...where the sun don't shine. I had an ENG done today by an audiologist about my balance issues. (Don't know what ENG stands for.) Anyway, the test found that there is an area of weakness in my left vestibular (still have to look that up) and the cerebellum (that has atrophied some) isn't processing the information correctly. IOW, I have balance issues. (Yeah, I already knew that. But, now I have PROOF.) Like the kind that the neurologist said I didn't have because I went through 'elaborate measure', i.e., putting my hand out, to catch myself. I'd like to give him a piece of my mind. And maybe a foot up his ..... ahem. In other news, I was feeling very sorry for myself last night. Exhausted, in pain, emotional. Called my mom and said I just want someone to take care of me. I'm tired of going from specialist to specialist. I'm just going to stop. Wait to hear from the NIH. If that's a no go, then either Mayo or Cleveland Clinic. If those are no go's than go from there. Every doctor I have seen says it appears to be systemic inflammatory disease. Most of those and the autoimmune disorders are treated with the same medications. I don't see why we can't just try the stupid medications and see what happens. It's done in psychiatry ALL the time. I have the symptoms. I don't care what the blood work shows. NOTHING in my bloodwork or anything else even hinted at such severe heart disease. Blood work isn't the end all, be all. Even the endocrinologist said that a negative test result doesn't necessarily mean it's negative; that nothing is 100%. So, I'm going to talk to my doctor about this and see if she'll talk to the rheumy. Oh. And the audiologist, besides giving me some exercises to help with the balance issues, told me that it's really important to get out and exercise...even if I can only walk 3 blocks and even if it hurts. I just looked at her and said, "Ok." I called my GP's office after and told the receptionist/secretary/nurse what the audiologist said and she laughed. Obviously, the audiologist doesn't understand the difference between a pain level of 3 and OH MY FREAKING GOSH. So, that's that. I'd really like to call the neurologist and say neener neener neener.