully accepted..as ever I long for it....
peace rita
2007 &2008 difficult child finally quits using drugs when baby daughter is born/gets on track in his "difficult child" fashion albeit without the added issues of substance abuse. Last use night before her birth. husband retires
2009 Me lose 20 year job plant closure.husband relapses to use after 17 years sobriety/difficult child moves home to help
mid 2009 husband goes to rehab. I begin school again for 3rd college degree
late 2009 no improvement I leave home get new home without husband but continue relationship with visits daily conversations etc. cannot seem to move on with life. Co-dependancy disease better but not gone
2010 baby girl turns 2 find out "granddaughter" actually not blood this via text message received while on way to one of my best friends funerals. Still in turmoil J (difficult child) devastated child not his child lives with us shared custody. Family , everyone us, great grandparents, cousins aunts uncles thrown into chaos with update of childs birth line. New (found) father and J physical altercation. Mother knew truth all along, J robbed of daughter bio dad robbed of over two years of childs life. Family confab ties cut outcome as no legal rights. J does not relapse
2010 husband falls further into the abyss. Police find in ditch on road one day, no id. Me on a placement for school get call husband being helicoptered to Detroit for immediate surgery
April 2010 days turn to weeks hospital husband on life support brain tumors back, say last words and then just watch as he is kept artificially alive
May 2010 hospital wants decision "Good Lord" no not again, faced this once before do not feel I have the parts to do again. Overwhelmed difficult child a damn rock takes care of husband street mess, helps in every way. Issues with border crossingdue to record finally allowed as father dieing last wish. We arrive husband passes hours later
May 2010 too many decisions cannot focus or think, difficult child remains a rock writes eulogy and covers every step with me of aftermath
June July passed in a haze of tears and guilt difficult child keeps life running . Mom breaks down
Aug 2010 Mom brings husband to his final resting place our pact our promise to each other. Miles aways sailing from Grenada find the island in the sun he desired. Say our goodbyes
Sept 2010 return to school for final year some how get grades to receive Deans Honor. Still feeling scrambled, join bereavment group.we pull each other through. difficult child remains rock helpful and reliable all the way
Easter 2011 comes, family dinner one of our firsts holidays.devastation. phone rings. difficult child's best friend attacked while serving a prison sentence stabbed 47 times on life support. Being taken off once family arrives.
devastation again, not another loss
Mom goes away for weekend needs to regroup, while gone phone call comes difficult child best friend not going to make it after all. difficult child goes out roaring drunk gets into a physical altercation at a bar.All anger of last two years comes out.
2 weeks later police in driveway, handcuffed with whole neighborhood watching, difficult child taken to jail.
The wait is on court dates come and go remand, remand they want federal time.
Finally released on bail.
2011 mom keeps going focusing on school keeps focus off of chaos surrounding life.Mom meets another widower at a support group agrees to a date. Seriously good to share devastation of loss with another as friends don't want to hear it think should be "over it". It is our first shared activity and how our relationship started.
2011 difficult child remains clean and sober, best friend amazingly pulls through off life support but still incarcerated
Friend hangs on against all odd survives attack and after months of hospitalization is taken back to prison.
2011 Mom graduates, feels like a very hollow victory, Deans award but of no importance everything and everyone in life seems to be gone from me
2011 start new job-counselling addicts- lord knows I have an education in that and it did not just take place in college
2012 discovery, disclosure all done, down to famous final scene. Court. difficult child devastated witnessing his actions caught on film horrified at act. Sentence comes down. Thank god and the lawyer provincial time only. difficult child taken from court in cuffs shakles to prison.
2012 months in prison, Mom never visits after first one. Attend jail difficult child two black eyes so swollen cannot see tells me he slipped. Mom cannot bear another visit , phone calls expensive as they are happen frequently but cannot take losing another loved one.
August 2012 drive with difficult child's other 1/2 and boyfriend to prison hours away. Standing by gate waiting, waiting. difficult child comes out of doors
the nightmare is over.
Sept relative quiet/J reports health issues sent to specialist
Oct J (difficult child) told possible cancer surgery scheduled
Nov take sis (parapalegic) first vacation in 15 years (arranged months before) stressful at first but so worth it in the end. Turn 51 toast life.
arrive home something wrong with difficult child
last two weeks difficult child withdrawn, unavailable ----the truth comes out relapsed 3 weeks now thousands of dollars
there are no words. It is all on the table. Talk all night. difficult child leaves with girlfriend who still stays with him?
Me spinning, mom has no one left who could possibly understand this nightmare or listen without passing judgement . Mom comes home, here. She needs a SOFT PLACE TO LAND...
whew whoever made it through this book, that is the highlights thoughts, suggestions, prayers any and all offerings gratefully accepted..as ever I long for it....
peace rita
