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The last straw
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 120845" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>I am not all so sure Aly would be sitting back and "watching the chaos she created" exactly nor that she is not so greatly affected. </p><p>Nor am I so sure she intentionally became violent etc. Even a neurotypical child could become overstressed, overwhelmed and unable to control an outburst at that time. </p><p>I am not saying accept the violence, but, accept it as a sign things might be out of control in the entire situation here? Maybe haveing more fosters ("outnumbering her" so to speak) might keep her overstimulated. </p><p></p><p>While her age might be one number, it may have been too much for her, especially after a difficult school day- to be left to "play nicely" with kids she may see as some sort of "competition" given all her diagnosis'es and issues. Similar to how we would not leave a toddler alone to "play nice" with an infant? Or how sometimes we ourself sometimes become overwhelmed and feel a need for respite or outside help dealing with our own day to day life and responsibilities? Maybe the current foster kids are great kids, but, ALy does have, I am sure, memories of the other foster- the little boy.....and maybe she is living with a constant undercurrent of fear? And maybe it finally got the best of her? </p><p>I fear she may be looking at this whole thing right now as you chooseing to "side" with foster children instead of her, your child? </p><p></p><p>Have you spoken with husband today? Has he explained why he did not take Aly to crisis unit? Has your experiences been that that is ever helpful? (seems for some families a crisis unit or a crisis intervention does help, and in others experiences it does not help at all?) If your experience has been it is not helpful then is that why he did not take her there last nite? Was he afraid it might just escalate things worse with no benefit? </p><p></p><p>Seems there is no "easy" answer......but it does sound like Aly is in need and this is a sign of that need. </p><p>I am hoping you can have some rest today away from her......maybe regroup etc?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 120845, member: 1697"] I am not all so sure Aly would be sitting back and "watching the chaos she created" exactly nor that she is not so greatly affected. Nor am I so sure she intentionally became violent etc. Even a neurotypical child could become overstressed, overwhelmed and unable to control an outburst at that time. I am not saying accept the violence, but, accept it as a sign things might be out of control in the entire situation here? Maybe haveing more fosters ("outnumbering her" so to speak) might keep her overstimulated. While her age might be one number, it may have been too much for her, especially after a difficult school day- to be left to "play nicely" with kids she may see as some sort of "competition" given all her diagnosis'es and issues. Similar to how we would not leave a toddler alone to "play nice" with an infant? Or how sometimes we ourself sometimes become overwhelmed and feel a need for respite or outside help dealing with our own day to day life and responsibilities? Maybe the current foster kids are great kids, but, ALy does have, I am sure, memories of the other foster- the little boy.....and maybe she is living with a constant undercurrent of fear? And maybe it finally got the best of her? I fear she may be looking at this whole thing right now as you chooseing to "side" with foster children instead of her, your child? Have you spoken with husband today? Has he explained why he did not take Aly to crisis unit? Has your experiences been that that is ever helpful? (seems for some families a crisis unit or a crisis intervention does help, and in others experiences it does not help at all?) If your experience has been it is not helpful then is that why he did not take her there last nite? Was he afraid it might just escalate things worse with no benefit? Seems there is no "easy" answer......but it does sound like Aly is in need and this is a sign of that need. I am hoping you can have some rest today away from her......maybe regroup etc? [/QUOTE]
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