The most disgusting thing I have ever done...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AnnieO, Jul 30, 2015.

  1. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    ...Was hubs and I cleaning "stuff" out of Pat's room.

    Oh. My. Word.

    His room smelled bad. I figured it was normal teenage boy funk, for a long time, but it was really getting out of hand. With Pat at Belle's for the time being, and being in a world of hurt when he returns, I got a plastic tote box to throw his random toys in... Magic the Gathering cards, Stormtrooper figurines, etc.

    Night stand? Well, aside from the aforementioned and a LOT of pens and pencils, there were also several Christmas gifts from various people - unopened.

    Desk? More cards, writing utensils, unopened school supplies from more than 2 years ago, stuff like watercolor paints completely missing some colors (no trace) and the others untouched, random garbage. Bars of soap, lotion, a dinosaur egg.

    Shelving unit... Drawers... "clean" sheets that the smell nearly knocked me over, more trash. A brand-new Bluetooth headset, still sealed in the box. Random tools from the Erector set my Dad gave him several years ago, that he never used. Wait. BLUETOOTH HEADSET? Merry Christmas to ME. That was one of my gifts from hubs last Christmas... He had asked Pat to wrap them so they could be from both of them, and Pat then denied ever seeing them, he even "looked everywhere". They weren't just set there, either. They were carefully hidden behind other stuff. GRRRR.

    And then. Then. I opened a dresser drawer to see if there was any trash in there (per history)... And... the smell was horrendous. Like dirty feet, body odor and mildew concentrated. Hubs turned green too. Thank heavens I had nitrile gloves on already.

    All clothing and bedding are in the laundry room. I Lysolled the room, inside the dresser, etc. Tonight I'll scrub mop the floor. But this morning? The room smelled about 95% better.

    SO disgusting. Some of the clothing was literally hard. *shudder* And I'm pretty upset about the headset (which I love)... Lying and theft are the quickest ways to anger me...
     
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I would be thrilled that he found someplace else to live.
     
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    He has two years of high school left.
     
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I saw the title and knew what you were up to.
    One of these days I'll have to do the same.

    Wish I knew how to keep it from getting this bad again, but... know what I mean?
     
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Before it was teen boy... Now it's something completely different.
     
  6. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    He can go to high school no matter where he lives. I know that at 16 he is your responsibilities, but for now I would be happy to have a break in order to gear up for the battle ahead.
     
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I am... Sigh. I feel like nothing I do will break the self loathing instilled by his bio mom. :-(
     
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    The best remedy for self loathing is not us telling them how wonderful they are, or how much we love them, but because they begin to rely on themselves to problem solve. It takes time and our not rushing in to make it all better. I am slowly learning that last part.
     
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  9. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    OMG--Isn't this the wisdom of the ages????

    Yet, something we 'modern persons' are just now discovering????

    Or, maybe, rediscovering. Or should be rediscovering.

    Pasa, why don't you put this on the Wisdom of Isolate--1st Precept thread. We should explore this.
     
  10. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Annie,

    I know teen boys are not known for their cleanliness, but, GAG!!!!!!

    And the theft is a BIG deal!

    So sorry you have to go through this yet again.
     
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I truly think he needs to learn a hard lesson about life. Or... He will be on the streets with no idea how to live. Not as an addict, just someone who doesn't have a home. Because honestly? We would do him no favors letting him stay with us forever. Not to mention I don't like the idea at all!!!
     
  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Been there when I had to clean M's room - twice. Now the last time she came over during her pass - she opened her closet and was in disbelief over how much trash she had, because honestly after going through things to ensure there were no drugs, I just threw it all in the closet and then blocked the closet with the wooden toy box so Connor couldn't get in there. She says she is most definitely cleaning that when she comes home for her weekend pass. She is not the slob she used to be...they do grow up... :)
     
  13. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I have two horder children who cant seem to understand the concept of getting rid of things.

    On the other hand I am heck on wheels about cleaning. They do it when I say or I do it. They HATE it when I do it because I go through everything piece by piece and get rid of anything slighlty messed up. Clean clothes that are wadded up and stuck in drawers have to be rewashed. Shirts that fell off hangars have to be rewashed. Socks with no matches get rewashed and matched or tossed if there is no match. I do this about every 3 months. I can handle a lot of clutter but I can't handle lazy and I can't handle dirty.
     
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Annie O, you sure you weren't cleaning out my son's room?
    Did you find any cat poop while you were at it? And half-eaten candy bars? And spilled OJ or Coke that had hardened into the floor?

    Wow, are you smart to wear gloves. l never even thought of that.
    Sigh.
     
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sounds like a truly unpleasant experience! What consequences will you impose? Making him pay what a cleaning service would pay, or what a specialize crime scene cleanup team would charge, would be a way to set a price.

    I am glad you found your headset. What are you planning to do as his consequence for stealing from you?
     
  16. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I've been a bit AWOL lately... He's home... His room took 3 days to start smelling bad again. I don't understand. He has no internet access, no screens... And he gets to deep clean things like the shop vac his sister borrowed and returned full of cat poo.

    His chores got increased. But husband isn't very consistent.
     
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Annie... it's their native habitat. It's the only explanation I can find. They NEED those smells, for "some unknown reason".

    And... You and I need to NOT have those smells. (of course)
     
  18. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I could live with the smells, no matter how horrid... If it weren't for the actual nasty stuff. Yuck!
     
  19. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    I swear most teenage boys are a mess with hygiene and cleaning. My 2 boys where a mess meaning they did a lot of mess and we punished them, yelled at them took their privileges but they where still messy boys and their are still messy adults. My oldest has his own apartment and its a mess clutter over clutter, junk everywhere unwashed dishes and clothes and a smell that is hard to deal with. Yet this in spite of me and mostly mu wives hard work of teaching them the value of being clean and ordered.
    Granted even if we failed they are on their own 2 feet so I guess I was proven wrong.
     
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