The mind-blowing reality of the Catch-22 difficult child-world!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Mom2oddson, Apr 19, 2010.

  1. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    I'm totally irritated with difficult child-A because of his now he's totally irritated at me because I'm irritated at him....which only further irritates me. Lovely catch-22!....NOT.

    There isn't any one thing that he'd doing, nor anything really serious that he's doing.... it's just many, many little straws that have broken this camels back.

    He's not taking care of his MIP fines ($850) or doing the community service. He thinks he can pay $50 when ever he feels like it and it should keep him out of trouble. Or he thinks we'll bail him out if things get matter how many times we tell him we will not bail him him out and that if he doesn't take care of this, he will end up in jail.

    He's 19 and has the high school credits of a 9th grader. He's not going to graduate this year or next. Yet he refuses to get a GED or do anything else. And because Bio-Mom is on SSI, EG helped him get money from SSI for going to school. So, difficult child-A has no plans to end his free-ride by quitting school, but he's not going to do any of the work needed to get the credits to graduate.

    Add to that, I'm getting tired of being used. Unless husband or easy child are in town, I barely see difficult child-A, unless he wants cash from me. When I offer to pay him for cleaning the cat box...he gets mad and leaves. On the rare occassions when difficult child-A decides to grace me with his presence, he acts like the royal heir and thinks I should be bowing at his feet. He gets attitude because I won't leave my comfy living room so he and his friends can use it. He is too good to be in the family room with the dogs. Oh, and I have the nerve to get mad at him when he takes my razor or my shop-vac, or my lunch or the blankets from MY bed for him and his friends to use...... I'm such an unreasonable person. I'm so done.

    husband got home for his 2-week visit Friday afternoon. difficult child-A shows up at 3:20 AM Saturday. Guess what??? husband didn't bow down to his royal highness either. difficult child-A is really mad now! He stormed off and hasn't been heard from since Saturday. I'm sure he'll be back sometime during husband's visit home.

    husband is ready to kick difficult child-A out for good. I want husband to wait until he'll be home for good so that he can back it up. I don't want to be left home alone with an angry difficult child running around town.

    Thanks for letting me vent.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sorry things are so rough. Stick to your guns. Even though A lives there, make sure he does not have keys to the doors. This way if he is being unsafe you can lock him out. Or if husband goes and kicks him out then you will at least be able to keep him locked out.

    It would be smart to go ahead and check with the city to see if you have to formally evict A as he is over 18. That way you will have all the facts for when you decide to go ahead and kick him out.

    As for him taking your razor or blankets or whatever, have you thought about putting a deadbolt on your door so he cannot get in and take your stuff? It can be easier than fighting to keep him out of your stuff.

    Many gentle hugs.