TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Well, I knew difficult child was being too perfect to be real. He didn't have a meltdown when we transitioned from camp. He has been getting himself up and dressed every a.m. for school. He only had a minor pouting session when we explained the school/computer/football schedule to him, and how homework has to come first.
So, two nights ago, after husband and I had gone out to dinner our date night, husband disappeared for a min, then came back to the table and said,"B4 you leave the table, I need you to tell me about this."
He put an extremely bent flathead screwdriver on the table.
"I found this in easy child's door."
Argh. It was wedged in there so tightly, husband had a hard time getting it out.
Sheesh. You'd think difficult child would have been a little more persistent trying to get it out so he wouldn't get caught. Pretty d*mn obvious.
difficult child stared at the table, at the floor, anywhere except at the screwdriver. (This is one of the techniques our therapist taught us: put the item in front of difficult child, don't let him leave the room until he talks about it. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad have to be totally silent, except an occasional prompt every few min, like "'I don't know' isn't an answer. Try again." Or, "I need an answer." The dr told us it could last for hrs, but we've never had it take more than 20 min. The more we do it, the shorter it gets. Now we're down to about 1 min.)
husband gave difficult child the choice of his own punishment. After quite some time, difficult child decided to ground himself off of all electronic equipment.
Okay.
He left the room quietly, sulking, but didn't yell or blame us. Whew!
husband said, privately, he was really proud of difficult child. He admitted what he did (tried to do), came up with-his own punishment, and didn't have a meltdown. The next afternoon and night, he never begged to negotiate.
Maybe some of this work is paying off?
Now, to get difficult child to quit sneaking into other people's rooms ...
So, two nights ago, after husband and I had gone out to dinner our date night, husband disappeared for a min, then came back to the table and said,"B4 you leave the table, I need you to tell me about this."
He put an extremely bent flathead screwdriver on the table.
"I found this in easy child's door."
Argh. It was wedged in there so tightly, husband had a hard time getting it out.
Sheesh. You'd think difficult child would have been a little more persistent trying to get it out so he wouldn't get caught. Pretty d*mn obvious.
difficult child stared at the table, at the floor, anywhere except at the screwdriver. (This is one of the techniques our therapist taught us: put the item in front of difficult child, don't let him leave the room until he talks about it. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad have to be totally silent, except an occasional prompt every few min, like "'I don't know' isn't an answer. Try again." Or, "I need an answer." The dr told us it could last for hrs, but we've never had it take more than 20 min. The more we do it, the shorter it gets. Now we're down to about 1 min.)
husband gave difficult child the choice of his own punishment. After quite some time, difficult child decided to ground himself off of all electronic equipment.
Okay.
He left the room quietly, sulking, but didn't yell or blame us. Whew!
husband said, privately, he was really proud of difficult child. He admitted what he did (tried to do), came up with-his own punishment, and didn't have a meltdown. The next afternoon and night, he never begged to negotiate.
Maybe some of this work is paying off?
Now, to get difficult child to quit sneaking into other people's rooms ...