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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 414138" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>You have my sincere sympathy. I have not been in your shoes and am grateful I was saved that pain. When my parents died I did not have any unresolved issues but my sister did. It has been 45 years and she still mentions the unresolved questions when she speaks of our Dad. As the youngest in the family but the designated leader, so to speak, I have offered her all the reassurances that I can but she still carries this feeling that she was not the daughter that Dad wanted.</p><p> </p><p>Admitedly I don't know if it would help but I do have a suggestion. Before your Dad passes (and even though he is not able to communicate) I suggest that you tell your Mom and the others that you need a few minutes alone with him. Then I think you should express what is in your heart to him alone. Chances are he will have no awareness but I think you need to tell him that you love him, that you still feel as though you were a disappointment and that makes you sad, and then bring up some good memories. Think of some times where you were proud he was your Dad. Think of some times when you were able to accomplish something and tell him that you hope he was proud. Pour your heart out. It will be an attempt to bring some perspective to the years you shared with him. Even if he passes before you can do it...do it when you are alone with him. It is my belief that it will allow you to ease your burden by sharing a one on one goodbye. Many hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 414138, member: 35"] You have my sincere sympathy. I have not been in your shoes and am grateful I was saved that pain. When my parents died I did not have any unresolved issues but my sister did. It has been 45 years and she still mentions the unresolved questions when she speaks of our Dad. As the youngest in the family but the designated leader, so to speak, I have offered her all the reassurances that I can but she still carries this feeling that she was not the daughter that Dad wanted. Admitedly I don't know if it would help but I do have a suggestion. Before your Dad passes (and even though he is not able to communicate) I suggest that you tell your Mom and the others that you need a few minutes alone with him. Then I think you should express what is in your heart to him alone. Chances are he will have no awareness but I think you need to tell him that you love him, that you still feel as though you were a disappointment and that makes you sad, and then bring up some good memories. Think of some times where you were proud he was your Dad. Think of some times when you were able to accomplish something and tell him that you hope he was proud. Pour your heart out. It will be an attempt to bring some perspective to the years you shared with him. Even if he passes before you can do it...do it when you are alone with him. It is my belief that it will allow you to ease your burden by sharing a one on one goodbye. Many hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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