The move

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by slsh, Jul 24, 2007.

  1. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    thank you went to the TLP yesterday. He was pretty anxious, but happily never did reach the ultra high levels we've seen in the past. No sabotage. I think fear was the emotion of the day.

    Staffing went well. This is going to be a *huge* adjustment for him. He was asking staff if he could contact friends at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - staff doesn't monitor like that. He has the potential to have a tremendous about of freedom. He did turn quite green when one of the therapeutic supervisors told him that the goal is for him to spend as little time around TLP staff and "members" (residents) as possible once he's made level. He has to go to school and do his chores in the program, but outside of that he needs to create friendships and ties in the community so that the *next* time he moves, he won't have to ask if he can stay in contact. I quickly stepped in and reassurred him that they're not going to lock him out, but that they will be teaching him how to use transportation in the community, will help him get a job or volunteer position, will support him as he spreads his wings. I did explain to staff that we live in a tiny little village, plus he's been basically locked down for 7 years, so the bright lights of Chicago are incredibly intimidating for thank you.

    I'm reassured about the house, not that I really had doubts. It continued to be immaculate, especially considering 12 teen boys live there, LOL. They weren't terribly organized (house mgr having been off this week) in terms of having dresser and a desk in his room for him, but that mattered not at all to him, and it's not like he actually *uses* a dresser, LOL - though that will be changing I suspect :wink: . Shift supervisor spent about an hour or so with us, explaining rules and expectations, answering thank you's questions, and thankfully addressing one of my biggest worries. A friend of thank you's from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is in this placement, not the ideal influence. Supervisor gently steered thank you away from X in terms of him being a role model - didn't discourage the friendship at all but did point out that X has his own "issues with the program". I don't know if thank you heard him. Will be interesting to see how this shakes out.

    thank you was anxious to socialize with his new house mates, so we left (Weeburt was with- me). I broke down as we walked down the steps - leaving my beloved son once again at another "placement", pure selfishness on my part, but a lot of grief anyway.

    We have absolutely no idea of how thank you is going to do. We're hopeful but... for the first time ever, I have absolutely no clue of what to expect from thank you, which is probably positive. And as husband pointed out last night, if someone had told us 18 months ago thank you was going to be making this move, we would've told them they were crazy.
  2. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Oh sounds like thank you has made AMAZING strides! I hope he adjusts well to his new surroundings and new housemates quickly. I can imagine it would be quite the adjustment for a easy child, no mind a difficult child. How wonderful for him that he was able to keep his anxiety levels down from the ultra highs you've seen in the past and not self sabatoge!

    I don't blame you for crying as you left...I would have done the same thing. We're moms...we're allowed to do that. :::hugs:::
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sue, all you can do is try. The last time he left to come home, did not work. So this time, try something different. I pray that he has really learned new strategies this time.

    I am sorry for your hurting mommy heart, but that heart knows it is doing the right thing, too.
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I am sitting here with stinging eyes at your post. you have loved and nurtured thank you thru so much. heck I even still cry when I think about my easy child 29 yr old police officer moving out of my house last month. I wasnt ready even then.
    to have lived the life of thank you, and been thru changes and amazing. hugs and applause to all!
  5. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    It sounds like the move went well and there's a lot of hope that thank you will do well there.

    I would have cried too. You've done a great job giving thank you what he needs.

    Sending prayers and good thoughts that this will help thank you become more independent.

  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a huge step for thank you. I am keeping the prayers going that he continues to make great strides. I know I would have been crying too-I don't think it's selfish at all. You are an amazing warrior mom and have done so much for thank you. You've had to make tough decisions and have always done what is best for him. Hugs.