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The other shoe dropped...
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 58772" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I had a great day yesterday with-difficult child when he came home from camp. He was really homesick, and very polite, actually opening doors for us. </p><p>The other shoe dropped this a.m. husband didn't give him his pill, and difficult child had a 9:30 test at Sylvan. I took me 45 min. to get him out of bed, and I had to bribe him with-McDonald's. Along the way, he screamed and snarled at me, and when we were at Sylvan, he hit me in the arm.</p><p>I called husband this a.m. and met him at Starbucks. I told him that difficult child is absolutely going to a boarding school. I refuse to live like this. I was SO angry at husband, but it turned out, he tried to give difficult child his pill for about 15 min. at 7:45 a.m. and gave up. He had forgotten about the test at Sylvan and he apologized. He has been very lax about reading the calendar in the kitchen. (Which HE bought, by the way.) </p><p>At least this way, difficult child will get a good education.</p><p>I'll be spending the next few mo's researching, as well as figuring out our finances.</p><p>It may only be that we can afford to send difficult child to a HS and we'll have him here for the next 2 yrs, but I told husband that if I have a long-range goal in mind, it will help my emotional resilience immensely. His fave phrase is, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." I told him that I refuse to wait and I need a plan now. Since he won't make a plan, I will. </p><p></p><p>He added that difficult child flat out doesn't like me, which I know, but it's still very depressing. I had so many plans for him, and even as a toddler, nothing turned out the way I had anticipated. Several counselors have suggested that difficult child has an underlying anger about his adoption and that I am the target but still, he needs to treat me with-respect, and take responsibility for his actions. </p><p>difficult child has SO much potential. </p><p></p><p>I like this plan because it will give him a great education, allow me to keep my sanity, allow easy child to have friends over to the house and live a normal life (she hasn't had friends overnight or for dinner in yrs.). </p><p></p><p>We're not going to say anything to the kids until it is totally researched an in place, which will take mo's and may a yr. </p><p></p><p>It's funny how certain circumstances clarify things. Having difficult child away for a wk, watching how his behavior improved away from us--at a "regular" camp--and then watching him turn into a monster so soon afterward, just made everything so crystal clear.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 58772, member: 3419"] I had a great day yesterday with-difficult child when he came home from camp. He was really homesick, and very polite, actually opening doors for us. The other shoe dropped this a.m. husband didn't give him his pill, and difficult child had a 9:30 test at Sylvan. I took me 45 min. to get him out of bed, and I had to bribe him with-McDonald's. Along the way, he screamed and snarled at me, and when we were at Sylvan, he hit me in the arm. I called husband this a.m. and met him at Starbucks. I told him that difficult child is absolutely going to a boarding school. I refuse to live like this. I was SO angry at husband, but it turned out, he tried to give difficult child his pill for about 15 min. at 7:45 a.m. and gave up. He had forgotten about the test at Sylvan and he apologized. He has been very lax about reading the calendar in the kitchen. (Which HE bought, by the way.) At least this way, difficult child will get a good education. I'll be spending the next few mo's researching, as well as figuring out our finances. It may only be that we can afford to send difficult child to a HS and we'll have him here for the next 2 yrs, but I told husband that if I have a long-range goal in mind, it will help my emotional resilience immensely. His fave phrase is, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." I told him that I refuse to wait and I need a plan now. Since he won't make a plan, I will. He added that difficult child flat out doesn't like me, which I know, but it's still very depressing. I had so many plans for him, and even as a toddler, nothing turned out the way I had anticipated. Several counselors have suggested that difficult child has an underlying anger about his adoption and that I am the target but still, he needs to treat me with-respect, and take responsibility for his actions. difficult child has SO much potential. I like this plan because it will give him a great education, allow me to keep my sanity, allow easy child to have friends over to the house and live a normal life (she hasn't had friends overnight or for dinner in yrs.). We're not going to say anything to the kids until it is totally researched an in place, which will take mo's and may a yr. It's funny how certain circumstances clarify things. Having difficult child away for a wk, watching how his behavior improved away from us--at a "regular" camp--and then watching him turn into a monster so soon afterward, just made everything so crystal clear. [/QUOTE]
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