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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 224369" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkgreen">{{Judy}} I'm glad that you were able to finally figure this out. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkgreen">It took me since forever to figure out why my youngest daughter (difficult child, who was less than 2 when I left her dad) idolizes her dad. I understand it better now and understanding helps ME to change how I react to her and her attitudes towards both me and my current H, who has been her step dad for nearly 13 years of her 19. You'd think that by now she'd have seen the light. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkgreen">For some reason, my older daughter, easy child at 21, completely gets it and loves her step dad; they have an awesome relationship. She was our biggest cheerleader when we chose to get married - she so desperately wanted to be like everyone else (her idea of "normal') and have a set of parents, the house, the yard, etc. For her it signified stability. For my difficult child it signified something else completely (betrayal of me against her biodad) and I can't change that. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkgreen">Just like you can't change your kids' perspectives on this. You just have to press on and model the kind the marriage you hope they will have one day and pray that it sticks in their minds. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkgreen">It is very difficult for people living in constant chaos and walking on eggshells to suddenly not have that kind of tension in their lives. It's almost boring, you know? They have been programmed one way and now they are like salmon swimming against the current. Hopefully they will figure it out. In the meantime, I'm glad that your relationship with your H is so wonderful and fulfilling. I hope they see that one day.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 224369, member: 2211"] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen]{{Judy}} I'm glad that you were able to finally figure this out. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen]It took me since forever to figure out why my youngest daughter (difficult child, who was less than 2 when I left her dad) idolizes her dad. I understand it better now and understanding helps ME to change how I react to her and her attitudes towards both me and my current H, who has been her step dad for nearly 13 years of her 19. You'd think that by now she'd have seen the light. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen]For some reason, my older daughter, easy child at 21, completely gets it and loves her step dad; they have an awesome relationship. She was our biggest cheerleader when we chose to get married - she so desperately wanted to be like everyone else (her idea of "normal') and have a set of parents, the house, the yard, etc. For her it signified stability. For my difficult child it signified something else completely (betrayal of me against her biodad) and I can't change that. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen]Just like you can't change your kids' perspectives on this. You just have to press on and model the kind the marriage you hope they will have one day and pray that it sticks in their minds. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkgreen]It is very difficult for people living in constant chaos and walking on eggshells to suddenly not have that kind of tension in their lives. It's almost boring, you know? They have been programmed one way and now they are like salmon swimming against the current. Hopefully they will figure it out. In the meantime, I'm glad that your relationship with your H is so wonderful and fulfilling. I hope they see that one day.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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